Eva Mendes

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes can't stop banging

Wait, so you're telling me that two attractive people actually enjoy having sex with each other? This is shocking news. From Star:

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes can't keep their hands off each other. The couple have reportedly been getting frisky in the editing suite of the actor's directorial debut How To Catch A Monster in which his actress girlfriend stars, much to the shock of other crew members.

A source told Star magazine: "They aren't exactly discreet. Ryan will be totally focused, then she'll throw him off by giving him a saucy look. The next thing you know, they've kicked everyone out of of the room so they can 'talk'."

When How to Catch a Monster is released, I bet every sound effect is gonna sound like skin slapping against skin . . . so a lot like when Jonah Hill walks down the street alone. Hey, Ryan and Eva can plow each other until the room stinks -- just make sure the room isn't the break room as a sign of courtesy. I swear, if I have to wipe DNA evidence off my vintage Batman and Robin coffee mug one more time, I'm filing a complaint with the Teen Actors Guild, and possibly OSHA.

*10 Ryan and Eva pictures total in the gallery:

Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes leaving her hotel in New York (4/18)

*20 Eva Mendes pictures total in the gallery:

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes in New York last year

Ryan Gosling almost beat up a photographer who called Eva Mendes "baby" at the Bowery Hotel in New York on Friday night. RYAN GOSLING MAD! RYAN GOSLING SMASH! From the New York Post:

Don't mess with Ryan Gosling's girlfriend, Eva Mendes. We're told the pair, in town for the premiere of their new movie, "The Place Beyond the Pines," were at the Bowery Hotel Friday when a fashion photographer who had recently shot Mendes saw her and shouted, "Hey, baby!" "Ryan completely flipped out, and it got heated," says an eyewitness. "Ryan got in the guy's face and said, 'Who are you calling baby?' Eva had to jump in and calm everyone down before it came to fisticuffs. Ryan then made nice and shook the guy's hand." The couple, who quietly have been dating since September, worked to keep their privacy intact the night before during a Svedka-sponsored party for the flick, also at the hotel.

Whoa there, when did Ryan Gosling become a tough guy? I guess the awful, 1940's Brooklyn accent he brings to EVERY roll has suddenly put some hair on his sack. Hey, if smoking hot Eva Mendes asked me to, I'd have no problem head-butting the new Pope during Sunday Mass, but I'm sort of a bad-ass. Handsome Ryan Gosling is not intimidating in any shape or fashion. Hell, if the cast of Project Runway had a Battle Royale just for kicks, Ryan would get his ass kicked and dumped way before before anyone else broke a nail -- and that includes the low T-cell count boys.

*15 Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes pictures total in the gallery:

Eva Mendes out and about in Manhattan (3/27)

She wears underwear :(

*30 Eva Mendes pictures total in the gallery:

Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes walking her dog in L.A. (3/7)

*30 Eva Mendes pictures total in the gallery:

Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes leaving Gelson's market in Los Feliz (12/30)

*15 Eva Mendes pictures total in the gallery:

Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes shopping in West Hollywood (11/9)

*5 Eva Mendes pictures total in the gallery:

Eva Mendes on the set of Clear History at the Topsfield Fair in Topsfield, Massachusetts (10/2)

I don't know whose idea it was to make beautiful Eva Mendes look like that in her new movie (Clear History), but congratulations, you're an asshole. Maybe in the next scene you could have a huge cock hanging out of her zipper. Or maybe, instead of filming a new scene, you could come over to my house and kick me in the balls.

*15 Eva Mendes pictures total in the gallery:

Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes out and about in West Hollywood (8/22)

*30 Eva Mendes pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Friday, June 15

Eva Mendes shopping in Hollywood (pics start here)

Kate Winslet on the set of Labor Day in Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts (pics start here)

Eddie Murphy's girlfriend Rocsi Diaz in Maui (pics start here)

Sharon Stone leaving her hotel in Madrid, Spain (pics start here)

Shakira at the Spain vs. Ireland match at Euro 2012 in Gdansk, Poland (pics start here)

James Marsden at the beach in Maui (pics start here)

Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Busy Philipps leaving the Byron & Tracey Salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Ashton Kutcher arriving at Mila Kunis' house in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Ali Larter leaving her hotel in New York (pics start here)

Vanessa Hudgens and her boyfriend Austin Butler leaving Kings Road Cafe in Studio City (pics start here)

Alessandra Ambrosio arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Ashley Greene leaving Trader Joe's in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Catherine Zeta-Jones outside The Daily Show studios in New York (pics start here)

*117 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery: