Erin Muller

Michael Lohan at the "Halfway To The Jersey Shore" in Philadelphia (1/22)

If Lindsay Lohan thinking about getting her dad Michael an early Father's Day gift, may I suggest bail money? He was arrested yet again yesterday in New York. From AP:

Police on New York's Long Island say Michael Lohan was arrested Thursday morning and charged with criminal contempt. Police did not provide further details.

Bryan Konoski, an attorney for Lohan's ex-girlfriend Erin Muller, has told the New York Post that Lohan allegedly phoned Muller at work Jan. 21. That would violate an order of protection.

Lohan had been arrested on a similar charge in December.

In June, a judge said Lohan would avoid prosecution on an aggravated harassment charge if he stayed out of trouble for a year. Lohan denied he threatened to kill his girlfriend and himself if she left him.

Lohan's attorney had said his client is the victim of fabrications.

Whew, that was close -- January was almost over without a Lohan being arrested. The streak was almost broken. Did you know a Lohan family member has been arrested every month for 113 straight months? Seriously, that's such a crazy fact that I couldn't possibly make it up. It's in the Guinness Book of World Records and everything. I'm predicting Ali to go down in February. Something about her just screams "I have a tiny meth lab in my closet that my mom thinks is a project for chemistry class, even though I haven't been to school in two years."

Michael Lohan is a great guy

The vagina. The "he" is Michael Lohan and the "her" is his ex-girlfriend Erin Muller. In documents filed with the Nassau County, NY, court yesterday asking them to drop his harassment allegations against her, Erin accused Michael of physically abusing her twelve times over the past two years. From TMZ:

According to the documents, Erin claims Michael physically abused her on the following dates...

Dec. 9, 2007: Michael Lohan "slapped Erin in the face twice because Erin accused him of giving her a fake watch on her birthday.

Feb. 2008: Michael "punched Erin in the mouth" because she had a male friend on Facebook

March 2008: Michael "whipped a computer cord" at her face but she blocked it with her hand ... causing a laceration.

May 5, 2008: Michael "kicked Erin Muller in the ribs."

May 2008: Michael "kicked Erin Muller in the vagina, bruising it and causing substantial pain."

June 2008: Michael "spit in Erin's face, and beat her repeatedly with his fist." Then he "yelled at her to 'stop crying c*nt -- other people will see you -- if they see you, I will kill you!'"

Wait a minute, Erin remembers the exact dates she was abused? Was she keeping a diary or something?

"Dec. 9, 2007 - Got slapped in the face today with a Rolecks watch. Beginning to think Michael isn't quite the prince his match.com profile made him out to be."

"Feb. 2008 - Michael punched me in the mouth today. It's been over two months since he abused me, so I think he's really making progress. Oh that reminds me, do laundry tomorrow."

"March 2008 - Michael now using weapons. Starting to get worried."

"May 5, 2008 - Got kicked in the ribs today after I told Michael to stop making me wear a red wig and calling me 'Lindsay' when we have sex. Hmmm, maybe I should break up with him."

"May 2008 - Michael actually kicked me in the vagina. It hurts beyond belief. It reminds me of the time I hooked up with that Celebslam dude. His penis is so huge he should make chicks sign a waiver before having sex."

"June 2008 - After Michael spit in my face today, we saw the new 'Indiana Jones' movie. Really Steven Spielberg? Really? Beginning to think this diary will eventually be found in a ditch next to my body. "