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Enrique Iglesias and Anna Kournikova at the Sony Ericsson Open in Key Biscayne, FL (4/2)

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Enrique Iglesias chokes out a fan

Enrique Iglesias brought a fan onstage during his performance in Dublin, Ireland, on Tuesday. And then basically choked her. Yikes. Look, I can understand why Enrique's a popular guy but this is a little much. You shouldn't be able to get away with crap like that just because you have a pretty nice voice and decent looks . . . OK, and a smile that could stop a runaway bullet train . . . and abs that you swear were crafted by the hand of God himself . . . and an ass that looks like it was carved from granite and you're not gay or anything but you'd give anything to squeeze it one time to confirm your suspicions and did somebody turn the heater on in here because I am suddenly sweating like a gerbil in a gay bar . . . wait, what were we talking about again?

[WENN]

Anna Kournikova bikini pics

... so it is possible to wear a hat that douchy and still have a girlfriend as hot as Anna Kournikova.

According to UK gossip rag The Sun, Enrique Iglesias recently admitted to "a mag" that he has an extremely small penis:

The Spanish heart-throb, 32, — who is dating Russian tennis star ANNA KOURNIKOVA — confessed it was the one thing he would change about his body. His dad Julio, 63, is a legendary lover said to have bedded 3,000 women. But Enrique told a mag:

“I’d change my penis if I could. It’s way, way, way too small.” Enrique also revealed he has no plans to wed Anna, 25, as “it wouldn’t make a difference.” (Source)

Since Enrique's plugging Anna Kournikova, legally, I'm not allowed to make fun of him. So I'll focus on my bed-wetting uncle, Charlie. He takes pills for erectile difficulties. Which is kind of ironic for a registered sex offender. And for someone who has such an extensive Hot Wheels collection.

BONUS: Since the article mentioned her name, I'm also legally required to post sexy pictures of Anna Kournikova. It's in the blogging bylaws.