Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia de Rossi on a boat in St. Barts (12/27)

It's one thing to live an "alternative lifestyle" like lesbians Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, but it's another thing entirely to rub that alternative lifestyle in the face of God-fearing Christians such as myself. Just look at those sick perverts! Today they're innocently preening each others hair in public, tomorrow they're MOLESTING OUR CHILDREN! It's a slippery slope if I've ever seen one.

*5 Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Monday, December 27

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi in St. Barts (pics start here)

Model Sophie Anderton in Turkey (pics start here)

Emmanuelle Chriqui leaving the ArcLight Hollywood at the Cinerama Dome after catching a movie (pics start here)

Paris Hilton in Maui (pics start here)

Kate Hudson shopping in Aspen (pics start here)

Fred Durst and his girlfriend (unknown) leaving the ArcLight Hollywood at the Cinerama Dome (pics start here)

Calista Flockhart at the Brentwood Country Mart (pics start here)

Jessica Sutta performing at Sun Life Stadium in Miami before the Lions vs. Dolphins game (pics start here)

Laura Dern at the Brentwood Country Mart (pics start here)

Cameron Diaz arriving at the Staples Center in L.A. (pics start here)

Jayde Nicole leaving Voyeur nightclub in West Hollywood (pics start here)

David Arquette at 7-Eleven in Hollywood (pics start here)

*112 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

You'll never guess who the top is

Fox has found their replacement for Paula Abdul. Ellen Degeneres. Wait, what? From the AP:

Fox announced Wednesday the talk show host and comedian, who admittedly has no formal music experience, just a passion for tunes, will join Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi for the ninth season. The announcement all but seals the departure of Paula Abdul, the original third judge who announced she was quitting amid a contract dispute in July.

Wednesday's announcement came as a shock to many of the singing competition's fans, who did not expect the Emmy-winning talk show host to fill Abdul's spot. DeGeneres told her talk show audience in an episode scheduled to air Thursday that she had been "dying to tell everyone" and would not abandon her chatfest. Instead, she will have "a day job and a night job."

"The times we're living in," she quipped, "we're all doing that."

Uh oh, I bet things get pretty awkward now on the American Idol set. How are Kara and Randy supposed to work with Ellen staring at their tits? I give her half a season, tops.

Ellen DeGeneres out and about in Beverly Hills (4/12)

Ellen DeGeneres left a nice, steaming present in front of Courteney Cox and David Arquette's house in Malibu a few weeks ago. PWN3D! From the National Enquirer:

Ellen Degeneres was walking her pup on Aug. 5 in front of the Malibu home of her good friends Courteney Cox and David Arquette when the pooch made a special deposit. Ellen -- who didn't have a doggy bag for clean up duty -- looked around for eyewitnesses, and when she didn't see any, scooted away. (Print Edition - 8/17)

Of course Ellen didn't pick up the dog poop. If she had, her love life would have been ruined by the E. coli on her fingers. Besides, when you live in Hollywood you don't need to take responsibility for your mistakes. Just ask K-Fed. If Ellen's ever going to be able to look Courteney and David in the eyes again, she better let them do something equally as disgusting to her: like Upper Deck her master bedroom toilet perform a White Dragon set her up with a man.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi leaving Madeo restaurant in West Hollywood (4/18)

Ellen DeGeneres needs a new stylist or something. Just look at what she wore to Madeo restaurant on Saturday with her best friend Portia de Rossi, who she's mysteriously always pictured with. You know how the rumor machine works in Hollywood with these big stars. I'd hate for people to start questioning her sexuality.