Elizabeth Taylor

Lindsay Lohan out and about in New York (5/11)

Lindsay Lohan is actually taking a role seriously? I'm not buying it. She'll be selling stolen set supplies for coke money by the third day. From the Chicago Sun Times:

Guess Lindsay Lohan has been hearing the sarcastic "Last Chance Lohan" cracks from a few Hollywood honchos — noting she better not bomb in her upcoming Lifetime film about screen legend Elizabeth Taylor.

LiLo knows that all eyes will be on her performance to see if she still "has it." That's likely why Lohan has not only been dressing and making herself up as Taylor did when young — plus carefully screening virtually all of her movies — but also has been watching footage of various Taylor public appearances and interviews to capture the nuances of her voice when she wasn't playing a role.

On top of that, I've heard that Lohan has reached out to various people who knew Taylor well, looking for insights into the two-time Oscar winner. They include hairdresser Jose Eber and two ex-husbands: Larry Fortensky and former Sen. John Warner.

Ha! Joke's on all of you "Hollywood honchos" -- this biopic will be the biggest ratings success in the illustrious history of the Lifetime Network. Think of this Liz Taylor movie as being The Avengers of basic cable -- just replace Captain America's shield and Thor's hammer with a glass table and a rolled up twenty. This hot mess of a movie has a potential for disaster so great that Lifetime will have to make a biopic of the making of the Liz Taylor biopic. I'll even donate the title, free of charge: "F.U.B.A.R., The Fall, Fall -- Slight Return -- and Fall of Lindsay Lohan" -- starring Lindsay Lohan, with special guest star, a mountain of cocaine.

*15 Lindsay Lohan pictures total in the gallery:

Lindsay Lohan to denigrate the memory of Elizabeth Taylor

It's pretty sad that this counts as big news for her, but Lindsay Lohan has "landed" the lead role in a made-for-TV movie on -- wait for it -- the Lifetime Channel. Oscars, here she comes! From Access Hollywood:

[Lindsay Lohan] scored the role of Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime TV movie, "Liz and Dick," a source tells Access Hollywood's Billy Bush. But, there is one legal-related caveat: Lindsay needs to stay on the right side of court.

According to the source, if Lohan continues to stick to the judge's orders, as she has been doing, she will be playing the "Cleopatra" beauty in the Lifetime made-for-TV film about the late actress. The project, helmed by producer Larry Thompson, has been in development since May 2011.

Talk about a back-loaded contract -- why would you offer Lindsay any type of deal if she can't use her greatest promotional tool? Lindsay isn't afraid of judges, idiots. Appearing before judges and acting sorry is how Lindsay keeps her acting teeth sharp and her name alive. That's like telling me to stop banging supermodels, or telling Ashton Kutcher he's the new James Bond as long as he stops being a douchebag for the next 10 minutes. It's just not happening. Look, you're the Lifetime Channel so odds are that this movie is gonna blow, but it can still be a hit. Don't spend a dime to promote the thing, just stand back and let Hurricane Cocaine do her thing. At best you'll crush your mortal enemy (Hallmark Channel) in the ratings. At worst, you'll own the rights to cover a funeral that's guaranteed to be even tackier than the Whitney Houston show last week.

*5 Lindsay Lohan pictures total in the gallery:

Elizabeth Taylor dead at the age of 79

Elizabeth Taylor passed away this morning from congestive heart failure. She was 79. From CNN:

Taylor died "peacefully today in Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles," said a statement from her publicist. She was hospitalized six weeks ago with congestive heart failure, "a condition with which she had struggled for many years. Though she had recently suffered a number of complications, her condition had stabilized and it was hoped that she would be able to return home. Sadly, this was not to be."

Though a two-time Oscar winner -- for "Butterfield 8" (1960) and "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" (1966) -- Taylor was more celebrated for simply being Elizabeth Taylor: sexy, glamorous, tempestuous, fragile, always trailing courtiers, media and fans. She wasn't above playing to that image -- she had a fragrance called "White Diamonds" -- or mocking it.

"I am a very committed wife," she once said. "And I should be committed too -- for being married so many times."

It's sad that my only memory of Elizabeth is that of a frail old woman being pushed around in a wheelchair. While downloading some pics of her this morning, it struck me just how beautiful she was. I can almost guarantee you that pervert John Mayer is working on some kind of time machine right now so he can travel back to 1952, get her drunk, and sing some gay song to her.

*5 Elizabeth Taylor pictures total in the gallery: