Elisabetta Canalis

Elisabetta Canalis leaving CVS in West Hollywood (2/10)

One of the more annoying things about being famous is that you always have to look your best. It's constant pressure. From a morning trip to Starbucks, to a late night sushi run, our superficial society demands that movie stars always looks like movie stars. Or you can be George Clooney's ex Elisabetta Canalis and just say fuck it.

*5 Elisabetta Canalis pictures total in the gallery:

Elisabetta Canalis ain't bad

Elisabetta Canalis was polite enough to tweet a bikini pic of her ridiculous body last week. She wrote:

summer memories ! #fun

I still can't believe that 1. George Clooney actually dumped that body, and 2. Steve-O is actually having sex with that body. The only way this makes sense is if she has a secret cock. Hi Jamie Lee Curits!

*5 Elisabetta Canalis pictures total in the gallery:

Elisabetta Canalis at the premiere of Hit & Run at Regal Cinemas L.A. Live in Downtown L.A. (8/14)

Confirming the rumor that they're back together, Elisabetta Canalis and Steve-O attended the premiere of Hit & Run on Tuesday night. Ouch, how embarrassing. "Back together" and "Steve-O" -- I'd rather someone write a story about me that included the words "raped in the prison yard" and "again."

*20 Elisabetta Canalis pictures total in the gallery:

Elisabetta Canalis leaving Bristol Farms in West Hollywood (6/8)

George Clooney's ex Elisabetta Canalis is back with her ex Steve-O -- she was spotted kissing him in Costa Rica last week. Aw, how romantically embarrassing. From Contact Music:

The Italian model/actress was photographed surfing at the beach with the Jackass star, and they even shared a passionate clinch on the sand during their romantic getaway. Their reunion comes just one month after the brunette beauty admitted she still had feelings for Steve-O, telling Italian magazine A, "Steve has a lot of strength and humour. It was one of the most important relationships of my life and it doesn't feel as if it is over yet."

"Steve has a lot of strength and humor" . . . I'll assume that airhead Elisabetta means Steve-O has physical strength, because I don't look at this particular jackass as any sort of pillar of willpower or moral character -- the man can be talked into anything, and when I say anything, I mean ANYTHING. Elisabetta would be better served if she started dating Ryan Dunn -- now that's a guy with a future in front of him, at least compared to Steve-O.

BTW, this is what I mean by "anything":



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Elisabetta Canalis in Sardinia, Italy (7/4)

After being dumped by George Clooney and then Steve-O (seriously), Elisabetta Canalis has apparently rebounded with Lenny Kravitz. Good for his penis. From the Daily Mail:

Singer Lenny Kravitz has found a new girlfriend Italian actress and model Elisabetta Canalis. A former girlfriend of George Clooney, Elisabetta, was watching in the wings as the 48-year-old rocker headlined the final day of the 123 Festival in Ibiza last week.

"Lenny and Elisabetta arrived together and were seen looking cosy in the VIP area," says an insider at the Ocean Beach Club. "They seemed to be getting on really well and they doubled up with Naomi Campbell and boyfriend Vladimir Doronin."

I'm gonna suggest another, alternate theory here. Maybe Lenny was hanging out with Elisabetta -- not because he wants her to be his girlfriend -- but because he really wanted to get laid. I know, right? Shocking. Like Newton's Theory of Gravitation in 1687.

*15 Elisabetta Canalis bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Elisabetta Canalis at the Hotel du Cap-Eden Roc in Antibes, France (5/16)

It came as a pretty big shock when Elisabetta Canalis -- who, mind you, used to date George Clooney -- began dating Jackass star Steve-O earlier this year. The couple was even seen in public kissing and holding hands, so it wasn't just a rumor. Even more shocking was when Steve-O dumped Elisabetta after just a few months of dating, and not the other way around. "Please, please, please give me another chance," Elisabetta tells the new issue of Italian magazine A (via Us Weekly):

"He is an open wound," the former Dancing With the Stars contestant shares. "He was in a fragile state, and I came into his life like a tractor."

Though she did her best to stand by the Jackass star, 37, by attending support group meetings with him, her lifestyle provided too many temptations for the recovering drug addict.

"If we went out with my friends, even the fact that a bottle of wine was on the table would be a stress ... Steve has a lot of strength and humor. It was one of the most important relationships of my life and it doesn't feel as if it is over yet."

Lizzie, it's over. What I'm about to say is gonna be painful and embarrassing, but I think in the long run, it will make you a better person: Elisabetta, you're not good enough for Stephen Gilchrist Glover (better known as Steve-O; even better known as the guy who stapled his nuts to his own leg). Yeah, that guy. The guy who has absolutely no ability to gauge the danger he puts himself into decided that the only way he can have a healthy and happy life is if you're not in it. It's time to move on. Since Steve-O is finished with you, maybe you can latch onto some other lame MTV star from yesteryear? I'm sure Pauly Shore needs an assistant, since he's busy not being relevant in any way whatsoever. Or what about Ryan Dunn? Haven't heard from that guy in a while . . .

*21 Elisabetta Canalis bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Sacha Baron Cohen and Elisabetta Canalis on a yacht anchored in front of the Hotel Du Cap Eden Roc in Antibes, France (5/16)

As part of a publicity stunt to promote his new movie The Dictator, Sasha Baron Cohen dressed up as General Aladeen today at the Cannes Film Festival and had a gay ol' time with Elisabetta Canalis aboard a yacht. Great fun was had. Cocks were seen. And then the two got into a fight and General Aladeen dumped Elisabetta's body off the side of a yacht in a trash bag. Which must have been a shock to her. I'm not even sure she knew this was a publicity stunt. Hell, she went from relaxing at George Clooney's villa to sleeping on Steve-O's couch. Going from Steve-O to a rich, murderous dictator is hardly a stretch. Especially when your rent is due.

*36 Elisabetta Canalis bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Elisabetta Canalis and Steve-O in Rome (2/18)

Apparently George Clooney's ex Elisabetta Canalis really is serious about Steve-O. The two were spotted making out a few weeks ago and everyone assumed it was some bizarre practical joke. But no, there's the two of them holding hands in Rome over the weekend. On Saturday night, they had dinner at the same place George took Elisabetta to last year, Shinto sushi restaurant. Elisabetta had the yellowtail sashimi and the spicy tuna roll (a Shinto specialty) while Steve-O licked peanut butter off a stray dog's balls and had the waiter slap him across the face with a whole salmon. I mean, probably.

*15 Elisabetta Canalis and Steve-O pictures total in the gallery:

Elisabetta Canalis bikini pics!

In a desperate bid to stay relevant, Elisabetta Canalis -- who was dumped by George Clooney earlier this year and kicked off Dancing with the Stars a few weeks ago -- tweeted some bikini pics of herself earlier this week. Decent effort. Oh Oh -- you know what would be an even better way to stay relevant? She should star in a 'movie'-type thing that's seen by millions and millions of people, increasing her popularity across the country. I'm fucking brilliant!

*7 Elisabetta Canalis pictures total in the gallery:

Elisabetta Canalis leaving a dance studio in Hollywood after rehearsing for Dancing with the Stars (9/2)

I'm beginning to think George Clooney broke up with Elisabetta Canalis, not because he was fed up with her, but because he wanted to give a huge middle finger to all the horny guys in America. I mean, crap, look how skinny this bitch is. Clooney dumping her was basically his figurative way of whipping out his dick to show everyone how big it is. I'm afraid if I ever see him in public, I'll be forced to punch him in the face.

*25 Elisabetta Canalis pictures total in the gallery: