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Elisabeth Hasselbeck in Fitness magazine

View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the covergirl for June's Fitness magazine. From the mag's behind-the-scenes article about the photoshoot:

Elisabeth was all smiles backstage as she talked about her kids, calling being a mom of two her "proudest achievement." She joked about the nasty bruise on her leg she'd received that morning, just minutes before leaving for our shoot, when she'd banged her leg racing to the bathtub when she'd heard her daughter yelling "Mommy!" as she prepared to leave. Turns out her little girl just wanted to show Elisabeth that she could swim like a mermaid. (Source)

Yeah, right, "bathtub," likely story. Just admit your husband hits you Elisabeth. It'll make the healing easier.

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Elisabeth Hasselbeck pics

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Elisabeth Hasselbeck helping launch the "Wireless Amber Alerts Campaign" at Madison Square Park Playgrounds in New York City

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Donald Trump gave a press conference yesterday and tore View cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck a new asshole calling her the "dumbest person on television." Still no word on why Trump held the press conference in a wind tunnel.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck has large boobs

The View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck is pissed that an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit had a character named Elizabeth Hassenback. What especially angered her was that Hassenback was raped TWICE and killed:

Hasselbeck said that after hearing about the show from a friend, she called an SVU executive producer whom she declined to name - though co-host Rosie O'Donnell chimed in, "But you can Google it at home!" - to express her anger. "I told him 'Look, I want to let you know that I think it's socially irresponsible and gruesomely suggestive to do this in today's day and age," said Hasselbeck, who has an 18-month daughter, Grace, with her husband, New York Giants quarterback Tim Hasselbeck.

I can't make up my mind with this chick. She's hot as hell and I would love to bang her, yet she seems like the type of uptight bitch who'd get "offended" if I wanted a little ass-play. I would be thrilled to death to be on Law & Order, even if it was only in the context of someone using my name. Hell, if I got caught on one of those Dateline NBC child molester stings, I'd probably throw a viewing party for my family.

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Rosie O'Donnell is already clashing with The View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck:

The transition from Star Jones to Rosie O'Donnell hasn't been easy at "The View," especially not for Elisabeth Hasselbeck. "She is crying every day," an insider tells us. "No one can control Rosie, and Elisabeth can't contain her feelings. She gets so upset all the time." Some on-set sources think that Rosie's outwardly liberal views have been upsetting the show's conservative voice. O'Donnell's spokeswoman denied there have been any tears, and said, "Elisabeth was at Rosie's house this weekend with her daughter, Grace. They might not agree on politics, but that's what makes the show great. Ratings are up 59%."

Rosie O'Donnell reminds me of one of the skinny models who's always eating but never gaining weight. Of course by "skinny model" I mean "anthropomorphic hippopotamus: and by "always eating but never gaining weight" I mean "makes you gain weight just by listening to her voice."

Try reading the first sentence of that article again. I can't get past the part that says "transition from Star Jones to Rosie O'Donnell" because my computer keep crashing. Or maybe that's just my penis. Yep, definitely my penis.