Elin Nordegren


Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, August 21

Elin Nordegren getting coffee in Jupiter, Florida (pics start here)

Reality star Jillian Michaels (The Biggest Loser) taking her daughter to the park in Malibu (pics start here)

Lady Gaga out and about in New York (pics start here)

Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane leaving lunch in Malibu (pics start here)

AnnaSophia Robb on the set of The Carrie Diaries in New York (pics start here)

Busy Philipps exercising in Hollywood (pics start here)

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley shopping in London, England (pics start here)

Gisele Bundchen arriving at the gym in Boston (pics start here)

Kimberly Stewart going to the gym in Studio City (pics start here)

Heidi Klum out and about in New York (pics start here)

Kirsten Dunst leaving a gym in Studio City (pics start here)

Kaley Cuoco out and about in Studio City (pics start here)

*102 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Elin Nordegren Still Looking Hot 1
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Tiger wants back with Elin

I don't know where in the hell this came from, but Tiger Woods wants to get back with his ex-wife Elin Nordegren, and he's ready to sign a pre-nup that would give her $300+ million if he cheated. Wait, what? Is her vagina made of candy or something? From The Sun:
A source told [The National Enquirer]: "Tiger didn't even balk at the demand. Even though his accountants think he's crazy, he's ready to sign the pre-nup and set a wedding date. The guy has never recovered from being dumped by Elin. He's dated a lot of models and bimbos but none of them were more than a one-night stand."

But the Enquirer claims Woods got down on one knee to pop the question at Christmas and even presented Elin with a ring.

It also reported the couple are being intimate again, with a source claiming: "Tiger stopped by Elin's rental house one afternoon when their kids were out with a nanny and they had sex for the first time since the split. It took them both by surprise but they've continued to find alone time when they're both at their homes in Florida."
This is definitely risky for Elin. On the one hand, it's nice to have a $300 million insurance policy against your husband cheating. On the other, after the whole cheating scandal, now everyone knows that Tiger Woods is a sexual freak, so, you know, she better prepare herself to get done up the butt.

*10 Elin Nordegren pictures total in the gallery:

  • Elin Nordegren Back With Tiger 1
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Elin Nordegren at Walt Disney World in Orlando (6/14)

The good news: Tiger Woods' ex-wife Elin Nordegren is dating again. The bad news: She's dating a dude who only has one degree of separation to Tiger's penis. Whoopsy! Via TMZ:
We told you yesterday ... Tiger Woods ex-wife is dating marketing exec Jamie Dingman, whose dad is a billionaire tycoon. But before Elin, sources tell TMZ Jamie and Rachel were an item -- and there was a little bit of an overlap with Jamie and Tiger, but Jamie bowed out to the golfer.

In fact, when Rachael got serious with Tiger, Jamie joked with her, "That ok. I'll date his wife, Elin."

And get this ... at the time the Tiger Woods scandal broke, Jamie was living with Rachel in a Miami home.
Of course Elin is dating someone who used to date one of Tiger's whores. Hell, my mom is dating someone who used to date one of Tiger's whores. There's, like, six people on earth who don't have a connection in some way to a chick Tiger Woods banged, and they've all been on a spiritual journey in Tibet for the past ten years. "Tiger Woods, that golfer from Stanford? Whatever happened with that kid?"

*6 Elin Nordegren pictures total in the gallery:

  • Elin Nordegren New Boyfriend 1
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Tiger Woods' yacht 'Privacy'

In the market for a new boat? Tiger Woods is selling the yacht he bought his wife Elin for a wedding present back in 2004. And yes, the semen stains are included for no additional charge. From the Palm Beach Post:
“[Elin] didn’t want it because the upkeep is incredibly expensive,” the source said.

With a permanent crew of 13, Privacy costs more than $2 million a year to maintain.

Privacy is now back at its home-port in North Palm Beach’s Old Port Cove, and Woods is shopping for a broker to list it for $25 million. While Woods bought the ship for $20 million, he believes it appreciated in value because it’s been well taken care of.
I can totally relate to Elin when it comes to turning down something worth millions of dollars. As it turns out, just last week I refused a once in a lifetime offer of $15 million that was emailed to me from a high powered barrister in Nigeria. Why? Because I wasn't born yesterday didn't have the $300 he asked for to have the money sent to me. Oh well, I guess that's how the rich get richer and us dumb folk stay poor.

*10 Tiger Woods yacht pictures total in the gallery:

  • Tiger Woods Privacy Yacht 1
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Tiger Woods divorces Elin Nordegren

Tiger Woods' divorce to Elin Nordegren became official today. Oh really? I didn't even know they were having problems. From ESPN:
The lawyers for Woods and Elin Nordegren said in a statement that the divorce became official Monday in Bay County Circuit Court. Terms of the divorce were not disclosed, except that they will share parenting of their two children, ages 3 and 1.

"We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future," the two said in a statement released by McGuireWoods, the law firm representing Nordegren. "While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us."
Tiger marrying Elin might go down as one of the biggest blunders of all time. Think about it -- he could have been a richer version of Derek Jeter, fighting off blowjobs the way Jon Gosselin fights off bill collectors. But no, he just had to go and get married. Tiger could have covered his forehead in a giant swastika tattoo and it still wouldn't have been a worse decision than that.

*10 photos total in the gallery:

  • Tiger Woods Divorce Official 1
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Tiger Woods' wife Elin wants their new house

You cheat on your wife with only 27 different whores and suddenly she turns into this, like, mega bitch determined to bleed you dry. I mean, geesh, Elin needs to lighten up! From the Chicago Sun Times:
As part of the divorce negotiations between Tiger and Elin Woods, the $80 million oceanfront estate the golf star has been building on Florida's Jupiter Island apparently will be turned over to Elin. A source who has been inside the nearly finished house tells me the contractor is making last-minute changes to "feminize" the mansion, now that Tiger will only be an occasional visitor -- when he visits his kids.

"But as an avid athlete herself, Elin is making no changes to the amazing gym and oxygen therapy room Tiger demanded be built," said the source.
For those of you wondering how to "feminize" an $80 million mansion, it's actually pretty simple: you make the kitchen the size of a football field. Sorry, that was just wrong. In all seriousness though, you buy a washer and dryer that runs on nagging. I keed, I keed. What you actually do is soundproof the windows . . . so the neighbors don't complain about your late-night vacuuming. Get it? Get it? It's funny because women like to clean! Hello? *tap tap tap* Is thing on?

*26 pics total in the gallery:

  • Tiger Woods Losing House 1
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Jim Carrey blasts Tiger Woods' wife

Apparently feeling that not enough women hate him, Jim Carrey came to Tiger Woods' defense this weekend on Twitter, basically calling his wife Elin a whore who had her head buried in the sand:
Tiger Woods owes nothing 2 anyone but himself. 2 please his father he gave up his childhood and his freedom in the world. That's enough!--->    
10:06 AM Apr 9th via web

No wife is blind enough to miss that much infidelity. Elin had 2 b a willing participant on the ride 4 whatever reason. kids/lifestyle ;^)    
12:12 PM Apr 9th via web
And in response to @eyssogreen's comment: "Who r u to attack Tiger Wood's innocent wife Elin? YOU CREEP!!Jenny mightve been INTO SEX groups. Elin was home w. her babes"):
@eyssogreen That's a cop out Gail. No woman just stays at home with the kids anymore. Tiger was wrong and Elin was ignoring the obvious ;^)    
8:03 AM Apr 10th via web
Is it possible -- even probable -- that Jim's actually right? If you consider how many skanks Tiger was sleeping with, Elin had to have known something was going on. Sure, she might have been able to overlook the lipstick on Tiger's collar or the hickeys on his penis, but no woman can ignore the scent of another woman. Case in point: I can smell Rachel Uchitel from here.

*12 pics total in the gallery:

  • Thumbnail: Jim Carrey Tiger Woods Comments 1
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Tiger Woods pays off another one of his whores

Yesterday RadarOnline reported that Tiger Woods' wife Elin decided to call off the divorce after visiting him last week at sex rehab in Mississippi. I'm guessing Elin made that decision before hearing about Tiger's newest hush money payout to his British mistress. "Tiger honey, where did the $500,000 I had in my checking account go?" From the Daily Mail:
A British woman named as Tiger Woods' 19th mistress was paid $500,000 hush money to keep quiet about their affair, it was alleged yesterday. Emma Rotherham, 42, is said to have gone 'absolutely ballistic' after details of the 18-month fling emerged at the weekend. It is claimed the mother-of-two agreed to sign a confidentiality agreement after a member of the golfer's security team handed her a sports bag stuffed with half-a-million dollars in $100 bills. But she is said to have refused to hand over her mobile phone containing incriminating evidence.

A source told the News of the World: "Emma was his most recent mistress. They had a very, very passionate relationship and she has dozens of text messages and emails from him. Some were even sent while Tiger was trying to patch things up with his wife. If those came out, they'd bury him."

Miss Rotherham could also face a tax probe over the alleged £310,000 pay-off as under U.S. law, gifts of large amounts of cash must be declared in the same way as Woods, who is undergoing therapy at a sex addiction clinic in Mississippi, could also face an inquiry unless he makes a declaration to the Internal Revenue Service.

Former federal tax inspector Jesse Walburn said: "Any large financial gift must be declared to the IRS otherwise it will be dealt with as tax evasion. This is a very high profile case, so I suspect when this woman files her tax return this year, they will be looking out for any large donation from an outside source. Failure to declare this money would be considered an offence. The same applies to the person who made the donation."
At this point, what's most surprising about this story isn't the fact that Tiger paid off a 19th mistress to keep their affair quiet . . . it's that he was banging a chick in her 40s. Now I'm no ageist, but if I was a horny young billionaire, I'd have a few basic requirements for the women in my harem: "1. You must be breathing, 2. You must not laugh when I pull my pants down (that rules out you, Jenny), and 3. You must have less wrinkles on your face than I have on my balls."

I actually pulled that straight from my Match.com profile. CatLover19 if you're interested, ladies.

  • Thumbnail: Tiger Woods Payoff Money 1
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Tiger Woods is addicted to love . . . administered to him via the mouth

You knew it was only a matter of time. Tiger Woods is going to sex rehab. Of course he is. From the National Enquirer:
In a last-ditch effort to save his marriage, a shell-shocked Tiger Woods will check into rehab to seek treatment for his sexual compulsions and prescription drug use, insiders have told The Enquirer exclusively. The disgraced golfing great agreed to get help at an Arizona clinic after spending the Christmas holiday with his family, say sources. The serial cheater's decision to get therapy is part of a deal struck with his stunning wife Elin to persuade her not to dump him.

"Elin gave Tiger an ultimatum -- seek treatment or forget all about winning her back," revealed an insider. "Rehab is at the top of the list of things he must do. Tiger will be going into rehab in early January to treat his sexual compulsion and his use of the drugs Ambien and Vicodin."
Claiming he has to go to rehab to curb his "sexual compulsions" is a complete cop-out. Every guy on earth is a total horn dog. EVERY. GUY. Even Richard Simmons. But unlike Tiger, most dudes aren't billionaires that have the luxury of traveling around the globe sampling the local vagina in every city. The rest of us common folk are relegated to doing what even our Forefathers did whenever they felt the "urge" . . . blow our paycheck at the strip club! It was just a little different back during Washington and Jefferson's time. "Oh yeah baby, show me some of that ankle!"

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Tiger Woods' yacht "Privacy" docked in North Palm Beach (12/15)

Tiger Woods has been kicked out of the bedroom and forced to sleep on the couch. Except in this case, his couch is a 155-foot megayacht. From the Chicago Sun Times:
Woods is currently living on his luxury yacht, ironically called ''Privacy.'' His estranged wife is living on their Windermere, Fla., property, but reportedly is sleeping in the guest house -- still creeped out after learning her husband supposedly had sex with one and possibly two women in the couple's house, though not in their bedroom.
Oh yeah, great idea. The guy whose penis has more miles on it than the the Space Shuttle Endeavour -- give that guy as much privacy as possible. If Elin's serious about saving her marriage, she would lock Tiger in the bathroom or keep him in a cage hanging in the kitchen. But, my god, don't forget to give him water. You're gonna want to trust me on that one Elin.

  • Thumbnail: Tiger Woods Yacht Hideaway 1
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Would You Rather?

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