Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green out and about in L.A. (6/23)
Even though they're
supposed to be broken up, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green were spotted getting coffee together this morning. Shortly after this pic was taken, a herd of golden unicorns ran by the couple and then flew off into the sky. A bystander commented, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT . . . did you see that dork with Megan Fox?!"
NSFW!
Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.
Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo out and about in Hollywood (4/11)
Jessica Simpson is great at gift-giving. She bought her boyfriend Tony Romo a freaking boat. Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have spurned her advances last year! From the
National Enquirer via the
San Francisco Chronicle:
Jessica Simpson gave boyfriend Tony Romo a nautical 28th birthday last month -- she treated the football star to a $100,000 speedboat. The singer unveiled the gift at a special party at the pair's Dallas, Texas, home, reports the National Enquirer. And the Dallas Cowboys quarterback was delighted with the custom-made gift.
A source tells the tabloid, "Jessica knows that Tony has always wanted a boat. (She's) hoping that her birthday gift will lead to marriage, and by this time next year she'll be walking down the aisle with him."
Giving a guy an unexpected present is all it takes to get him to walk you down the aisle? Tell that to Jamie Lynn Spears' uterus. Obviously Jessica hasn't learned the most valuable lesson there is about relationships: you can't buy a man's love, you have to earn it . . . with BJs. Lots and lots of BJs. The second most important lesson: shhhhhhhhhhh.
Hayden Panettiere arriving to a studio in Hollywood (6/2)
If an NFL team took a chance and signed Hayden Panettiere to a contract for next season, how many yards does she rush for? 1500? 2000? My god, look at that lower body. That thing was built for breaking tackles. She looks like one of those freestanding punching bags that are filled with sand in the base. It must be impossible to knock her over.
by Dan the Celebman We can all get a little bitter when some fat Hollywood producer picks a no talent bimbo "a la Heidi" off the street and makes them a star just because their face sells product. But there's a good reason why the producer does that, and the following celebs are the reason why. Some have talent, some have looks, all of them are people you don't want to bump into in a dark alley, which is ironic, because at least 4 of them live in a dark alley.
NOTE: Make sure you click through the gallery for individual comments under each picture.
Britney Spears bikini pics! (Bahamas - 5/20)
Britney's dad really needs to tell her that though fishticks *technically* do come from the ocean, she really needs to go to the supermarket if she's having a craving. I don't want a repeat of this embarassing incident tomorrow.
NOTE: 100 more pics
on PAGE 2. Click away my minions mwahahahah.
Evangeline Lilly Evangeline Lilly at the premiere of
Vengeance at the Cannes Film Festival (5/17)
Eugenia Volodina
Don't doubt for a second that famous people -- no matter what they look like -- can pretty much bang whoever they want. Above is Eugenia Volodina, a 24-year-old Victoria's Secret model. Eugenia ran into 56-year-old Mickey Rouke at the Bijoux Lounge in New York on Tuesday night. And then started making out with him two seconds later. Just one Oscar nomination. That's all I'm asking for God. Pretty please? From the
Daily Mail:
It appears it was lust at first sight for the pair as she grabbed his thigh and he got her in a headlock before they started kissing passionately in front of their friends. The actor, who was sporting white highlights in his tousled hair, was in his element as he partied with a bevy of significantly younger models at the Bijoux Lounge in the Big Apple's Meatpacking district.
Observers of the sleazy scene were left to wonder exactly what was going on. Mickey was introduced to the Vogue cover girl Eugenie by KyKy Cornille, the owner of the Bijoux Lounge, a frequent celebrity haunt.
If Mickey wasn't famous, he would have been lucky to get the word "Mickey" out -- as in "Hi, I'm Mickey Rourke" -- before being pepper-sprayed. It really is amazing what being in movies can do for someone. I actually wrote a research paper about it when I was in college. I found that every Oscar nomination a man receives is equivalent to adding two inches to your penis and another pack to your abs. In a chick's mind, fucking someone like Jack Nicholson is basically like fucking Secretariat.
Brooke Hogan at her 21st birthday celebration at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas (5/5)
Linda Hogan was
persona non grata at Brooke Hogan's
21st birthday dinner last week at Spago restaurant in Las Vegas. Celebrating the occasion was Brooke's father Hulk, brother Nick, and boyfriend Stack$. Ouch Linda, that's gotta hurt. A dude with a dollar sign in his name was invited to the dinner and you weren't. A source told
Fox News:
"Linda was really, really hurt. But Brooke has sided with her father in all of this, she was adamant about not celebrating with her mom or extending an invitation."
Following dinner, Brooke partied with (and couldn’t keep her hands off) her beau inside PURE nightclub while typically protective Hulk looked on disapprovingly.
I'd hate to be in Brooke's position here, having to choose between feuding parents. On one side you have the Hulk, a dude who's dating basically
a slightly older version of you. On the other side you have Linda, a woman who's dating basically
a slightly taller version of your brother. They're both horrible, horrible people. It'd be like if you were playing basketball at the park and picking teams and the only two people left were Hitler and Pol Pot. I mean, obviously you'd pick Pol Pot because Hitler can't go to his left but I think you get my point.
Alec Baldwin eating lunch in Santa Monica (4/26)
See that
Britney? See what Alec is doing there? The handsfree kit lets you use both of your hands for cuttin', pokin', and shovelin', while still allowing you to do such things as order a pizza or call 411 to get directions to the nearest Baskin-Robbins. It's the type of veteran move you only see from an eater with millions of calories of experience.
