Editor's Picks

Eva Longoria's Cannes wardrobe malfunction

Eva Longoria suffered a pretty embarrassing wardrobe malfunction while arriving to the premiere of Jimmy P. at the Cannes Film Festival on Saturday night. Pretty embarrassing because she's not wearing underwear and, let's see, how best to put this . . . let's just say I'm pretty sure that Eva Longoria is not currently pregnant, if you catch my drift. All together now: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

NOTE: To see the uncensored Eva Longoria wardrobe malfunction pics, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*30 Eva Longoria pictures total in the gallery:

Rachel Bilson in Barbados (4/16)

Rachel Bilson is currently on vacation in Barbados with boyfriend Hayden Christensen, and yesterday she was sportin' a nice little sunburn. Poor little thing. I bet Rachel wanted to bring sunscreen, but Hayden made her leave it at home because he's so domineering. What a jerk he is, Rachel. I heard a rumor that he likes to jump homeless people in the middle of the night and steal their shoes. Their old, ratty shoes! It's just shocking. Call me, baby.

*59 Rachel Bilson bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Alba bikini pics! (St. Barts - 4/4)

Some people would say it's creepy that I'm posting 177 pictures of Jessica Alba in St. Barts in a bikini, organized by day. And those people would be wrong. Creepy would be printing these pictures out and scrapbooking them into a kick-ass vacation photo album, complete with glitter and stickers and little crabs and seashells cut out of construction paper. I'm getting to that later.

Jessica Alba in St. Barts:
Thursday's bikini
Friday's bikini
Saturday's bikini
Sunday's bikini

*177 Jessica Alba bikini pics total in the gallery:

Hayden Panettiere showing off her breast implants in Miami (3/31)

Remember the rumor from back in 2010 that Hayden Panettiere allegedly got a boob job, going from an A cup to a C cup? Well, judging by these pics of her yesterday in Miami, I don't think we have to say "allegedly" anymore. Look, I appreciate the effort by Hayden, but maybe not the best idea asking Tori Spelling for the name of her plastic surgeon.

*46 Hayden Panettiere boob job pictures total in the gallery:

Kate Beckinsale in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (3/30)

Kate Beckinsale attempted the famous Jessica Alba bikini pose over the weekend while vacationing in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Was she successful? I don't know -- I'll let you know after I stare at this picture for much, much longer.

UPDATE: The paparazzo who took these pictures has just been granted sainthood by the Catholic Church. I guess it's that easy down there.

*30 Kate Beckinsale pictures total in the gallery:

Justin Bieber arriving back at his hotel in London (2/28)

Justin Bieber made an astounding $6,200/hour last year, which still isn't enough to buy the physique of an adult man. From Parade:

It's no surprise that celebrities make a whole lot more than the Average Joe and Jane. But how much more? According to Parade's "What People Earn" issue, a lot more. Justin Bieber pulled in a staggering $55 million in 2012. The sum includes album sales, touring and two women's fragrances. This means the teen superstar made $6,261 an hour last year.

You know what? I'm gonna be OK. Last year, the old me would have become so enraged by Justin's success that I would have punched an old lady in the throat. Today? Not so much. Thanks to groups like One Direction, Justin's time in the sun is just about over -- and he knows it. Haven't you noticed the uptick in JB freak-out stories? I sure have. The little kid is panicking because 13-year-old girls aren't defending his lack of talent or furiously masturbating to him with the same fervor anymore. I hope Justin saved his money, because I have a feeling that he's only one bad concert tour and resulting coke addiction away from punching a time card at a Toronto fish cannery.

*10 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

"Megan Fox lookalike" Shaniece Nesbitt

That kid from One Direction went from whiny-ass Taylor Swift to a Megan Fox lookalike who likes to party. Well-played, kid. Well-played. From The Sun:

Harry Styles has a new girl -- who he picked out at a gig for being a "Megan Fox lookalike". Shaniece Nesbitt, 18, from Belfast, was singled out by the singer while he was on stage at the city's Odyssey Arena. He sent lackeys into a mob of shrieking fans to get her number while he was still performing and then rang her later to arrange a meeting. Harry, 19, and Shaniece then hung out at the five-star Culloden hotel until 5am on Friday -- until she passed out drunk on a sofa.

A source said: "There were about six people partying with Harry and Shaniece back at the hotel but he only had eyes for her. He was fixated on the fact she looked like Megan Fox and they spent hours flirting. She didn't go up to his room or sleep with him that night but Harry has kept in touch since and been texting her."

Lord have mercy on our souls and wrists, Harry is having a run of good luck for the ages. Songs will be sung and stories will be told of this era. In a few short years, Harry has managed to bring back the popularity of boy bands, survived Taylor Swift's smothering ways, and hooked up with a Megan Fox lookalike . . . who actually smiles . . . and who clearly has a severe drinking problem. Awesome. I can't bash a kid with a record like that. I'd sooner give the Mona Lisa a dirty sanchez than give Harry Styles a bad review right now.

*6 Shaniece Nesbitt pictures total in the gallery:

Selena Gomez

Selena Gomez at the SXSW festival in Austin (3/11)

*20 Selena Gomez pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Love Hewitt in The Client List

Jennifer Love Hewitt still thinks this is 1997 and I Know What You Did Last Summer was just released, because she told USA Today that she thinks her boobs are worth $5 million. Via the Daily Mail:

"I need, like, an insurance invitation," the amply-charmed 34-year-old said in a USA Today video. "If somebody was like, 'Hey, you know what? We would like to insure your boobs for $2.5 million dollars,' I'd be like, 'Do it. Love it! Why not?' These things right here are worth $5 million!"

Oh boy, this is awkward. Look, Jennifer is fighting the good fight, but she peaked years ago. She's closer to 43 than 23. Is her rack nice? Well, sure it is . . . for a midday stripper who hasn't seen a Saturday night shift in months. $5 million insurance for those knockers is a bit excessive, even though the girls are holding up well. Jennifer should consider it a blessing that she even has breasts, unlike that North Korean rabble-rouser Lucy Liu. Boooo! Get out of our country, you breastless troublemaker!

*15 Jennifer Love Hewitt boobs pictures total in the gallery:

Alessandra Ambrosio at a photoshoot in Malibu (3/11)

I know I may sound like a broken record at this point, but here's Alessandra Ambrosio looking pretty damn incredible at a photoshoot in Malibu yesterday. The theme of the photoshoot was "Chicks I Really Want to Fuck." I mean, presumably. Photoshoots have themes, right?

*32 Alessandra Ambrosio pictures total in the gallery: