If you think I'm so lacking in professionalism that I'm gonna mail things in just because the week between Christmas and New Year's is dead . . . you're exactly right. Enjoy a recap of the year that was in wardrobe malfunctions. I'm off to play some golf. Because I can do that in December. San Diego: Seriously, why the fuck don't you live here?
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NOTE: To see the uncensored wardrobe malfunction pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.
*30 pictures total in the gallery:
Brazilian supermodel Izabel Goulart headlines the latest roundup of the sexiest social media pics of the week. This is completely normal for her. I could post a full gallery every week of just ridiculously hot pics from her Instagram page. If posting hot Instagram pics was the equivalent of being a hero in the Xinhai Revolution of 1911-1912, Izabel would be Huang Xing. Am I right or am I right!
*43 social media pictures total in the gallery:
Jennifer Lopez at the 2014 People Magazine Awards at The Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills (12/18)
Here's Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Lopez's tits at last night's People Magazine Awards in Beverly Hills ("Where Celebrities Give Awards to Celebrities for Being Celebrities"). Originally her assistant was supposed to be shining a giant spotlight on her all night, but his arms got tired carrying the generator. Pussy.
*30 Jennifer Lopez pictures total in the gallery:
Eva Longoria bikini pics! (Miami - 12/6)
Here's Eva Longoria on vacation in Miami on Saturday. Dammit, I was gonna do this really long, thought-provoking post on post-modern race relations in the United Sates, but then Eva's ass had to go and eat her bikini. Had to post the pics. Forced my hand.
*30 Eva Longoria bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus rehearsing at the Raleigh Hotel in Miami (12/3)
Now that Miley Cyrus is dating Patrick Schwarzenegger, it's more fun to think of her not as Miley Cyrus, but as the potential future daughter-in-law of the former governor of California. *giggles*
*25 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Demi Lovato in bed with Wiler Valderrama
Back in August, Celebslam was approached to buy some Demi Lovato nude pics. We obviously turned the seller down because it's, well, Demi Lovato, not Christina Hendricks. Obviously nobody else struck a deal with him, because more pics were leaked late last week. And they're just as underwhelming as you'd expect. I don't know, maybe I'm just spoiled because the first leaked nudes I ever saw were Vanessa Hudgens'. Hard to top those. It's like losing your virginity to anybody. One day . . . it's gonna happen.
NOTE: To see the uncensored Demi Lovato nude pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.
*20 Demi Lovato nude pictures total in the gallery:
Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow in Paris last April
It's been strongly-suggested for years that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had an open marriage, and the two have had their share of rumored affairs -- Gwyneth with Fontainebleau hotel owner Jeff Soffer, entertainment lawyer Kevin Yorn, and [INSERT NAME HERE]; and Chris with Alexa Chung, Kate Bosworth, and now according to the New York Post, an assistant for Saturday Night Live:
NBC staff have been buzzing about an affair Martin had after appearing as the musical guest on "Saturday Night Live" in 2011 with Coldplay. One source tells us the girl in question was an assistant on the show, while another NBC source explained, "He had an affair with a woman who was backstage and was part of an entourage. Everyone was talking about it because he was openly flirting with her at one of the show after-parties."You can't blame a guy married to Gwyneth Paltrow for having an affair with a lowly assistant. Maybe he just wanted to go out to dinner with somebody who wouldn't spend 40 minutes annoying the waiter with questions about the water. "Is this from an aquifer or a spring? Is this sustainable? Is the pH over 7? Because I refuse to drink anything less. What month was this harvested? Is that pitcher BPA free? Can you send over the water sommelier please?"
*10 Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin pictures total in the gallery: