DUI

Thomas Gibson at the CBS 2012 Fall Premiere Party at Greystone Manor in West Hollywood (9/18)

Thomas Gibson, who stars on the CBS show Criminal Minds, was arrested for DUI over the weekend in L.A. Did he take a pay cut or something? Weird that he can't afford a cab . . . From TMZ:

Cops believe an intoxicated Gibson tried to drive his Audi SUV through a part of downtown L.A. that had been sectioned off for a nighttime half-marathon around 1 AM on Sunday morning. The footage begins with Gibson standing next to his car speaking with police ... when a bike cop arrives to the scene and screams for the actor to, "Get on the ground, NOW!"

At that point, all of the officers on scene rush toward Gibson and manhandle him to the ground as he yells, "Why?! Why!?" While Gibson is on the ground, he can be heard telling the cops, "I am NOT resisting ... I am NOT resisting!"

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I was driving home at 1 AM and got trapped in the middle of a marath-- the fuck?!? Why is there a god damn marathon in the middle of L.A. at 1 AM? That's drinkin' time. Make no mistake, if you were running a marathon at 1 AM and got hit by Thomas Gibson in an Audi, I would not shed a tear. In fact, I'd picket your funeral like those knuckle draggers at the Westboro Baptist Church. Turns out GOD HATES FAGS and PEOPLE WHO RUN MARATHONS AT 1 AM.

*10 Thomas Gibson pictures total in the gallery:

Joe Simpson is under arrest

Jessica Simpson's creepy old dad Joe was arrested for DUI last week in Sherman Oaks. There must have been a strike by cabbies or something. From TMZ:

We're told LAPD cops pulled Joe's car over around 10 PM ... and during the stop, officers got the feeling he was intoxicated and ultimately cuffed the famous pop and took him to the pokey. Joe was booked and spent the rest of the night behind bars. He was released without having to post bail at 9:41 the following day.

The case has not been sent over to prosecutors in the L.A. City Attorney's Office yet, but if criminal charges are filed, it's likely Joe will not get any jail time since it's his first offense.  He'll probably end up with a big fat fine -- something his daughter will have no problem paying.

Everyone who thought that the first time Joe Simpson would be arrested, it would be for DUI and not for a peephole he drilled in Jessica's bathroom, raise your hand . . . *looks around, sees no hands raised*

*10 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

Randy Travis' mug shot

Country singer Randy Travis was arrested last night for DUI in Texas after crashing into several barricades in a construction zone and then somehow ending up naked lying on the side of the road. It's not quite clear how he progressed from Point A to B on that one. From TMZ:

The Grayson County Sheriff's Office tells us officers received a call at 11:18 PM from a person who stated there was a man lying in the roadway.  When cops arrived to the scene, they noticed Travis' 1998 Pontiac Trans Am had driven off the road and slammed into several barricades in a construction zone.

Travis was initially arrested for DWI -- but once he was inside the cop car, officials say the singer threatened to "shoot and kill the Troopers working the case." As we previously reported, Travis was NAKED and rode bareback while he was being transported to the station.

DUI? Yeah, sure. Sounds like a very convenient excuse to arrest a guy that you're too afraid to race. Pussies. Randy and his '98 Trans Am will smoke your bitch asses.

Matthew Fox leaving his hotel in New York (4/26)

I didn't touch on this yesterday, but former Lost star Matthew Fox was arrested for DUI in Bend, Oregon on Friday. He was pulled over and arrested after an officer noticed him weaving in and out of a lane and failing to signal properly. He actually was going to take a cab home, but ultimately decided not to because he's a fucking idiot. Yup, that'll burn you every time.

*15 Matthew Fox pictures total in the gallery:

Miss USA busted for DUI

Former Miss USA Rima Fakih was busted for DUI over the weekend outside Detroit. Congratulations Rima: you made the mere act of being near Detroit somehow worse than it already is. Rima's attorney Doraid Elder told the Detroit Free Press:

[Elder] said he had been retained that night and had few details about the arrest but said Fakih’s record “has not a single blemish” and she was “very saddened and very apologetic for the situation that she is in right now.”

Highland Park police would not confirm the arrest, saying inquiries would be answered Monday by the chief or deputy chief.

Elder repeatedly referred to the charge as “allegations,” but also said “this shouldn’t be something that defines who she is,” adding it was “poor judgment” on her part.

About 5 p.m. Saturday, Fakih tweeted from her @OfficialRima Twitter account: “Let’s clear things up now.... I’m NOT in Michigan and I’m NOT in jail! Wrong Fakih.”

The tweet also appeared on Fakih’s Facebook page. The message was deleted from both accounts late Saturday.

So she's a drunk and a liar? Two fantastic qualities in a woman. If she liked to steal, too, she'd remind me exactly of my ex-girlfriend. I wonder if Rima also answers to the pet name "YOU STUPID WHORE"?

*46 Rima Fakih pictures total in the gallery:

Jaime Pressly arrested for DUI

Jaime Pressly was arrested for DUI last night in Santa Monica after being pulled over for a minor traffic violation. She was taken to the Santa Monica jail and held on $15,000 bail (which means her BAC was higher than .15). Dammit, I would have loved to be the cop that pulled her over. "Say Aflac. C'mon Jaime, just say it once. Aflac. If you say it, I promise I'll let you go. Aflac. Just one time!"

*5 Jaime Pressly pictures total in the gallery:

Vince Neil's mug shot

Here's Vince Neil's mug shot from his DUI arrest early this morning. That shirt is AWESOME. My grandma has had the same one covering her dining room window for 30 years.

Vince Neil arrest for DUI

Vince Neil got wasted at his Tres Rios Cantina in Las Vegas last night. But seriously man, it's cool, he's totally OK to drive. From TMZ:

TMZ has learned Mötley Crüe frontman Vince Neil  was arrested for suspicion of DUI this morning in Las Vegas. He is currently in custody in Clark County Jail, where his bail has been set at $2,000.

Wait a minute, I thought that was legal in Vegas? This doesn't make sense. If you're not allowed to drive after drinking half-a-bottle of tequila, how are you supposed to get rid of the hooker's body? That shallow grave out in the desert is not digging itself. And it's not like you can just call a cab. With the way fares have been rising lately, it's practically highway robbery.

*5 pics total in the gallery:

Chris Klein busted for DUI

Chris Klein -- most famous for being the guy who dated Katie Holmes when she was still hot and able to make decisions for herself -- was busted for DUI this morning after he was seen swerving on the 101 freeway in L.A. In Chris' defense, the 101 is a very tricky freeway to drive when your blood alcohol level is .20 -- THREE TIMES the legal limit. From TMZ:

Chris Klein could be headed to the slammer in the wake of this morning's DUI arrest -- all because the "American Pie" star has a history of driving drunk. Klein was arrested and convicted of DUI back in 2004 -- and because of that prior arrest, California law requires that he serve a minimum 4 days in jail if he's convicted of DUI again.

But that's not all -- there's a new law going into effect in July -- which would apply to Klein if he's found guilty after that date  -- that requires multiple DUI offenders to have an "ignition interlock system" installed in their vehicle if they wish to drive. The system is essentially a breathalyzer test that's synced up to the car -- and if he ain't sober, the car won't start.

TMZ has also learned Klein wasn't alone when he was popped early this morning -- there was a dog in his car that a friend retrieved after he was busted.

I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this. Chris was probably looking to get arrested so he could generate some publicity for the blockbuster he has coming out this summe -- LOL! -- I almost got that out without laughing. The only way this dude is getting near a huge film is if gets hired to clean the set.