Mel B at the Mayfair Bar in London (9/1)
Mel B got hammered Monday night/Tuesday morning at the Mayfair Bar in London. Must be nice being able to drink into the wee hours of a Tuesday morning. I normally stop around midnight on weekdays. But hey, I'm a new father. I got responsibilities. Did you know that after 15 or so beers, a newborn crying actually sounds like Mozart? Craziest thing.
Rumer Willis leaving Movida nightclub in London (8/27)
Rumer Willis had a bit too much to drink Thursday morning at Movida nightclub in London. How drunk was she? She was so drunk that she thought guys were actually hitting on her because of her looks. Seriously, what happened with this chick? She has hot parents. Shouldn't she at least look like a runway model with perfect tits and killer legs? Speaking of runway models with perfect tits and killer legs, was my date at 8 or 9 tonight?
Mickey Rourke leaving Stringfellows lap dancing club in London (8/27)
You know, I was all set to make fun of Mickey Rourke for acting like a drunken idiot Thursday morning after leaving Stringfellows lap dancing club in London. And then I saw his receipt for the night (
here).
*bows down in respect*
Mel Gibson leaving Nobu restaurant in Malibu (8/8)
Mel Gibson at around 8:30ish Saturday night at Nobu: "Can I get you a drink sir?" . . . "Sure, I'd like a gin & tonic. Thanks."
3 hours later: "Can I get you another drink sir?" . . . "GUHHHHHHHHHHHH."
Jessica Simpson leaving Katsuya restaurant in Hollywood (8/1)
At the "
Tony's An Asshole, I Never Liked Him Anyways Jessica, You Should Have Broken Up With Him Summit 2009" at Katsuya on Saturday night, Jessica Simpson partook in one too many sake bombs and basically had to be carried out by her sister Ashlee. At one point, her boob almost fell out (see
here and
here) so that was pretty cool. Elsewhere, some hot chick at a club in Dallas begged Tony Romo to let her blow him and he finally relented. Advantage: Tony.
Brad Pitt is drunk Brad Pitt
really enjoyed the after-party for the
Inglourious Basterds premiere in Berlin last night. I wonder if he drunk dials his exes like the rest of us do?
"Hello?"
"Jennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnifer."
"Dammit Brad, I told you to stop calling me like this."
"Jennifer. Jennnnnnn. Jennnnnnnny."
"What Brad?"
"Guess whose vagina I was in last night..."
*click*
Lady Gaga at the Sofitel Hotel in Hamburg, Germany (7/26)
I know what you're thinking: "Lady Gaga must have gotten so drunk that she stripped down to her underwear in the lobby of her hotel." No, she was dressed like that before she started drinking. Of course she was. We're talking about the same chick that wore a dress made of Kermit the Frog puppets last week. Tomorrow she could wear a jacket made out of the decaying corpses of former US Presidents that she dug out of the ground and I wouldn't be surprised. "Wow, Harry Truman looks great on you!"
Mickey Rourke leaving The Wellington Club in London (7/22)
Mickey Rourke got absolutely fucked up again last night in London. When he wasn't busy punching traffic barriers (for the
second straight night), he was stealing Jesus statues. He's playing a dangerous game there. You fuck with Jesus and you just might find yourself getting struck by lightning, potentially scarring and disfiguring your beautiful face . . . now that I think about it, go ahead and steal that statue Mickey. You really have nothing to worry about.
Mickey Rourke leaving The Wellington Club in London (7/21)
That's Mickey Rourke knocking out a traffic barrier last night as he was leaving The Wellington Club in London. In Mickey's defense, that barrier shouldn't have been so fucking orange.
Katie Price leaving Balans restaurant in London (7/19)
Before and after pictures -- one of the reasons I'm glad I'm not famous. Could you imagine waking up the morning after a night of heavy drinking and seeing these kinds of pics of yourself splashed across the internet? One pic you're smiling, anticipating a night of fun, the next you're running down the street butt naked wearing a sombrero and pink bow tie . . . or was it red? Either way, my original point stands: open bars at wedding receptions kick serious ass.
