Drunk Celebs

Whitney Houston is a hot mess

ORIGINAL POST (Friday, Feb. 10): Pacific Coast News says that's a wasted Whitney Houston leaving Tru Hollywood nightclub last night "appearing to have blood dripping down her leg and scratches on her wrist." I know, she's making me all hot, too. In related news, apparently you can now pay your bill with crack at Tru Hollywood nightclub. I had no clue!

UPDATE (Saturday, Feb. 11): Whitney Houston just died. Holy shit. These are some of the last pictures of her alive. No word on what killed her, but judging by these pictures, I think we can rule out a skateboarding accident. More on Monday . . .

*15 Whitney Houston pictures total in the gallery:

Guy Ritchie leaving The Punchbowl Pub in London (12/9)

The London premiere of Guy Ritchie's new film, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, was last week, and no surprise here considering how much he loves alcohol (see here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here), but he got absolutely hammered afterwards at his pub, The Punchbowl. I wonder if he drunk-dialed his ex-wife Madonna? "You're from Bay City, Michigan, you stupid cunt! Quit using a British accent!"

*15 Guy Ritchie pictures total in the gallery:

Goldie Hawn is wasted

Goldie Hawn had a bit too much to drink last night at Scott's restaurant in London. That's her above in the back of a taxi not remembering her name, what country she's in, or what year it is. Oh c'mon Goldie, you're being a little dramatic. I think you could have driven home.

*11 Goldie Hawn pictures total in the gallery:

Elle Macpherson is drunk

Elle Macpherson got hammered Wednesday night at C London restaurant in, you guessed it, London. In fact, she got so drunk that she actually laughed at Jay Leno's monologue on The Tonight Show. I know, right? This bitch must have been wasted!

*10 Elle Macpherson pictures total in the gallery:

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is drunk

Famous hyphenated supermodel Rosie Huntington-Whiteley had a bit too much to drink Saturday night at The Box nightclub in London. I get the same way after four wine coolers. My friends use to call me "Mr. Fuzzy Navel" in college . . . *flexes in mirror*

*11 Rosie Huntington-Whiteley pictures total in the gallery:

Dina Lohan is drunk

Did Lindsay Lohan's mom Dina get shitfaced last week at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills? Of course she did, silly. Quit judging. What else is a 48-year-old woman supposed to do with her free time? Work a steady job and take care of her four children? And just waste 40 whole hours a week? Yeah, right. You need to be more realistic.

*6 Dina Lohan pictures total in the gallery:

Lindsay Lohan is drunk

Aw crap, I guess the headline pic sorta gave it away. Yesterday TMZ said:

Lindsay Lohan is suffering from post-incarceration syndrome ... courtesy of her friendly, neighborhood paparazzi. Lindsay -- who is free to party in the outside world for the first time in more than a month -- is telling friends she's scared to leave home, largely because she thinks there's a bounty on her head in the paparazzi community. So LiLo is planning to do the same thing she's been doing for the last 35 nights -- chill out, relax, and put her feet up ... in peace and quiet, in the company of sister Ali and a few buds.

Well good thing she got over that fear, because there were some Red Bull & vodkas with her name on them over at Lexington Social House in Hollywood. That's Lindsay stumbling out of the club earlier this morning. Keep in mind that, just a week ago, she told Life & Style: "[Alcohol] is just not part of my life." Oh gosh, I wondered what happened in the past week that drove sober Lindsay to the bottle? I bet she's freaked out over the economy and the new jobless claims numbers. Hang in there Linds! I promise it's going to get better!

*25 Lindsay Lohan pictures total in the gallery:

Jason Statham leaving a party in Monte Carlo, Monaco (5/29)

Here's some pics of Jason Statham shitfaced over the weekend in Monte Carlo. You won't catch me making fun of him, because let's face it, even drunk this guy could kick my ass in a fight. That's mainly because he has no hair for me to pull. It's my signature MMA move.

*6 Jason Statham pics total in the gallery:

Michelle Rodriguez is HAMMERED

Vanessa Hudgens wasn't the only one who got hammered last night at VIP nightclub in Cannes. Michelle Rodriguez also partook in the social practice of alcohol consumption. That's her leaving the club, right before she met up with Vanessa in her hotel room and Vanessa's all like 'no, I'm not sure I'll like this' and Michelle's all like 'just follow my lead you little slut' and then they started making out and feeling each other up and shit. I mean, maybe they did that. You can't prove that that didn't happen.

*11 Michelle Rodriguez drunk pictures total in the gallery:

Vanessa Hudgens is drunk

Vanessa Hudgens was leaving VIP nightclub in Cannes at 4:15 this morning after a long night of libations, and why hello stairs. Fancy meeting you here.

*5 Vanessa Hudgens pictures total in the gallery: