Guy Ritchie leaving his pub in London (6/30)
Guy Ritchie must be the happiest drunk I've ever seen. Every time he gets drunk (
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
here, and
here), he looks like a kid on Christmas morning, a kid with parents who care and buy him cool shit he actually wants like a Nintendo or kick-ass G.I. Joes and not dumb stuff like shirts with sailboats on them that all the other kids at school make fun of him over and call him a fag and the name sticks and he's called 'sailboat fag' well into high school I hate you mom and dad die die die. Whoa, sorry about that. My therapist says it's healthy to just let it go sometimes.
Mischa Barton leaving Bungalow 8 nightclub in London (6/25)
I meant to post these pics last Friday but I got distracted by things way-way-way-way more interesting than Mischa Barton. Like this chair I'm sitting on. Solid oak baby!
Guy Ritchie is drunk The rumors are true: owning your own pub kicks some serious ass. That's Guy Ritchie leaving his Punch Bowl pub in London Tuesday, presumably not after being thrown out because he was too drunk.
Lindsay Lohan leaving the Cuckoo Club in London (6/5)
Lindsay Lohan got absolutely hammered last night at the Cuckoo Club in London. Lindsay tried escaping out a side door, but about 20 paparazzi caught her. Pardon Lindsay's look of confusion. The last time she was surrounded by that many men, they were standing in a single file line with their cocks out. "Next!" High school reunions can be so fun.
Janice Dickinson leaving Nobu restaurant in West Hollywood (5/13)
I'm not even gonna pretend to know exactly what the hell Janice Dickinson is doing in that pic. She appears to be doing the X-rated version of that clown trick where they pull a never-ending handkerchief out of their pocket. Oh wow, that actually sounded way less disgusting in my mind. Apologies.
Christina Aguilera entering (L) and leaving (R) The Room nightclub in West Hollywood (4/27)
I give Christina a "B" for the effort. She clearly nailed the makeup. But what about the flower that squirts water, the big goofy shoes, and the picture on the Megan's Law website? Wait . . . she is trying to mimic a birthday party clown, right?
Simon Cowell leaving a party at The Box nightclub in New York (4/3)
My god, are those car keys in Simon's hand? I really hope he didn't drive home. Not because he's drunk, but because he's in a car. You hit a drifter (as I assuming most people do when they're drunk; I hit four last week) and he's going right through your windshield, potentially injuring your passengers and creating one helluva cleanup. When I go clubbing, I won't drive home in anything less than a Hummer or snow plow. You gotta be responsible.
Guy Ritchie leaving The Punch Bowl pub in London (3/23)
No need to drown your miseries in booze, Guy. We all had Wake Forest reaching the Sweet 16.
Guy Ritchie leaving Scott's restaurant in London (3/17)
I'm concerned about Guy. This is only the
second time this month I've seen him completely wasted. I fear we may be losing him to his work. Dammit Guy, LIVE!
Lindsay Lohan leaving Jack Nicholson's house in Beverly Hills (3/14)
Oh hey, what do you know, I lied.
NOTE: Check out the post below this to see what I'm talking about.