Drunk Celebs

Papa John Schnatter is drunk

Via our good friends at BroBible, here's the Papa John's guy (aka John Schnatter) ABSOLUTELY SHITFACED at the National Championship game at the Georgia Dome on Monday night. Rumor has it that he was so drunk that he actually ate his own pizza later that night. I just hope he blacked out so he doesn't remember. No one deserves that.

*5 Papa John's guy pictures total in the gallery:

Snooki leaving Bootsy Bellows in West Hollywood (12/18)

After having too much to drink last night at Bootsy Bellows in West Hollywood, Snooki -- who gave birth in late August -- had to be helped to her car by a friend. But don't worry about her baby back at home. Locked closets, they're not just for hanging coats anymore!

*5 Snooki pictures total in the gallery:

Jon Hamm leaving a bar in Hollywood (11/11)

Jon Hamm got absolutely shitfaced at a bar in Hollywood on Sunday night. I'm assuming he was there to celebrate Veteran's Day. "Hey baby, I just got back from a grueling, two-day Civil War reenactment where I played the aide-de-camp to Maj. Gen. Stonewall Jackson. How 'bout you buy a veteran a drink?" C'mon, I can't be the only one who uses that line . . .

*10 Jon Hamm drunk pictures total in the gallery:

Ryan Lochte is drunk

After finishing his last Olympic swimming event on Thursday night, American silver medal specialist Ryan Lochte got absolutely hammered last night at Chinawhite nightclub in London. And then proceeded to take home a homely-looking British chick who might be a 6 on a good night. He thought he was going to bang a supermodel, but fittingly, fell way short of expectations.

*15 Ryan Lochte pictures total in the gallery:

Julianne Hough leaving Roka restaurant in London (6/10)

Even though she's Mormon and has said in the past that she doesn't drink alcohol, Julianne Hough was looking a little tipsy after the Rock of Ages premiere afterparty in London on Sunday morning. Of course she gets sloppy drunk now. What, you didn't think morals and values could withstand the pull of the Hollywood machine, did you? You naive little fool. Did you know that, before Lindsay Lohan moved to Hollywood, a wild night for her was drawing pictures of Jesus with elbow macaroni and glitter? And then Hollywood fucked her in the ass and came all over her back, both figuratively -- and in some cases -- literally.

*5 Julianne Hough pictures total in the gallery:

Tara Reid leaving a yacht in Cannes, France (5/21)

What, did you really think I'd do only one post this week about Tara Reid being drunk? C'mon, you know me better than that. Anyways, that's Tara leaving a yacht party on Monday night at the Cannes Film Festival -- or, as Tara calls it: France Spring Break! Woo hoo!

*5 Tara Reid pictures total in the gallery:

Cameron Diaz leaving Whisky Mist nightclub in London at 3AM (5/23)

Cameron Diaz got absolutely shitfaced at Whisky Mist nightclub in London last night. She got so drunk, that at one point, she actually acted like she was attractive. I know, right? She must have done, like, 20 shots.

*20 Cameron Diaz pictures total in the gallery:

Tara Reid leaving Nikki Beach club in Cannes (5/19)

Like the fantastically-awesome Salma Hayek, Tara Reid was also at the Cannes Film Festival over the weekend. Unlike the fantastically-awesome Salma Hayek, Tara has an app on her iPhone that sounds an alarm when she's 500 feet from an open bar. I mean, right? She has that, right?

*10 Tara Reid drunk pictures total in the gallery:

Vanessa Hudgens at Day 3 of the Coachella Music and Arts Festival in Indio, CA (4/15)

Turns out Vanessa Hudgens didn't just flash her undies at Coachella on Saturday -- she also got sloppy drunk on Sunday. Her boyfriend Austin Butler had to help her walk or she would have just collapsed in a giant heap. I don't know why kids today think that you can't have a fun time without alcohol. It's almost like some of them have never even heard of LARPing. I'm a pirate!

*31 Vanessa Hudgens pictures total in the gallery:

Goldie Hawn is hammered

Goldie Hawn attended the private launch party of The Hawn Foundation at Annabel's nightclub in London last night, and holy shit woman. Didn't anyone tell her that you're not supposed to get completely shitfaced at your own launch party? I don't know exactly what The Hawn Foundation does, but I'm assuming they make JELL-O shots.

*27 Goldie Hawn pictures total in the gallery: