Doutzen Kroes

Doutzen Kroes in Miami (4/28)

Besides Kelly Osbourne of course, there was nothing but attractive women in bikinis this weekend, including Victoria's Secret Angel Doutzen Kroes in Miami on Sunday. Yes, Doutzen, your ass really does look that good. I do the same thing in the mirror with my abs. Doutzen and I are both grateful that God made us one of the "pretties" and not one of the "uglies." I heard that they like to steal and don't feel pain like the rest of us do. *shudders*

*48 Doutzen Kroes bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Doutzen Kroes in Miami (3/31)

Not to be outdone by Adriana Lima showing off her butt cheeks on Sunday, here's fellow supermodel Doutzen Kroes, also in Miami. C'mon Adriana, you're not just gonna take that, are you? . . . MAKE OUT FIGHT!!!

*30 Doutzen Kroes bikini booty pictures total in the gallery:

Doutzen Kroes in a bikini in Miami (3/25)

I know I've touched on this before, but Dutch supermodel Doutzen Kroes pooped out a kid in 2011 (that's how it works, right?) and somehow still looks like this. Or maybe she faked the whole pregnancy, kidnapped a newborn baby, and then paraded it in front of the cameras so everyone would shower praise on her for bouncing back into shape so quickly? To recap: Doutzen Kroes either exercises and eats a lot of fruits and vegetables, or she's a fucking sociopath.

*62 Doutzen Kroes bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Candice Swanepoel and Doutzen Kroes in Miami (3/24)

What's better than the pictures of Candice Swanepoel in a bikini I posted earlier? Pictures of Candice Swanepoel in a bikini with sexy friend Doutzen Kroes. It's sorta like what a cheeseburger (Candice) is to a bacon cheeseburger (Doutzen and Candice). A cheeseburger is awesome, but a bacon cheeseburger is, like, totally fucking awesome. And then you beat off. I'm really into bacon cheeseburgers.

*50 Candice and Doutzen pictures total in the gallery:

The 2012 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in New York (11/7)

Here's the rest of the pics from the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show last night in New York. The show is scheduled to air on CBS on November 29 so set your DVRs. ***SPOILER ALERT*** Doutzen Kroes has a really nice ass.

Doutzen Kroes (17 pics here)
Adriana Lima (11 pics here)
Barbara Palvin (15 pics here)
Sui He (2 pics here)
Candice Swanepoel (16 pics here)
Behati Prinsloo (4 pics here)
Maud Welzen (3 pics here)
Hilary Rhoda (18 pics here)
Karlie Kloss (4 pics here)
Jacquelyn Jablonski (2 pics here)
Lily Aldridge (5 pics here)
Barbara Fialho (4 pics here)
Shanina Shaik (1 pic here)
Izabel Goulart (3 pics here)
Jasmine Tookes (1 pic here)
Joan Smalls (1 pic here)
Bregje Heinen (3 pics here)
Magdelana Frackowiak (4 pics here)
Frida Gustavsson (1 pic here)
Jessica Hart (6 pics here)

*122 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show pictures total in the gallery:

Candice Swanepoel in Miami (9/13)

Candice Swanepoel and Doutzen Kroes both continued the Victoria's Secret catalog shoot in Miami today, and both wore gold bikinis. So which model to pick for the headline pic? Candice or Doutzen? Doutzen or Candice? It's just like Sophie's Choice, except you cum at the end.

Doutzen's pics start here

*46 Candice Swanepoel and Doutzen Kroes pictures total in the gallery:

Doutzen Kroes bikini pics!

Looks like this is gonna be one of those weeks with nonstop bikini pics, because all the Victoria's Secret Angels are in Miami shooting a commercial. Posted some pics of Erin Heatherton earlier, and now here's Dutch stunner Doutzen Kroes. Seeing all these gorgeous women today, I kinda feel like I'm 16 again. No, I don't mean I was actually surrounded by gorgeous women when I was 16, I just mean I'm gonna beat off a ton.

*35 Doutzen Kroes bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Doutzen Kroes in Miami (8/16)

You know, I thought Doutzen Kroes would be impressed with all my new tattoos and the swim trunks I borrowed from my nephew, but bitch didn't even give me the time of day. Probably just jealous.

*34 Doutzen Kroes pictures total in the gallery:

Doutzen Kroes bikini candids! (6/21)

Following her popular appearances Tuesday and Wednesday, here's more of Victoria's Secret model Doutzen Kroes showing off her ridiculous abs in Miami. I didn't think it was possible, but Doutzen has stolen my heart. And possibly my iPad. I'll get you, bitch!

*31 Doutzen Kroes bikini candids total in the gallery:

Doutzen Kroes bikini pics! (Miami - 6/19)

After being spotted at the beach in Miami on Sunday, Doutzen Kroes moved to the pool at her hotel yesterday. And then out of the blue, she started feeling herself up. She either has an insatiable sex drive and is especially turned on by the voyeuristic qualities of getting off in public or she's checking for lumps because she's really worried about breast cancer. So basically, on the exact opposite ends of the spectrum of things that really turn me on.

*43 Doutzen Kroes bikini pictures total in the gallery: