Recently in Dina Lohan Category

Dina Lohan gets drunk at the Shore Club and Grass

It's easy to see why Lindsay Lohan has a drinking problem. Because her mom, well, is a drunk. According to witnesses, 44-year-old Dina Lohan "partied like a teenager" last weekend in South Beach. A source revealed to the New York Post:

On Friday, [Dina] and friends drank poolside at the Shore Club before moving on to Grass, where she ordered bottle service for her table and stayed for hours. The next night, she and a group of 20-somethings hit Suite, where they downed vodka and cranberry drinks and champagne - racking up a $750 bill, which the club graciously comped. Dina left the waitress a mere $100 tip, we hear. (Source)

Dina, however, disputes the tale: "We weren't drinking at all . . . We were there to see a DJ named Justin and possibly sign him."

Sign him to what exactly? I must have missed something when I blacked out all of last Sunday (my Uncle Jack [Daniels] was in town). When did Lindsay Lohan's mom get into the business of signing DJs? I thought leaching off her daughter filled most of her schedule. And one more thing, why were my pants on backwards when I woke up Monday morning? I demand answers!

Lindsay Lohan is breaking the rehab rules

Officials at the L.A. Wonderland rehab center are starting to get annoyed with their most famous guest, Lindsay Lohan. The starlet keeps ignoring rules against special treatment--especially when it comes to ordering takeout from swanky restaurants. According to Mike Walker of the National Enquirer, Lindsay's mom Dina had to intervene after a recent dinner delivery from famous eatery Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills:

When Wonderland officials complained, mom Dina Lohan phoned in her own order - demanding that Lindsay be allowed to indulge her star appetite! (Thank you, Mommy dearest!) (Source)

Outrageous. Who's running this rehab center, Nazi stormtroopers? Let me kindly remind them that Lindsay is better than everyone else. She's been in movies, dude, movies. You know that old saying about how everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time? Don't kid yourself. What it actually means is poor people put their pants on one leg at a time. For the top Hollywood stars, one leg at a time is simply too inefficient. After all, time is money. And with more money you can buy more stuff. And having more stuff makes you a better person. That's called logic. Look it up.

Dina had to intervene after a recent dinner delivery from famous eatery Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills:

When Wonderland officials complained, mom Dina Lohan phoned in her own order - demanding that Lindsay be allowed to indulge her star appetite! (Thank you, Mommy dearest!) (Source)

Outrageous. Who's running this rehab center, Nazi stormtroopers? Let me kindly remind them that Lindsay is better than everyone else. She's been in movies, dude, movies. You know that old saying about how everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time? Don't kid yourself. What it actually means is poor people put their pants on one leg at a time. For the top Hollywood stars, one leg at a time is simply too inefficient. After all, time is money. And with more money you can buy more stuff. And having more stuff makes you a better person. That's called logic. Look it up.

Lindsay Lohan gets Mr. Chow delivered to rehab Dina had to intervene after a recent dinner delivery from famous eatery Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills:

When Wonderland officials complained, mom Dina Lohan phoned in her own order - demanding that Lindsay be allowed to indulge her star appetite! (Thank you, Mommy dearest!) (Source)

Outrageous. Who's running this rehab center, Nazi stormtroopers? Let me kindly remind them that Lindsay is better than everyone else. She's been in movies, dude, movies. You know that old saying about how everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time? Don't kid yourself. What it actually means is poor people put their pants on one leg at a time. For the top Hollywood stars, one leg at a time is simply too inefficient. After all, time is money. And with more money you can buy more stuff. And having more stuff makes you a better person. That's called logic. Look it up.

Dina Lohan fights Lindsay's fights Dina had to intervene after a recent dinner delivery from famous eatery Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills:

When Wonderland officials complained, mom Dina Lohan phoned in her own order - demanding that Lindsay be allowed to indulge her star appetite! (Thank you, Mommy dearest!) (Source)

Outrageous. Who's running this rehab center, Nazi stormtroopers? Let me kindly remind them that Lindsay is better than everyone else. She's been in movies, dude, movies. You know that old saying about how everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time? Don't kid yourself. What it actually means is poor people put their pants on one leg at a time. For the top Hollywood stars, one leg at a time is simply too inefficient. After all, time is money. And with more money you can buy more stuff. And having more stuff makes you a better person. That's called logic. Look it up.

Lindsay Lohan is not taking rehab seriously Dina had to intervene after a recent dinner delivery from famous eatery Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills:

When Wonderland officials complained, mom Dina Lohan phoned in her own order - demanding that Lindsay be allowed to indulge her star appetite! (Thank you, Mommy dearest!) (Source)

Outrageous. Who's running this rehab center, Nazi stormtroopers? Let me kindly remind them that Lindsay is better than everyone else. She's been in movies, dude, movies. You know that old saying about how everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time? Don't kid yourself. What it actually means is poor people put their pants on one leg at a time. For the top Hollywood stars, one leg at a time is simply too inefficient. After all, time is money. And with more money you can buy more stuff. And having more stuff makes you a better person. That's called logic. Look it up.

Lindsay Lohan has a hankering for some Chinese food Dina had to intervene after a recent dinner delivery from famous eatery Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills:

When Wonderland officials complained, mom Dina Lohan phoned in her own order - demanding that Lindsay be allowed to indulge her star appetite! (Thank you, Mommy dearest!) (Source)

Outrageous. Who's running this rehab center, Nazi stormtroopers? Let me kindly remind them that Lindsay is better than everyone else. She's been in movies, dude, movies. You know that old saying about how everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time? Don't kid yourself. What it actually means is poor people put their pants on one leg at a time. For the top Hollywood stars, one leg at a time is simply too inefficient. After all, time is money. And with more money you can buy more stuff. And having more stuff makes you a better person. That's called logic. Look it up.

Lindsay Lohan gets special treatment at Wonderland

Dina Lohan talks about her daughter going to rehab

Dina Lohan has weighed in on her daughter Lindsay's decision to enter rehab. The "weathered" Mom told David Caplan of Star the following:

"I'm so proud of her. She's really in a good place right now, spiritually and mentally. She's in an amazing, phenomenal place. She's 20 and she's solid, and she's doing what she needs to do. I don’t know that many people who are that secure. It's all about her, and getting back on track. She's fine — she’s amazingly fine."

Wait, what? Did Lindsay Lohan just enter a rehab clinic or bring home straight A's? I think it's time for Dina to start showing some tough love towards Lindsay. Maybe a "you dumb bitch" here and a "my daughter is a cunt" there. That's really what molded me into the fine upstanding gentleman I am today...ya' know, when my Dad called me a "fag" at my Sweet 16 party. Just because I have facial hair and a penis doesn't mean I can't celebrate my 16th birthday the way God and MTV intended. You can take your damn stereotypes and leave thank you very much.

Lindsay Lohan wants to do action films

The mother of Lindsay Lohan, Dina, claims Lindsay is actively pursuing a role in an action film:

She tells American publication Star, "I would love to see her in an action movie, like an Angelina Jolie movie." Despite her daughter's many health-related issues, including several trips to the emergency room for exhaustion, dehydration and asthma attacks, Dina is convinced she has what it takes. She adds, "I would like to see her in a kickboxing movie. She could do it."

Lindsay Lohan going to the emergency room for exhaustion? That amuses me. I've always assumed the life of a whore to be relaxing and carefree. I mean how hard can it be to nap the entire day, have a few drinks at night, and then lay on your back for an hour after you get home from the club. I guess I should ask my mother.

*weeps softly*

Dina Lohan Lindsay's Mom

Now that I know who Lindsay Lohan's mom wants to screw, I can finally sleep at night:

ATTENTION, George Clooney: Ms. Lohan wants to date you. No, not Lindsay, but her divorcée mom, Dina , who told Page Six: "For every woman in America, he's the first choice. He's a gentleman. He's kept this class about him."

So nice of Dina to elect herself the official voice of the American women. If I wanted a drunken whore to speak for "every women in America," I'd call my wife.....How could you? You whore!.....the entire chess team?.....you're dead to me.....sorry...sorry.....I really shouldn't bring my personal problems to the site. Slut.

Does it make George extra classy that he has a plan to nail every hot woman in America?