Archive: Dina Lohan

Ali Lohan got a boob job

In their latest issue, Us Weekly asks the question on the minds of many imprisoned pedophiles and child rapists: Is it finally acceptable to talk about a 14-year-old girl’s breasts? The answer? A resounding ‘yes’:

Did 14-year-old singer Ali Lohan have a summer growth spurt? Us Weekly reports in its latest issue, on newsstands now, that the young star of Living Lohan flaunted what looked like overnight curves at a Jonas Brothers concert in East Hampton, NY on August 9. Just three months earlier, a flatter Lohan hit Fuse for a taping of The Sauce in NYC. (Source)

After being confronted by a paparazzo asking about her sister’s breasts, Lindsay Lohan took to her MySpace page to address the rumors:

All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body. (Source)

Ha ha ha, that’s a good one Lindsay. You almost had me convinced that Dina’s a responsible mother and not a leech that sacrificed both of her daughter’s childhoods to the Hollywood machine, all in some misguided attempt to boost her own sense of self-importance. Did you know that when Ali was just 4, Dina taught her to stand with her head perfectly still so “Mommy has a place to put her margarita”? True story.

[WENN, Pacific Coast News, BauerGriffinOnline]

Dina Lohan gets drunk, kicked out of party

Dina Lohan got herself and daughter Ali kicked out of the afterparty for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 premiere. Dina was asked to change tables and, according to witnesses, went “apeshit.” Of course Dina claims she wasn’t kicked out — she voluntarily left the party because a studio staffer “raised his voice” at her. Oh no, not a raised voice! E! Online’s Marc Malkin says:

Sources report that when Dina, Ali and a friend of Ali’s arrived to the after-party, they sat down at a reserved table. A studio staffer politely asked her to change tables, but “Dina “went apes–t,” a partygoer tells me. “It so wasn’t cool.”So not cool that “Dina was quietly removed” from the rooftop soiree, another source says. Dina, however, claims she decided to ditch the party because she says that the studio staffer started raising his voice.

“He made the girls uncomfortable,” Dina wrote in an email to me this afternoon. “At that point, the girls wanted to leave.”

But my party source insists, the studio folks “couldn’t have been nicer . . . Dina was so awful.” (Source)

With the example Dina’s set for her, I’d be shocked if Ali doesn’t set some kind of gangbang record by her 21st birthday. A torn open bag of dog food and a leaky faucet could do a better job of parenting than that drunk.

[Pacific Coast News, BauerGriffinOnline, Splash News]

Dina Lohan filming her new reality show at a youth center in Harlem (3/28)

I know this has nothing to do with the story but how long do you think it’d take to bang Dina Lohan if you were locked in a room with her and a six pack of Coors Light? 10 minutes? 5 minutes? The New York Post says:

Dina Lohan needs to learn when to call it a night. The soon to be reality wreck hit Monday’s “Made of Honor” premiere party with galpals at the Metropolitan Club, where she stayed till the wee hours. “She was dancing, drinking and playing with her hair extensions,” said our spywitness. “The hours are going by and everyone is leaving, some people left very late, and she was still there partying, still going. She probably stayed past the staff.” (Source)

What kind of example is Dina setting for her children? The kind of example where it’s OK to blow the bartender if he puts an extra shot of rum in your Long Island Iced Tea? Yes, exactly.

[Splash News]

Lindsay’s mom is proud of her nude pics

Lindsay Lohan’s mom Dina is damn proud of her daughter’s nude feature in New York magazine. She told People magazine:

“It was very tastefully done,” Dina tells PEOPLE of the photos, a recreation of Marilyn Monroe’s legendary 1962 photo shoot shot by Bert Stern. “I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically. For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say can you recreate these photos is an honor. I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don’t look at them like it’s Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother.”

Wrong Dina. It’s exactly like Playboy. The only difference between the two magazines are that the letters to the editor in New York magazine are more about the War in Iraq and less about the best way to seduce your busty secretary. Nudity is nudity. I don’t care if these pics were in Cat Fancy — Lindsay’s still a whore. Dina continues:

“Trust me. I wouldn’t have sent my 14-year-old to the set [if the shoot was in bad taste]. And obviously Lindsay wouldn’t do anything with her sister there, that was risqué. Lindsay was very excited when she first got the phone call. Of course we talked about how they would be done. Lindsay said, ‘Mommy, I’m never going to get this opportunity to do it again.’ She was very thankful she was asked.”

Wow, that Mommy line is just a *tad* creepy. Sometimes I forgot that Lindsay is not just a ravenous cockhungry slut but someone’s ravenous cockhungry daughter as well. Dina ends:

“[Lindsay’s] always loved Marilyn. For Christmas, my girlfriends even gave her a Marilyn cookie jar. I think there’s a sadness that Lindsay feels for Marilyn. Lindsay really saw it as a gift back to someone.” (Source)

And by “someone” Dina of course meant “millions of teens boys discovering the joys of Jergens and a dark room for the first time”.

Riley, Dina, and Lindsay at dinner in New York (11/20/07)

Lindsay Lohan’s mom Dina was so pissed that her ex-boyfriend Riley Giles sold his story (for $120k) to UK tabloid News of the World that she called his mom. A source told Us Weekly:

“Dina insulted her parenting.” Says a Dina pal: “Dina did call Riley’s mom.”

Lindsay’s dad, Michael, tells Us he and Lindsay have spoken to Giles, and “he apologizes.” (Source)

I’d say that Dina Lohan calling into question another mother’s parenting skills is akin to the pot calling the kettle black, but that would be an insult to kettles. When your kid’s a coke- snorting-drunk-driving-nympho, your child-rearing opinions are about as valuable as a bar of soap in a hippie colony.

Getty

Surprising roughly no one, it turns out that Lindsay Lohan’s parents are utter fuckups. According to Lindsay’s former bodyguard, Tony Almeida, Michael and Dina Lohan were “wild, abusive, neglectful partiers” who pushed Lindsay to keep on working so they could pay their bills. Almeida told the new issue of In Touch:

“From a young age, she dealt with her father’s physical, emotional and drug abuses as well as her mother’s drinking.” Once, when Lindsay was 16, Michael flew into a rage while driving and “slammed on the brakes and dragged her out of the car, pushed her up against the hood, screamed at her and called her a slut. This was on the Long Island Expressway! I got in the middle of it and pulled him off.”

Dina often “let her do whatever she wanted, just to keep her happy and working . . . [At her 16th birthday party] Lindsay drank whatever she wanted - I saw her drinking beer and mixed drinks with my own eyes [without Dina’s intervention].”

As Lindsay’s manager, Dina - who was desperate to become a star herself - received 10 percent of her income. “Lindsay was the family cash cow - and she resented it,” Almeida claims. “They counted on her to pay their bills . . . I saw Lindsay exhausted, begging her mother for some time off.”

Young Lindsay’s parents looked the other way as she began a life of boozing, boys and drugs. When she was 15, they allowed her to share a room with her then-14-year-old boyfriend, Aaron Carter, at Loews in Miami Beach. Almeida relates, “They knew Lindsay was sleeping in Aaron’s room. But they seemed happy she had chosen somebody who could benefit her singing career.” (Source)

I’m surprised no one’s mentioned the real culprit in the fall of Lindsay Lohan, the unspoken enemy lurking just below the surface of public discourse. Of course I’m talking about violent video games. If Congress wouldn’t have been waisting their time all these years on stupid shit like roads and health care, these things would have been banned long ago. Remember when games like Grand Theft Auto and Halo didn’t exist in the 80s? A fella’ could walk down the street without a care in the world. Oh what a gentler time that was.

The Lohan family was rolling three deep at the Polaroid Beach House on Wednesday night. Dina’s on the left, Lindsay the middle, and young Ali on the right. I feel for Ali, I really do. I fear Lindsay’s set the alcoholic bar so high that Ali can’t possibly top it unless she changes her name to Budweiser Lohan or moves into a liquor store. Of course I had the same fears about Dina and Lindsay and look how things turned out. Lindsay’s like the fresh-off-the-assembly-line Ferrari to Dina’s broken-down Chevy.

More of the Lohan family partying at the Polaroid beach house after the jump…

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Dina Lohan’s television dreams may come true. For years Lindsay’s mom has tried unsuccessfully to land an on-air TV gig. Now word comes from the New York Post that the E! Network is in talks with Dina to produce Mom-Ager a show in which the Lohan matriarch will try to “to turn her youngest children, Ali, 14, and Cody, 11, into stars.” An insider fumed:

“Can you believe that? She totally messed up Lindsay by making her a ’star’ and living vicariously through her - and now she’s going to do the same to the other two? How the [bleep] can E! do this? Those kids should be in school having normal lives, the life that Lindsay didn’t get to have.” (Source)

Unfortunately a team of doctors and psychiatrists advised against Ali and Cody appearing on Mom-Ager. But they did give the go-ahead to begin production on E!’s other Lohan family reality show. The premise? Dina looks on as Ali and Cody are kidnapped at knife point and thrown into a pit full of angry cobras. And, uhh, that’s pretty much it.

In the latest issue of Us Weekly, Dina Lohan gives a candid interview about her daughter Lindsay. The elder Lohan addresses Lindsay’s hard-partying image as well as the infamous pics of her doing cocaine that were released by UK tabloid News of the World a few weeks ago.

Us Weekly: How is Lindsay holding up with the tape circulating?

Dina: “We’re not reading anything about it. You can’t let it bother you. We work so hard, then some girl just tried to make money off her [for that tape]. Lindsay doesn’t even know who her friends are.”

Us Weekly: Do you think Lindsay is at the clubs too much?

Dina: “This [premieres and parties] is the fun part of the business. She’ll be 21 in a few months. Regardless, of course, as a parents, you set boundaries and scold them. But there are these dark stories – she is so misunderstood. All she wants to do is act and have a somewhat normal life. When you’re 20, it’s normal to want to go to The Ivy, to go to the hot stores. She can’t live in a bubble.” (Source)

Wow Dina seems like a really cool mom, one of those types who would buy kids alcohol back in high school. All my stupid mom did when I was in high school was not buy me alcohol and actually worry when a video of me doing cocaine was released to the media. What a hardass! Sure I ended up an overwhelming [handsome] success while those other kids with the cool moms ended up in rehab and gutters. That’s called a coincidence. Look it up.

It’s easy to see why Lindsay Lohan has a drinking problem. Because her mom, well, is a drunk. According to witnesses, 44-year-old Dina Lohan “partied like a teenager” last weekend in South Beach. A source revealed to the New York Post:

On Friday, [Dina] and friends drank poolside at the Shore Club before moving on to Grass, where she ordered bottle service for her table and stayed for hours. The next night, she and a group of 20-somethings hit Suite, where they downed vodka and cranberry drinks and champagne - racking up a $750 bill, which the club graciously comped. Dina left the waitress a mere $100 tip, we hear. (Source)

Dina, however, disputes the tale: “We weren’t drinking at all . . . We were there to see a DJ named Justin and possibly sign him.”

Sign him to what exactly? I must have missed something when I blacked out all of last Sunday (my Uncle Jack [Daniels] was in town). When did Lindsay Lohan’s mom get into the business of signing DJs? I thought leaching off her daughter filled most of her schedule. And one more thing, why were my pants on backwards when I woke up Monday morning? I demand answers!