Diddy


Stage eats Diddy at the BET Awards

Fitting way for Diddy to end the week. After getting arrested for being a douche to start the week, he ends the week by falling through the stage last night at the BET Awards. I don't even think this was an accident. I'm half-convinced Diddy saw the hole in the stage and thought he could just walk across the air, a la Jesus Christ himself. "Aw fuck that hurt. Can somebody please get me a bottle of water so I can make some wine? I need a drink."


Diddy out and about in West Hollywood (5/28)

Diddy was arrested in L.A. yesterday after he used a kettlebell to attack Sal Alosi -- a strength and conditioning coach for the UCLA football team. The coach's transgression? He yelled at Diddy's son Justin Combs -- a cornerback on the team -- during a practice session. Yelled at him. Because it's college fucking football, not Pop Warner. Hear that whirling noise? That's the sound of helicopter parenting being taken to a new level.

Diddy's being charged with three counts of assault with a deadly weapon, one count of making terrorist threats, one count of battery, and one count of doing something crazy to get your name in the news because no one's talk about you in five years. After the arrest, UCLA head coach Jim Mora issued the following statement:
"I'm thankful that our staff showed the level of professionalism that they did in handling this situation. This is an unfortunate incident for all parties involved.  While UCPD continues to review this matter, we will let the legal process run its course and refrain from further comment at this time. Oh, and the closest Justin Combs will come to the field during the remainder of his career at UCLA is if he trips onto it."
Okay I may have added that last line. But it's not far from the truth. Deion Sanders' dad might be able to get away with this shit. Justin Combs is no Deion Sanders.

*10 Diddy pictures total in the gallery:

  • Diddy UCLA Assault 1
  • Diddy UCLA Assault 2
  • Diddy UCLA Assault 3
  • Diddy UCLA Assault 4
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Diddy out and about in L.A. (4/21)

+ Pink is butt ass naked [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Katie McGlynn upskirt (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ An abortion to get on a reality show [The Blemish]
+ PMOY Jaclyn Swedberg working out [Guyism]
+ Leanna Decker boob gif is one of the greatest of all time [Brobible]

+ Jason Sudeikis has that fatherly glow [Socialite Life]
+ The fuck is Rose McGowan wearing? [Evil Beet]
+ Madonna is offensive [Cele|bitchy]
+ Kourtney Kardashian is an annoying neighbor [I'm Not Obsessed]

BIKINI PICS OF THE DAY: Surfing Magazine is awesome

*25 Diddy pictures total in the gallery:

  • Diddy Getting Fat 1
  • Diddy Getting Fat 2
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  • Diddy Getting Fat 1
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Diddy sucks at dice

Diddy lost a million dollars to Rick Ross shooting dice over the weekend, who I'm sure has already filed the appropriate forms with the IRS. Right, Rick? In between pictures of his children, Diddy posted a video to his Instagram of him shooting dice and swigging Ciroc (the shitty vodka he has a piece of), adding the following charming caption:
I just lost a million dollars. It ain't nothin #SuckMyDickBitch
Hey, for all of those families suffering through those floods and mudslides in Colorado, don't despair -- Sean Combs is losing millions of dollars to other douchey millionaires playing street craps. My God, how out of touch can one shiny suit-wearing shit-dick be? Diddy wears his obliviousness like a tacky badge of honor -- inlaid with yellow diamonds on faux platinum. Hopefully Diddy decides to not pay his debt, which Rick will then see as "disrespect" and handle it the way all self-obsessed hip hop "artists" handle it: with hot lead injections at the BET Hip Hop Awards.

*5 Diddy dice pictures total in the gallery:


  • Diddy Owes a Million
  • Diddy Drikning Ciroc
  • Diddy Shooting Dice
  • Diddy Dice Game
  • Diddy and Rick Ross Shooting Dice

Diddy snorkeling in St. Barts (12/26)

That paparazzi agency says this is Diddy in St. Barts on Wednesday but I'm pretty sure they're wrong. I know a chubby little white kid from the midwest who doesn't want you to see his bitch tits when I see one.

*25 Diddy pictures total in the gallery:

  • Diddy Snorkling 1
  • Diddy Snorkling 2
  • Diddy Snorkling 3
  • Diddy Snorkling 4
  • Diddy Snorkling 5
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From Twitter last night:

payyourbillsdiddy.jpg


Cameron Diaz returning to her hotel in Paris (1/23)

I don't know how this is even possible considering what she now looks like, but Diddy's just using Cameron Diaz for the sex. Wait, really? Are we sure he's not just using her for the friendship? From the Chicago Sun Times:
While Cameron Diaz is said to be crazy about Sean “Diddy” Combs, the music mogul is described as viewing the actress more as a galpal he looks at as a “friend with benefits.”
Oh, no. Cameron went from being a movie star to being just another hoochie shaking her moneymaker in the lame rap video that is Sean Comb's life. First A-Rod, now Puffy or Diddy or whatever the hell he's calling himself now? We hear that once Cameron is finished running through the stupid nickname crowd, she's gonna hookup with the superhero community. Get ready, San Diego Comic-Con!

*30 Diddy pictures total in the gallery:

  • Cameron Diaz Friends with Benefits 1
  • Cameron Diaz Friends with Benefits 2
  • Cameron Diaz Friends with Benefits 3
  • Cameron Diaz Friends with Benefits 4
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  • Cameron Diaz Friends with Benefits 6
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  • Cameron Diaz Friends with Benefits 29
  • Cameron Diaz Friends with Benefits 30

Diddy at the Weinstein post-Golden Globes party in Beverly Hills (1/15)

Considering that Cameron Diaz looked like this at the Weinstein post-Golden Globes party, it's weird that Diddy would be in such a hurry to get her home. From the New York Daily News:
Diddy apparently got there solo and ... found Diaz sitting on a couch "talking to a guy," says the source.

"Let's go," Diddy told the "Bad Teacher" actress, who our source says quickly got up to follow him out a back exit where celebrities could call their cars, away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi.

Before Diaz and Diddy could make their getaway, however, our source says they ran into three male party guests who wanted their pictures taken with Diaz. She happily obliged, says our source, until an impatient Diddy grabbed her hand, said "Let's go" again, and pulled her to a waiting car.

"I've never seen him so controlling," says the source, who says Diaz "seemed to like the manly power thing."
Isn't that the way it is with "those people?" They take and take and take, and are outraged when at least a semblance of descent behavior is expected in return. Poor Cameron, she's an A-lister but being treated like ghetto trash by one of "those people." Hopefully Diddy will refrain from getting physical, but we all know how uppity "those people" can be, especially when they think they've been disrespected. Of course by "those people," I mean record execs. I know what you were thinking, and yes, you are indeed racist.

*5 Diddy pictures total in the gallery:

  • Diddy Diaz 1
  • Diddy Diaz 2
  • Diddy Diaz 3
  • Diddy Diaz 4
  • Diddy Diaz 5

Diddy leaving Whisky Mist nightclub in London (6/10)

Instead of getting drunk last week in London, Diddy could have put, like, five underprivileged kids through college. Hah! You suck underprivileged kids! From UK tabloid the Daily Star:
The 40-year-old moneybags boozer, aka Sean Combs, got the VIP section [at London’s members-only club Whisky Mist] closed off for 70 of his thirsty pals, including sexy gals MIA, 34, and Kelly Rowland, 29, who downed some of the devil’s finest liquid.

A source said: “Sean got through the whole stock of Whisky Mist Ace Of Spades cocktails, costing £61,000, as well as ordering 10 Chalice cocktails which arrived in silver trophies. He then bought a four-foot tall cocktail which came with dancers and a Scottish bagpipe player. Each of these costs £2,100 and Diddy bought 10.”

At the end of the bash, Diddy took to the decks with Kelly. Our source added: “Sean and Kelly tried to sing but they could hardly stand up.”
$90,000 just to get drunk? Hah! What a loser Diddy is! I drank a 12-pack of Natural Ice alone in my room last Saturday night/Sunday morning and it only cost me $8.99. Winner: Me!

*20 pics total in the gallery:

  • Diddy Bar Tab 1
  • Diddy Bar Tab 2
  • Diddy Bar Tab 3
  • Diddy Bar Tab 4
  • Diddy Bar Tab 5
  • Diddy Bar Tab 1
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  • Diddy Bar Tab 15

Diddy's son Justin's new Maybach

Diddy's son Justin had a pretty nice 16th birthday Saturday night. He got a sweater from his grandma, a $360,000 Maybach from his dad, and a . . . wait, what? From Us Weekly:
The teen received the wheels at a lavish bash Saturday night at M2 Ultralounge club in NYC. (Among the guests: Jersey Shore stars Paul "Pauly D" Delvecchio, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and rapper Lil' Kim.)

"I'm just ecstatic right now," Justin told UsMagazine.com at his party, which will be featured on an upcoming episode of MTV's My Super Sweet 16. "Words can't even describe how I feel. I'm so blessed and thankful for all of this."
Diddy's son is gonna be in for a real shock when he finds out his new set of wheels only gets 10 MPG. And don't even get me started on parallel parking that boat. My '87 Accord can squeeze into any space and gets 45 MPG when I roll the windows up and turn off the AC. Suck on that Justin! Who's the loser now, Mom and Dad!

  • Thumbnail: Diddy Maybach For Son 1
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Would You Rather?

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