David Spade outside The Cheesecake Factory at The Grove in L.A. (4/21)
I need to get into the light bulb-changing business in Hollywood. Because celebrities are fucking idiots. From the
National Enquirer:
How many dollars does it take to change a light bulb? If you're actor David Spade, the answer is a whopping $555! That's how much the star shelled out for a handyman to change about 20 bulbs in his gorgeous four bedroom, three-and-a-half bath Malibu Beach house. The repair company charged $250 to show up and another $250 for the first hour's work -- plus $55 for light bulbs, says the source. (Print Edition - 7/13)
David didn't shell out that kind of money to have his light bulbs changed because he's rich or lazy. He did it because he's too short to reach the sockets. Other things David has to pay someone to do around his house include getting cereal down from the top shelf, testing his smoke alarms, and reaching the thermostat. Of course, there is one thing he seems to be able to do very well by himself: grow old.
David Spade in Malibu (7/5)
A little tip ladies: You may want to leave your panties at the coat check before clicking on any of these pics of David Spade and his hot legs in Malibu on Sunday. I mean, let's not kid ourselves. You're gonna lose them anyway.
David Spade has a nice houseDavid Spade's beachfront home in Malibu. You can rent it for $65,000/mo during the summer.
David Spade is ignoring his love child
Remember the Playboy Playmate that David Spade knocked up earlier this year? He doesn't. Shortly after giving birth, Spade's baby momma, 22-year-old Jillian Grace, moved to Missouri to be closer to her mother. Even though I'm almost positive that Missouri has airports, Spade hasn't visited her or his new daughter once. A source told the National Enquirer:
"[David] only acknowledged his paternity of the baby in September, and Jillian is determined -- with her mom's help -- to raise the baby right and give her a good home."The blonde-haired baby, who was born on Aug. 26, is a spitting image of her famous father, says the source. But daddy dearest hasn't made a public appearance. David told Jillian he would visit their daughter when he was on break from filming his TV show, "Rules of Engagement." "But weeks went by -- and with the cast's official break a long way behind them -- he still has not visited. He said he would be there soon.," said the source. (Print Edition - 12/1)
Can you really blame David for not visiting his ex and their love child? They're living in freaking Missouri! Now if Jillian was raising their baby in a Hollywood night club, brewery, or
Nicollette Sheridan's house, I could see him dropping by all the time. In all seriousness, hopefully Jillian and David can meet eye-to-eye on some sort of shared custody arrangement. If they're having trouble,
this might help.
[WENN]
Nicollette Sheridan outside Luau nightclub on her birthday (11/21)
Nicollette Sheridan celebrated her 45th birthday Friday night by hooking up with David Spade. Coincidentally, my little sister did the exact same thing on her 13th birthday . . . oops, I don't think I was supposed to say anything about that. Sorry David. From People:
"They arrived separately and even started dinner at different booths," says an onlooker. It was a familiar scene: The duo were spotted a couple of weeks ago at the restaurant's opening, where they spent the night in deep conversation. This time, though, things got a little more intimate."They cuddled and kissed," says an onlooker. "They were full-on making out in a booth. David winked at her and stood by her side while she blew out the candles on her cake." (Source)
How does a guy like David Spade keep pulling ass? First it was Heather Locklear, then Jillian Grace, and now Nicollette Sheridan. Either this guy is hung like Ron Jeremy or 5 foot tall dudes are this fall's "must have" accessory. Of course it could be that I'm just being cynical and that these women appreciate his sense of humor. If they do, David should celebrate: it means he's doubled his number of fans.
David Spade and a "friend" leaving IHOP in L.A. (9/30)
Congratulations David Spade, for finding the one woman in L.A. shorter than you. She's a keeper!
David Spade forgot to pull out
22-year-old Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace (Miss March '05) is claiming that David Spade is the father of her unborn baby -- and Spade isn't denying it. He told TMZ:
"I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility." (Source)
Spade continued, "Hey you, can you help me out and grab that jar of peas on the top shelf? Thanks!"
100% True Story about Jillian Grace: My friend banged her on a cruise five four years ago.
Playmate Jillian Grace
David Spade
Kate Hudson threw a Halloween party in LA over the weekend and David Spade showed up wearing this shirt. With a fancy hat. And a handful of ones. Best K-Fed costume ever? Yes, best K-Fed costume ever.
NOTE: Replace that handful of ones with some twenties and you got yourself a damn fine Larry King costume
Heather Locklear has been on a bit of a spending spree lately. Even though she gets to keep the $6 million house she shared with ex-husband Richie Sambora, the former Melrose Place star just purchased a $1.25 million Beverly Hills condo. And she's also buying a lot of useless crap for rumored boyfriend David Spade. From Mike Walker of the National Enquirer:
And although hubba-hubba Heather's coyly denying a hot 'n' heavy hookup with David Spade, My Spies tell me she's showering the diminutive dude with thou$and$ of bling-things like golden skulls with diamond-eyes, bracelets and necklaces. And shoe lifts. (Source)
I totally added that last line. After all we are talking about David Spade. He's got Gary Coleman beat by like two inches--though below the belt it's probably a different story (I have it on good authority that Gary swings the lumber). If I would have known Heather was into short has-beens with dumpy bodies, I'd have given her my sister-in-law's number. If you can get over her five-o-clock shadow and jealous streak, she's an absolute keeper.
