Archive: David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff at LAX (4/13)

David Hasselhoff is not just a judge on America’s Got Talent, he actually has his own unique talent, too: using his assistant to score ass. A source told the New York Daily News:

“Last week, a group of three came into [Murray Hill bar in New York City], and they were laughing up a storm. They had just come from a taping of ‘America’s Got Talent,’ where Hasselhoff is a judge. The female of the group [a busty, cute brunette] was approached by the assistant of David Hasselhoff after the taping, and he gave her an autographed photo of him. On the back of the photo was the assistant’s phone number and a suggestion that she get in touch with ‘them.’ Also listed was the name of the hotel [the London] where they were staying.”

But did the lady call? Apparently not.

“She thought it was pathetic and funny,” laughs the snitch. (Source)

This is why I want to be famous. When you’re rich and famous, you can afford to have some lackey take your head shot up to hot chicks with your digits on it. Then, from the comfort of your hotel room, you just sit back and wait for the ones with low self esteem to call. And, if they happen to laugh at you for being “pathetic”, at least they’re not doing it to your face . . . like they occasionally do now . . . OK, all the time . . . anyone have a tissue?

[BauerGriffinOnline]

David Hasselhoff

I had a nightmare about this exact scenario last night, though of course I was naked (disclaimer: I’m naked in 98% of my dreams). The New York Post has more:

David Hasselhoff was a little confused Friday night at an L.A. event, where spies say he kept asking when the Victoria’s Secret lingerie show was going to start and where his seat was. But the Hoff had his invites wrong — he was actually at a Phi Beta PINK keg party. The recently rehabbed actor quickly headed to the gifting suite, where he loaded up on goodies for his daughters. (Source)

I can see how David Hasselhoff could get confused. Lingerie shows and sorority parties are pretty much the same thing. Hot chicks prance around in skimpy outfits, perverted dudes sit around and stare, and most of the women are in the bathrooms puking their dinners into the toilets. The only difference is that at a sorority party, the chicks usually end up making out with each other . . . well that and a few of them can spell.

Pacific Coast News

David Hasselhoff hanging out at the Polaroid Beach House in Malibu yesterday

More pics of David Hasselhoff after the jump…

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The Hoff is dating again! The former star of Baywatch and recovering alcoholic hit up the Fourth of July party at the Playboy mansion and, according to a witness, spent most of his time flirting with The Departed actress Sallie Toussaint. The New York Post reveals:

Later, Toussaint, Playboy’s August celeb babe of the month, told a pal, “David’s my childhood crush, and such a nice slice of American man snack!” As for why she chose to pose in a bikini rather than the buff, Toussaint laughed, “Like most women, I only want to be seen naked in a very dark room.” (Source)

Even in a bikini, she’ll still only be seen in a “very dark room” … by 13-year-old boys with flashlights and jars of Vaseline underneath their covers!

NOTE: I am NOT speaking from experience!

Uhhhh … ummmmm …. seriously, nothing I write could possibly be as hilarious as a drunken David Hasselhoff eating food off the ground. Normally alcoholism isn’t that funny. It destroys families and tears apart communities. But in this instance, it’s OK to laugh. Because he’s famous.

UPDATE: The Hoff released a statement to The Insider:

“I am a recovering alcoholic. Despite that I have been going through a painful divorce and I have recently been separated from my children due to my work, I have been successfully dealing with my issue. Unfortunately, one evening I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse. Because of my honest and positive relationship with my daughters who were concerned for my well being there was a tape made that night to show me what I was like. I have seen the tape. I have learned from it and I am back on my game. I thank God for the love and concern from my daughters. The tape was never meant to become public, but got into the hands of individuals who are not worthy of mentioning, who maliciously released the tape for their own self purpose. I hope that someone else will learn from the tape, as I have.”

According to TMZ, David Hasselhoff’s daughter tried to commit suicide Sunday night:

It happened in the San Fernando Valley, a suburb of Los Angeles, at around 6:30 p.m. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ David called 911 from his home and reported that his 14-year-old daughter had “cut herself.”‘ We’re told the LAPD responded and 14-year-old Hayley Hasselhoff was taken to a local hospital for treatment. Her condition is not being disclosed. The Mental Evaluation Unit of LAPD is now handling the case.

Hasselhoff’s estranged wife Pamela Bach said that the incident was blown out of proportion and, basically, David’s a huge fucking idiot, and possibly a crazy douchebag, albeit with great hair:

Bach, told Entertainment Tonight that Haley “got a scratch from a cat,” and that “The Hoff” overreacted to the injury. “David called and I told him about the scratch. He said he was going to call the ambulance. I said ‘David, what are you doing?’ The next thing I know David called the ambulance. I am floored. Shocked. Last night was so bizarre. I don’t know why David did this,” Bach is quoted by Entertainment Tonight’s website as saying.

Hmmmm�…..don’t know who to believe on this one. Since Pamela’s never been a TV lifeguard nor owned a pretty kick-ass talking car, I’m gonna go ahead and take The Hoff’s side on this one. That’s what KITT would have wanted.

David Hasselhoff is claiming that he and Princess Diana became “smitten” with each other after meeting in 1993.

The Hoff, 54, was introduced to the princess at a London charity bash, and was immediately seduced by her warm smile and statuesque figure. The Baywatch hunk is convinced the leggy royal felt the same way. He said: “She was smitten with me since I am so tall. I was smitten with her since she was so tall.” But even with the “sparks” between them, The Hoff insists he could sense the toll royal life was taking in the princess. He added: “I felt like she was little girl caught up in this whirlwind. I saw this little girl who just wanted to be a person, but (was) caught in this shell.”

Hasselhoff: “She was smitten with me since I am so tall. I was smitten with her since she was so tall.” Well said David, well said indeed. Cicero himself couldn’t have delivered a finer sentence. I think the time has come for David Hasselhoff–orator, statesman, television lifeguard. Why hasn’t Congress officially recognized him as a “national treasure?”