David Charvet

Brooke Burke and David Charvet at the 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards at the Nokia Theater LA LIVE (9/18)

Note to self: If possible, break up Brooke Burke and David Charvet's marriage, impregnate her, start new family. If not possible, masturbate heavily to elaborate fantasy scenario of breaking up Brooke Burke's marriage, impregnating her, and starting new family. A source told Star:

"[Brooke] knows the importance of looking sexy and fit for her hubby! She works hard at being a good wife."  And that includes making sure she has alone time with her actor hubby [David Charvet]: "Her daughters had gotten used to sleeping in her bed," says the source. leaving the newlyweds to sneak off to a hotel for steamy romps. "But Brooke put her foot down. She and David insisted the girls be banished to their rooms, so they could spice up their sex life...and it worked!" (Print Edition - 12/19)

Ah good. This is the first lesson from Celebslam University [and Titty Bar] for the ladies. When you gals are feeling froggy and want to jump, look to Brook Burke as a shining example of what you should be. BB is somebody in this town -- not quite a D-lister -- but absolutely reality show fodder. David Charvet, on the other hand, is less important in Hollywood than an NRA square dance. I'm not saying his career is dead, but I'm pretty sure I saw it get its ass kicked, shot, then driven around Libya for a couple of days. But it's Brooke who's humbling herself to this guy. Remember David? I don't either, but Google tells me he was on Baywatch when it was still trying to be a serious show about lifeguards -- Brooke should be able to set this tool on fire and not worry about his happiness. So remember ladies, no matter how successful you become, nothing replaces the fulfillment you feel when you have dinner on the table on time and the laundry cleaned, folded, and put away nicely.

*26 Brooke Burke and David Charvet pictures total in the gallery:

Brooke Burke is married

Didn't get to this yesterday (whiskey), but Tara Reid wasn't the only surprise wedding over the weekend. Brooke Burke married her fiancée-of-five-years David Charvet Saturday in St. Barts. From Life & Style:

Joined by their children, the couple, both 39, made it official after being engaged for nearly five years. "We're just at that place, where love is deep and meaningful, and we're feeling very settled," Brooke confided about their relationship last year.

After revving up their romance in 2005, the two became engaged in August 2006. "It was a total surprise," Brooke has said about the night when David proposed to her. "It was all very romantic. He's my best friend."

I know Brooke's been engaged for five years, but it still seems like she's rushing into it. C'mon Brooke, date some different guys . . . go out with your girlfriends . . . have sex with a random celebrity blogger who's been sending you hair clippings for the past ten years.

*53 Brooke Burke pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, April 20

Kelly Ripa at the 3rd Annual Point Honors gala in New York (pics start here)

Ryan Reynolds on the set of Green Lantern in New Orleans (pics start here)

Jessica Alba leaving her doctor's office in Santa Monica (pics start here)

David Duchovny on the set of Californication in Culver City (pics start here)

January Jones on the set of Mad Men in Pasadena (pics start here)

Brooke Burke and her fiancé David Charvet leaving Madeo restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Lucy Liu and Michael C. Hall filming East Fifth Bliss in New York (pics here)

Jennifer Lopez arriving to CBS studios in New York (pics start here)

Kylie Minogue leaving her home in London (pics start here)

Rebecca Gayheart leaving La Conversation Cafe in Hollywood (pics start here)

Jane Krakowski at the 3rd Annual Point Honors gala in New York (pics start here)

Nick Cannon at the "Feeding America Day of Service" in New York (pics here)

*150 pics total in the gallery: