David Beckham

David Beckham's penis

David Beckham nude

NOTE: To see the uncensored pic of David Beckham nude, click the headline pic and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

He's totally checking out his ass

Writer Grant Wahl devotes an entire chapter to the friendship between David Beckham and Tom Cruise in his upcoming book The Beckham Experiment. Wahl claims Cruise has influenced "every major decision" Beckham has made since the two met in 2003 -- including the name of his third son, Cruz. Because why wouldn't you name your son after a guy you've known for an entire year? From the New York Daily News:

"I must admit, when [Victoria and I] met Tom, I remember turning around to Victoria and saying, 'Cruise is a great name, but we could spell it different,'" Beckham told Wahl for the book, due from Crown Publishing on Tuesday. "And also, living in Spain, Cruz is spelled the way it is in Spanish. So that's why we got it."

It sounds like David's memory might be a little fuzzy on this matter. When he came up with the name Cruz for his son, David should have remembered "turning around" not to Victoria but to Tom and saying "use more lube" "mind the stepchildren" "Cruise is a great name." It's nice to know how open-minded Victoria is with David's sentimentality towards his ex-lovers. My future wife would probably be furious if we ended up naming our kid Adriana, Alessandra, or Used Gym Sock.

David Beckham playing in the Milan vs. Lazio game in Rome (2/2)

And you thought picking your nose was sexy! Wait, picking your nose is still considered sexy, right?

The Beckham's have a pretty nice vacation home

David and Victoria Beckham's villa on the island of Koh Samui in Thailand

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

"Awww, Tom, you shouldn't have."

David Beckham beat up a dude? The guy with the frosted tips? That David Beckham? Really? From TMZ:

David Beckham has been sued by a paparazzo who claims the soccer star and his bodyguard beat him up.

We just found the lawsuit, filed last month in L.A. County Superior Court, in which Emicles Da Mata claims on December 7, 2008, he had stopped his car on a Beverly Hills street when Beckham reached through the driver's window and grabbed his camera and attempted to wrestle it from him. Da Mata was holding the camera at the time.

The lawsuit claims Beckham's bodyguard -- also a defendant -- then beat him repeatedly, grabbed the camera and threw it in a trash can. Da Mata says he was injured and is suing for assault and battery, as well as emotional distress. He's seeking unspecified damages. (Source)

This story has to be fake. David just doesn't seem like the type of guy that would get into a fight. Really the only type of physical contact I could see him getting into with another man would involve wrestling . . . in speedos . . . lathered in several gallons of canola oil . . . glistening under the hot sun in my backyard's inflatable po -- errrrrrr, I mean, did you see Salma Hayek's tits at the Golden Globes? What a treat for us definitely straight men.