The father of David Banda, Madonna's adopted Malawian baby, remarried over the weekend. Banda's new wife, Flora Kamanga, is already pregnant and expecting Banda's child. London's Daily Mail describes the details of the wedding:
Peasant farmer Yohane Banda, 32, wed his second wife on a dusty school playing field, with a wedding feast of tripe and boiled cabbage, the Daily Mail of London reported. The 22-year-old bride wore a polyester wedding dress rented for about $3, and her groom donned a polyester double-breasted blue suit borrowed from his brother-in-law, with his own yellow shirt, red tie and black tennis shoes. More than 600 people gathered for the ceremony Thursday in Lipunga village, 100 miles from Malawi's capital Lilongwe.
Christ, was it really necessary for the Daily Mail to describe every damn detail of Yohane and Flora's wedding? They're poor. We get it. Why not end the story with a short paragraph about how they won't be going on a honeymoon because they can barely afford to eat. Or better yet, describe how the new couple collected the rice thrown at them so they could have a head start for the upcoming planting season.
In an interview with Time Magazine, Madonna uses some sort of weird retard-logic to justify her kidnapping of David Banda:
"There is a part of me that is secretly enjoying pissing people off, because I know that when you're pissing people off you're often doing the right thing."
Exactly Madonna! I've been telling people this for years but everyone always gives me weird looks and spit on me. Like the one time I showed up one of the local NAACP meeting wearing a Klan robe. A good time was had by all!
David Banda, Madonna's one-year-old son from Malawi with the kickass superhero name, has been spotted wearing a red string Kabbalah bracelet. According to Kabbalah literature, the red string fends off "the unfriendly stare and unkind glances we sometimes get from people around us." Regarding David's wearing the red string, one Kabbalah insider explained: "There's been so much evil eye sent in the direction of David and his mother that he needs this protection."
If you think a red bracelet helps fend off unfriendly stares, doesn't that technically make you insane? How is that any different from wearing a foil hat to keep the government from reading your thoughts? I know a piece of red string isn't exactly on the insanity level of building yourself a protective cocoon made of your own feces but it's still crazy. You don't get a free pass just because you've sold a few records and have a fake British accent. You can tell I'm a little bitter that the brown string bracelet didn't make me a tiger in the sack like the kabbalah salesman promised. THANKS LIAR
Splash News
Madonna is already spending thousands on her newly adopted son David. The singer called trendy Los Angeles baby store Petit Tresor at the beginning of the week and ordered the best cashmere winter clothes co-owner Nina Takesh had, from designers like CV and Larucci.
Takesh reveals, "She wanted very high-end, luxury winter products and items; very subtle European classic designs made of the finest materials and fabrics. ... It's the luxury of all luxuries." In total, Madonna spent almost $10,000 on baby clothes at Petit Tresor. Takesh adds, "A lot of money was spent on just absolutely beautiful items, close to $10,000."
I still don't trust Madonna with this whole adoption thing. Bringing another kid into her house just seems like a total ripoff of The Real World on MTV. Like next week she'll adopt some gay baby from the inner city and a frat baby from some huge University. When everyone starts questioning Madonna's motives, she'll explain that she just wanted to see what happens when people stop being polite, and start getting real. And then in about 20 years we'll see her and Angelina Jolie's horde of adoptees on some random Central American beach battling each other for Best Buy gift cards. Don't give me that look...like you haven't thought of this before?
According to
The Sun, Madonna adopted a 13-month-old Malawi boy named David today.
THE desperately poor father of the African tot being adopted by Madonna last night declared he was “so happy” the child was being whisked into a world of wealth. Yohane Banda, 32, earns just a few pounds a month growing potatoes and onions in a mud hut village in Malawi.But now his 13-month-old son David, also known as Davie, will grow up in luxurious splendour with the pop superstar — who has a fortune estimated at £248MILLION.
And you thought Africa was only good for conflict diamonds and safari vacations!
