Don't laugh at the slippers . . . he's European Soccer star Ronaldo gave an interview to
The Sun about what it was like coring out Paris Hilton like an apple a few weeks ago. The two
hooked up after meeting at My House nightclub in Hollywood. Ronaldo told the tabloid:
"She was a really cool girl and we had a great time talking. I am a young man and Paris a young lady, and us talking in a club is just what normal people our age do ... She lives thousands of miles away and is busy, and I am busy in Madrid so I am not sure if we will be able to see each other ... I am just making the most of the short summer I get."
What could Ronaldo have possibly talked to Paris about for so long at the club? The only things those two have in common are an affinity for hair products and attention. Besides, "talking" isn't the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Paris at a club. You're more likely to see her
dry-humping,
cheating,
getting high, or permanently altering the appearance of more young men's genitals than a mohel.
Cristiano Ronaldo at the Beverly Hills Hotel (6/18)
My god, it's like looking into a mirror. I am so freaked out right now. I'm taking the rest of the day off.
Paris Hilton and Cristiano Ronaldo at My House nightclub in West Hollywood (6/10)
Even though he probably already deleted her phone number after
he tapped that ass last week, Paris Hilton has grand plans for her and soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. From UK tabloid
News of the World:
"We could be great together, you know. We're both so famous we'd become even bigger than David Beckham and Posh Spice. We're way hotter and younger than them anyway!" She was overheard at her sister Nicky's house, where the pair spent the night.
Afterwards Paris giggled to a friend: "I told him I'm going to move to Madrid to be with him. I promised."
The pal told us: "[Ex-boyfriend Doug Reinhardt] was just a washed-up reality TV star. All of a sudden there wasn't as much interest in Paris, and her appearance fees were cut dramatically. She was working like a dog to make the same amount of money as before. She knows if she wins over Ronaldo she'll be one of the hottest properties again."
I really don't see how this plan can fail whatsoever. It's foolproof. Because if there's one thing I know about 24-year-old multimillionaire athletes, it's that they're looking to settle down. By all means, Paris should sell her house in L.A and move to Madrid as soon as possible.
Paris Hilton leaving My Space nightclub in Hollywood (6/10)
Paris Hilton brought out the heavy guns -- her magic tits -- last night at Hollywood's My House nightclub, her first night out as a single woman in over four months. According to
The Sun, Paris wasted no time taking advantage of
her new freedom, hooking up with soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. A source told the tabloid:
"Cristiano and Paris were all over each other swapping spit the entire night! His table needed every waitress in the building to bring all the alcohol he was getting through to him. He spent in excess of $20,000 on champagne and drinks. He was having a great time."
The Portuguese star left the club with Paris at 3am and drove to Nicky's pad in West Hollywood. He was spotted leaving at 5am, sporting trademark grin.
Earlier this morning
it was revealed that Ronaldo's team -- Manchester United -- sold him to Spain's Real Madrid for $131 million. Coincidence? I think not. I mean, would you want to play with a guy who fucked Paris Hilton? Every time he passed me the ball, I'd dive to get out of the way. "I ain't touching that."
UPDATE: Now with 100% more photographic evidence, courtesy of
TMZ (
click here)
Nereida Gallardo got dumped
Remember Nereida Gallardo, the model that soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo went yachting with a few weeks ago? She got her ass dumped. Why? Because Ronaldo got bored of her. Ahhh, to be young. Wait . . . I am young. Ahhh, to be a katrillionaire. From UK tabloid The Sun:
Close pals told The Sun the Portuguese winker had grown "bored" of Spanish beauty Nereida's 32D charms. Nereida, 24, was still wearing a massive diamond ring Ronaldo bought her as she walked near her home in Majorca yesterday. She insisted: "This is all nonsense. I spoke to him today, like always. We are together. He told me he loves me and I him."But a source close to Ronaldo said: "Details of past relationships became known to Cristiano which he hadn't known before and he was unhappy. He had also become bored of the relationship. He's a young man and felt it was the right time." (Source)
What has this world come to when a soccer player can pull ass like that and a movie star gets stuck with this? For most normal guys Nereida would be the hottest piece of ass they ever pulled, for Ronaldo she's a typical Wednesday. And here I thought the only guys with that kind of power over women were Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and my roofies dealer.
[Splash News, Flynet]
Nereida Gallardo bikini pics! (Sardinia - 6/27)
Is there a "Year of the Soccer Player on Vacation with a Hot Piece of Ass" on the Chinese calendar? If not, there should be. FYI that's Manchester United's Cristiano Ronaldo and his girlfriend Nereida Gallardo on a yacht in Sardinia -- and I use the word "yacht" in the loosest sense possible. That thing barely looks 50 feet. I don't even see a helipad. Loser.
