Criss Angel and his girlfriend in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (7/16)
According to Flynet, that's Criss Angel and his new girlfriend on vacation in Mexico yesterday. Wait, what about him and Holly? I didn't even know he had a new girlfriend. I, I have so many questions about her. What is her name? Where is she from? When does she start her sophomore year of high school? Is she gonna try try out for varsity cheer?
Holly Madison at Prive nightclub in Las Vegas (6/26)
Criss Angel must have some incriminating pictures of Holly Madison or something because incredibly, she crawled back to him again. From Star:
The former Girls Next Door star, 30, and Criss, 41, who split in March after four months, have secretly reconnected since she moved from L.A. to Sin City, where he also performs.
“Holly still had feelings for Criss, so around mid-June she gave him a call,” says a source. “She was thrilled when he asked to meet for drinks. They’ve seen each other a few times since!”
Kids, this is why you should want to be just like Criss when you grow up. Sure being a teacher, circus clown, or drunken vagrant may be more prestigious, but they don't have the perks that come with being a magician. Through his knowledge of black magic and sorcery, Chris gained possession of some kind of mystical amulet that enables him to control the minds of beautiful young women. I believe it's called "money."
Holly Madison is severing all ties with Playboy. She recently quit her job at the magazine to spend more time in Las Vegas with her boyfriend Criss "Douche" Angel. From TMZ:
We're told the former Hugh Hefner hanger-on resigned her position as Playmate editor (whatever that means) for Playboy magazine -- all because she wants to spend more time in Las Vegas with the world's lamest illusionist.
Our sources say she's been nonexistent at the Playboy workplace for awhile now. (Source)
What a blow to the magazine. One can only hope Hef finds someone soon to fill Holly's role of showing up occasionally and asking dumb questions. "Why are cameras called cameras?"
Is Criss "don't call me Chris" Angel trying to sound like a pussy? If so, bravo dude, bravo. Very well played. From People:
The illusionist and his girlfriend, Girls Next Door star Holly Madison, smooched and snuggled together Friday night as they celebrated their joint birthdays at Las Vegas's LAX Nightclub.
"I don't want anything for Christmas," Angel, 41, told People. "I just want Holly, love, health and happiness, and I have all of those things." As for his birthday request, he said, "I'm hoping Holly will just put a bow in her head and that will be my present." (Source)
For once I actually agree with Criss Angel. There's only one thing a guy could possibly want from Holly on his birthday that would be worthwhile: her body . . . oh, and having her teeth, vocal chords, and last boyfriend's denture marks removed. It's kind of sweet to see these two in love. It almost makes you overlook the fact that he's a glorified birthday party clown, and that she used to be a concubine.
Criss Angel and Holly Madison at the premiere of "Believe" Luxor in Las Vegas (11/1)
There were rumors this douche bag was tapping Holly, but now I guess they wouldn't be considered rumors. Please tell me this is another one of his illusions. "And for my next trick, I will kidnap a certain special someone's family and force her to make out with me against her will."
Criss Angel embarrassed "psychic" Jim Callahan last night on a live taping of the NBC show Phenomenon. After Callahan completed a stunt in which the spirit of author Raymond Hill helped him guess the contents of a mystery box, Angel (one of the show's judges along with Uri Geller) challenged the psychic to tell him what was in the envelope he was holding. For a million dollars. In other words, do what you normally do but this time you get a million dollars for it. And hey, shock, he couldn't do it! The details from Access Hollywood:
“Criss, I can see you’re itching to say something,” noted “Phenomenon” host and Access Hollywood’s Tim Vincent .
“I just think it’s comical quite frankly,” Angel said.
Angel then pulled an envelope from his pocket and appeared to challenge, not only Callahan’s abilities, but also those of his fellow judge Geller.
“I will give you a million dollars of my personal money right now if either one of you can tell me specific details of what’s in here right now,” Angel insisted.
The challenge clearly didn’t sit well with the contestant.
“Ok man, I’ll tell you what I will tell you. I find you an ideological bigot,” Callahan responded as he made his way towards Angel.
“Tell me what’s in the envelope,” Angel kept repeating.
Angel then got out of his seat to meet Callahan, as Geller and Vincent came between the two men and separated them. (Source)
Whatever Criss it's not about the money, it's about the art. It's about the art of providing false hope to shattered parents who are honestly convinced you're communicating with their dead son because a few of those vague generalizations you've been telling them for past hour may kinda have something to do with their son ("He liked sports! How did you know?"). It's about puncuating those vague generalizations with enough crazy hand motions and fake convulsions to justify the $299 hour fee. It's about that Criss. Hater