Courtney Love and her boyfriend in Malibu (6/28)
I'm not really sure what Courtney Love was doing in Malibu over the weekend, but it looks like she was trying to scare the crap out of the old, rich white people. "Ahhhhh, a homeless person, ruuuuuuuuun!!!"
Courtney loves meds
Check out all the pills Courtney Love had with her last night while leaving a club in London. And that's just the stuff she carries in her purse. Her house must look like a god damn Rite Aid. I bet roofies have absolutely no effect on her. If she was a superhero, her power would a superhuman resistance to date rape.
[WENN]
Bauer-Griffin
I wanted to hold off posting these pictures of Courtney Love in London last night until everyone had finished lunch. Did you know gravity has a 27% stronger affect on Courtney than a normal human being? Some guy with glasses did a study one time. He had a bunsen burner and everything. It was pretty official.
NOTE: If you hate yourself, click here (barely SFW)
Splash News
The boyfriend of designer Marc Jacobs, Jason Preston, caused quite a stir when he showed up to a New York fashion show on Monday wearing a dead mouse on his jacket. According to witnesses Preston said he couldn't take off the mouse brooch because "Courtney [Love] gave it to me." Sorry about the pic--I searched forever for a shot of Preston with Love but came up empty. I settled for a pic of him hanging out with this hilarious Courtney Love impersonator. I swear, with a full makeup case and an hour of free time, trannys can work absolute magic.
Courtney Love responded to those rumors I posted yesterday that she had undergone gastric bypass surgery to lose a whole bunch of weight. Actually "responded" is a being a bit generous. From her website (all errors, of course, are Courtney's own):
# court said on 12 Apr 2007 at 5:46 amoh perez got it from pge six nd ots bullshit
i couldnt get that suregry iof i begged for it
FDA says you have to have a BMI of above 40 and that equals at least being 100 pounds overweight at least other wsie its ILLEGAL.
I know spmeone who troed to get that shit and no dr would give it to her an dhse was pudgier than i was, its total utter shite, i lost weightthe hard way and people cant accept it,whwnever ANYONE loses weight by determintaion and grit fast its suspect i got muyinspirationf rom Oprah losing so much weight on Slim Fast,. thats how i did it, thio sis nonsesne my breath is great and i dont “vomit inot a towel” it sjust cynical crazy bullshit,
i started weight training three days go to get rid of the saggy ass and loose tummy i pln on hving perrrfect six pack by summer, and be extra strong so when i play shows ill be strong nd not weak,
Thizs is bullshit as is the tummy tuck rumour or the 200k in liopo rumpur ( you dont lose eoght all over from lipo) ( noone loses more than 15 lbs from lipo ever they “resculpt”) thi sisjust nnoying gross BULLSHIT. from people who cant lose wieght through ld fashioned discipline but dont think for second if it was legal i wouldnt think bout it sure i would but losing ll you rintesines doesnt appeal to me and im ton macro so i dont get cancer ( i kno wthe smnoking hs to go) banding s supposed to up your vchances for colon cancer as well as other terroble health problems,
again this is BULLSHIT. i worked my ss off and m always fucking hingry though ive gotten used to it, bno dr in the world would give me gastric bypass or gastric banding i dont meet the pproval of ny western country , it would be illegal and im[ossible fvor me to find dr to perform this surgery on me.
zso thats THAT.
Jealous Cynical people who anta cceopt that somneone cn lose alot of weight the old fshioned wy ive exercised mya ss off obv iously not enough in my stomach but xdone tons and tons aof cardio, so enough said on this nonsense jealous cynical lie.
good night.
OK, it looks like Courtney didn't have the gastric bypass surgery. But it does appear that she's huffing paint thinner again. Dammit Courtney, I've seen "the thin"--as we called it on the 'bee circuit--destroy the lives of too many up and coming spellers. Seek help. Please
You mean to tell me Courtney Love didn't lose all that weight through hard work and willpower. SHOCKING! From today's New York Post:
Love insists her fabulous new figure is due to diet and exercise, but a friend said, "She's telling people she got the gastric band surgery. She even said she had to sleep with a towel by her because the surgery makes her [vomit] all the time and is worried she won't be able to make out with anyone because of her breath."But a rep for Love, who says she's dragged him to healthy macrobiotic restaurants, insists, "Not true. She says she never got surgery." Either way, she looks great.
If the gastric band can shrink her stomach, someone might want to schedule her for vaginal band surgery. That thing's as cavernous as the gap between Michael Strahan's teeth! And who's making out with her anyway? I know Tijuana prostitutes (personally) that don't look as beat up as she does. As for that towel she has to sleep with, it's not for vomit, it's for the yellow discharge--I think doctors call it gonorrhea or something. In conclusion, I totally agree with the New York Post: Courtney looks great!
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say alcohol was a contributing factor to this hook-up between two very well known celebs over the weekend. From today's New York Daily News:
Bruce Willis celebrated turning 52 last week, and one of his presents was a makeout session with Courtney Love. The unlikely couple were spotted in flagrante canoodle March 19 at the Roxy nightclub on Sunset Blvd. "They were full-on making out," laughs a witness. The venue was packed for a 9 p.m. performance by boozy Brit rocker Amy Winehouse.
Bruce had to be black-out drunk to kiss Courtney Love, right? "Wait, wait, wait, I made out with who? Ahhhh crap!" had to be the first thing out of his mouth when he picked up Monday's Daily News. And then maybe a few gargled screams as the bleach he was chugging to stave off courtneyloveinfection slowly made its way down his trachea.
This might be my favorite story ever written involving Courtney Love taking a stand against drugs and a random Jewish dude taking a stand against Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. From the New York Daily News:
Courtney Love claims on her Web site that there was a big pile of white powder in the rest room at Paris Hilton's birthday party on Oscar eve. Now the head of the Foundation for Jewish Camping is skeptical about Paris and Nicole Richie's stint as camp counselors on the next season of "The Simple Life." "Counselors are trained, recruited, and tested," said Jerry Silverman. "We take [it] very seriously." (Source)
WTF? Courtney Love complaining about drugs at a party is like Charles Manson complaining to the warden because another inmate told an off-color joke at lunchtime. What happened to the old Courtney Love? The one that would have dove into that pile of cocaine like Star Jones into a bowl of ice cream. Sobriety freaking sucks.
In completely unrelated news, a "Foundation for Jewish Camping" exists.
