Courtney Love is stealing money from her daughter What's a country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the United States? Uganda? OK, Courtney Love should immediately move there. From Bill Zwecker at the
Chicago Sun Times:
I've learned that Courtney Love could be in even more trouble, in the wake of losing custody of her daughter Frances Bean Cobain. Word has it, an initial audit of the accounts Love managed on behalf of her daughter indicates huge discrepancies. It appears Love might have misappropriated hundreds of thousands of dollars -- perhaps as much as a million -- from funds belonging to Frances, mostly due from her father's estate.
In all seriousness, the only way Francis Bean is ever going to end up with a dime of her father's estate is if she cuts off her mom's nose. That thing's more of a money pit than the war in Afghanastan. If Francis Bean wants to have any cash by the time she turns 18, she's going to have to earn it herself by doing one of two things: 1. Get a paper route, or 2. Fuck Tiger Woods.
Courtney Love in Dazed & Confused magazine (January)
I don't know whose idea it was to have Courtney Love wear a see-through outfit for this photoshoot, but congratulations, I fucking hate you. For Christmas, I hope you get an iPod and a rare tropical disease.
NOTE: To see the uncensored pics of
Courtney Love's boobs, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.
Lookin' good Courtney . . . I know DJ Qualls (
pic here) ain't exactly Brad Pitt, but making out with Courtney Love? Really dude? That's just gross. From the
New York Post:
Courtney Love enjoyed some Thanksgiving action with an early hours party at a hot club followed by a visit to a strip joint with skinny actor DJ Qualls. The Hole rocker hit it off with "Road Trip" star Qualls as she partied at 1Oak with her bandmates. As Nirvana tracks played on the sound system, Love started making out with Qualls in front of astonished onlookers. In true Courtney style, she then dragged Qualls -- a close pal of "Twilight" actress Nikki Reed -- off to Scores until the early hours of Thanksgiving morning. A source said, "Courtney was partying at 1Oak with her band and Qualls, who was on the next table, introduced himself. They hit it off and ended up talking very closely and making out. She was all over him. Courtney then dragged him and her band to Scores."
God I hope these two are using protection. Can you imagine DJ Qualls knocking up Courtney Love? The doctor wouldn't know if he was delivering a baby or a character from a Wes Craven film. He'd probably try to push it back in.
Courtney Love out and about in New York (8/17)
I swear, every time I see Courtney Love, she's somehow gotten whiter. How is this possible? She's blending into the freaking pavement. She's so bright that she can actually power a solar car. True story.
Courtney Love is disgusting Run. Run away as far as you can from this story and never look back. I'm talking Forrest Gump style. From the
New York Post:
IT only took Courtney Love eight hours to trash her high-end hotel room at The Inn on Irving Place. While the rocker was visiting New York on June 17 with her 16-year-old daughter, Frances Bean, sources say Love completely ruined her accommodations. The hard-partying 44-year-old widow of Kurt Cobain left dirty needles and used feminine hygiene products behind, according to sources, and also flooded the floor.
"She caused so much damage in eight hours and wreaked so much havoc. It was actually kind of funny . . . minus the $5,000 in repairs," one insider told us.
For all of the bulimic Celebslam readers out there that hadn't regurgitated yet today, I hope this article about Courtney Love's "used feminine hygiene products" helped do the trick. Let's just hope that the person that had to clean up after she left was given a hazmat suit -- because there's only one thing on Earth known to be more toxic than Courtney Love's blood:
VX gas radioactive waste Citigroup stock Paris Hilton's uterus. Did you know it actually glows?
Pam Anderson at Malibu Beach (1/18)
It's official. Pam Anderson is trailer trash. Courtney Love revealed to the
New York Post that the former Playboy model has fallen upon hard times recently and is now living in a trailer park in Malibu:
"Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove -- which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu."
A quick check on the Internet reveals that a double-wide trailer in the park costs around $325,000 -- and on the high side, homes are around $1.2 million. The blond bombshell's manager didn't return our e-mails.
Well, you know what they say about destiny: It works in totally predictable ways. Pam was always gonna end up in a trailer park. It was God's plan. Just like it was his plan for me to nail that hot Swedish exchange student on Saturday night. I'd like to think that was his reward for all the time I've been putting in lately at the soup kitchen. And since Helga lacked a gag reflex, I think that was God's way of telling me he wants me to put in more hours.
Mickey Rourke at the BAFTA Awards in London (2/8)
Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love are rumored to be . . . dating. *pukes in mouth* A source told the
Mirror:
"Courtney has quite a crush on Mickey and finds him utterly compelling. They've known each other for years - she's stuck by him through the good times and the bad. Now he's back on the Hollywood A-list he's gone up another notch in the desirability stakes.
"Mickey texted Courtney totally out of the blue, around the time of the Golden Globes, asking to take her out for the night. They met up in secret and had an awesome evening. Let's just say they didn't stop at holding hands and a chaste peck on the cheek. They were supposed to hook up after the Elle bash and share a hotel suite. I think Courtney was banking on it. But Mickey was suffering from the BAFTAs the night before and appeared to be lapping up all the attention from women." (Source)
Can you imagine if these two ever reproduced? Their baby would look like
Kuato from
Total Recall. Besides, what's Mickey doing with Courtney Love anyway? After all of his recent success, he could be with tons of better-looking women like Rosie O'Connell, Amy Winehouse, or Clay Aiken. Of course, we all know what Courtney sees in Mickey: he reminds her of what her ex-husband looks like . . . now.
UPDATE: Mickey was asked by a paparazzo in New York
last night if it was true that he was dating Courtney Love. He replied that he'd rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla. I think that means Courtney and him are on a break.
Madonna looks greatIf Madonna kills herself within the next few days, I'm pretty sure it'll be because of this article. From the
Chicago Sun Times:
I'm hearing Madonna is none too happy with Courtney Love for morphing herself to mirror the Material Mom's current look. Madonna was further irked when she heard Love was mistaken for her at least a half-dozen times this past week in several London clubs and one restaurant -- where the maitre d' gave Love a better table, thinking she was Madonna! (Source)
Wow. If I were Madonna, I'd be pretty pissed too. You know you're starting to look like crap if people are confusing you with Courtney Love. Unfortunately for Madonna, she's got only one option to end all the mistaken identity: light herself on fire. Of course there's one slight drawback to that idea: she'll be confused with Mickey Rourke.
Courtney Love leaving The Groucho Club in London (2/11)
Though she never reported the incident to police, Courtney Love is claiming to her friends that a group of gunmen stormed her home recently and demanded to talk to one of her "associates." What the hell is this,
24? A source told the
National Enquirer:
"Courtney said she threw a major fit, ordered them to leave and threatened to call police. She claims there were about nine of them, and she thought they were private detective-types. One of them supposedly had a police radio and video monitoring equipment. And when one demanded to see Courtney's associate, he shoved a gun in her chest. The individual they wanted to speak to appeared and talked with the men, convincing them it was all a misunderstanding. The men drove off, but Courtney's been frightened for life." (Print Edition - 2/16)
The most likely explanation behind this whole episode is that Courtney Love hallucinated it while having a bad trip. Now think about that for a moment. How much smack would it take to make COURTNEY LOVE bug out? A pound? Two? A Ton? That chick's body is so immune to drugs, there's only one way she could get stoned at this point: if she broke a law in Afghanastan.
Courtney Love leaving The Groucho Club in London (2/10)
Sorry about the headline. I know it's kind of redundant. I mean, has Courtney Love ever not been drunk? Yes. When she was four.
