Recently in Courtney Love Category

Courtney Love is disgusting

Run. Run away as far as you can from this story and never look back. I'm talking Forrest Gump style. From the New York Post:

IT only took Courtney Love eight hours to trash her high-end hotel room at The Inn on Irving Place. While the rocker was visiting New York on June 17 with her 16-year-old daughter, Frances Bean, sources say Love completely ruined her accommodations. The hard-partying 44-year-old widow of Kurt Cobain left dirty needles and used feminine hygiene products behind, according to sources, and also flooded the floor.

"She caused so much damage in eight hours and wreaked so much havoc. It was actually kind of funny . . . minus the $5,000 in repairs," one insider told us.

For all of the bulimic Celebslam readers out there that hadn't regurgitated yet today, I hope this article about Courtney Love's "used feminine hygiene products" helped do the trick. Let's just hope that the person that had to clean up after she left was given a hazmat suit -- because there's only one thing on Earth known to be more toxic than Courtney Love's blood: VX gas radioactive waste Citigroup stock Paris Hilton's uterus. Did you know it actually glows?

Pam Anderson at Malibu Beach (1/18)

It's official. Pam Anderson is trailer trash. Courtney Love revealed to the New York Post that the former Playboy model has fallen upon hard times recently and is now living in a trailer park in Malibu:

"Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove -- which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu."

A quick check on the Internet reveals that a double-wide trailer in the park costs around $325,000 -- and on the high side, homes are around $1.2 million. The blond bombshell's manager didn't return our e-mails.

Well, you know what they say about destiny: It works in totally predictable ways. Pam was always gonna end up in a trailer park. It was God's plan. Just like it was his plan for me to nail that hot Swedish exchange student on Saturday night. I'd like to think that was his reward for all the time I've been putting in lately at the soup kitchen. And since Helga lacked a gag reflex, I think that was God's way of telling me he wants me to put in more hours.

Mickey Rourke at the BAFTA Awards in London (2/8)

Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love are rumored to be . . . dating. *pukes in mouth* A source told the Mirror:

"Courtney has quite a crush on Mickey and finds him utterly compelling. They've known each other for years - she's stuck by him through the good times and the bad. Now he's back on the Hollywood A-list he's gone up another notch in the desirability stakes.

"Mickey texted Courtney totally out of the blue, around the time of the Golden Globes, asking to take her out for the night. They met up in secret and had an awesome evening. Let's just say they didn't stop at holding hands and a chaste peck on the cheek. They were supposed to hook up after the Elle bash and share a hotel suite. I think Courtney was banking on it. But Mickey was suffering from the BAFTAs the night before and appeared to be lapping up all the attention from women." (Source)

Can you imagine if these two ever reproduced? Their baby would look like Kuato from Total Recall. Besides, what's Mickey doing with Courtney Love anyway? After all of his recent success, he could be with tons of better-looking women like Rosie O'Connell, Amy Winehouse, or Clay Aiken. Of course, we all know what Courtney sees in Mickey: he reminds her of what her ex-husband looks like . . . now.

UPDATE: Mickey was asked by a paparazzo in New York last night if it was true that he was dating Courtney Love. He replied that he'd rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla. I think that means Courtney and him are on a break.

Madonna looks great

If Madonna kills herself within the next few days, I'm pretty sure it'll be because of this article. From the Chicago Sun Times:

I'm hearing Madonna is none too happy with Courtney Love for morphing herself to mirror the Material Mom's current look. Madonna was further irked when she heard Love was mistaken for her at least a half-dozen times this past week in several London clubs and one restaurant -- where the maitre d' gave Love a better table, thinking she was Madonna! (Source)

Wow. If I were Madonna, I'd be pretty pissed too. You know you're starting to look like crap if people are confusing you with Courtney Love. Unfortunately for Madonna, she's got only one option to end all the mistaken identity: light herself on fire. Of course there's one slight drawback to that idea: she'll be confused with Mickey Rourke.

Courtney Love leaving The Groucho Club in London (2/11)

Though she never reported the incident to police, Courtney Love is claiming to her friends that a group of gunmen stormed her home recently and demanded to talk to one of her "associates." What the hell is this, 24? A source told the National Enquirer:

"Courtney said she threw a major fit, ordered them to leave and threatened to call police. She claims there were about nine of them, and she thought they were private detective-types. One of them supposedly had a police radio and video monitoring equipment. And when one demanded to see Courtney's associate, he shoved a gun in her chest. The individual they wanted to speak to appeared and talked with the men, convincing them it was all a misunderstanding. The men drove off, but Courtney's been frightened for life." (Print Edition - 2/16)

The most likely explanation behind this whole episode is that Courtney Love hallucinated it while having a bad trip. Now think about that for a moment. How much smack would it take to make COURTNEY LOVE bug out? A pound? Two? A Ton? That chick's body is so immune to drugs, there's only one way she could get stoned at this point: if she broke a law in Afghanastan.

Courtney Love leaving The Groucho Club in London (2/10)

Sorry about the headline. I know it's kind of redundant. I mean, has Courtney Love ever not been drunk? Yes. When she was four.

Britney Spears is stealing Courtney Love's shtick

I hope Britney Spears doesn't think that going crazy makes her special or something. Courtney Love totally did it first. Courtney told British Elle:

While Britney Spears rebuilds her post-breakdown image, another singing celeb is busy reminding fans she's been there, done that. Or at least the breakdown part. In an interview with the British edition of Elle magazine, Courtney Love called dibs on the public fall from grace.

"I had a long, hard fall. I set the stage for Britney to crash and burn. I went through it all first . . . My daughter knows I did drugs in my first trimester of pregnancy. She weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces when she was born and she was healthy. We were excellent parents, and I say that despite pretty much always having an edge on." (Source)

After Courtney proclaimed "We were excellent parents," she went on to say "except for all of the dangerous toxins we ingested, which in Curt's case, was lead." Claiming you were a great parent when your nights we filled with drug induced hallucinations and your days were spent letting your veins recuperate is a bit of a leap . . . which coincidentally would have been Curt's ideal method had he not lived in a one story house.

Courtney Love shopping in Malibu (9/16)

Did you know that every time Courtney Love flips off the paparazzi while high on meth, an angel gets its wings? True story.

[Flynet, Splash News]

The most normal thing Courtney's done this year

Courtney Love revealed on her MySpace blog late last week that she has an alter ego. Of course she does. Apparently typing out her message using a basketball, Courtney wrote:

just want to hank allyou supportive lovely people and thank you for putting up with my kookoo bananas alter ego should; we give her a name?

shoudl we give my alter ego a name? hmnmmmm Cherry! "Cherry kookoo" so if /when im overcome and blog again wich i wont do i took a picture of a friend looking at me rather sternly to remind me not to- well know it was Cherry Kookoo, but i think I've killed her off.

back to my shopping basket! Your support means the world to me i read every comment!

rock on (Source)

I know the obvious reaction to Courtney's admission is to call her crazy and possibly have her institutionalized against her will, but let's think about this for a second. If her alter ego is into showering and only getting high 3-4 times/week instead of the usual 7-10, this is really a win-win situation for all involved.

Courtney Love and her boyfriend in Malibu (6/28)

I'm not really sure what Courtney Love was doing in Malibu over the weekend, but it looks like she was trying to scare the crap out of the old, rich white people. "Ahhhhh, a homeless person, ruuuuuuuuun!!!"