Archive: Courtney Love

The most normal thing Courtney’s done this year

Courtney Love revealed on her MySpace blog late last week that she has an alter ego. Of course she does. Apparently typing out her message using a basketball, Courtney wrote:

just want to hank allyou supportive lovely people and thank you for putting up with my kookoo bananas alter ego should; we give her a name?
shoudl we give my alter ego a name? hmnmmmm Cherry! “Cherry kookoo” so if /when im overcome and blog again wich i wont do i took a picture of a friend looking at me rather sternly to remind me not to- well know it was Cherry Kookoo, but i think I’ve killed her off.
back to my shopping basket! Your support means the world to me i read every comment!
rock on (Source)

I know the obvious reaction to Courtney’s admission is to call her crazy and possibly have her institutionalized against her will, but let’s think about this for a second. If her alter ego is into showering and only getting high 3-4 times/week instead of the usual 7-10, this is really a win-win situation for all involved.

[Pacific Coast News]

Courtney Love and her boyfriend in Malibu (6/28)

I’m not really sure what Courtney Love was doing in Malibu over the weekend, but it looks like she was trying to scare the crap out of the old, rich white people. “Ahhhhh, a homeless person, ruuuuuuuuun!!!”

[Pacific Coast News]

Kurt Cobain’s ashes stolen

Courtney Love claims the ashes of her late husband Kurt Cobain were recently stolen. After the Nirvana frontman died in 1994, Love kept some of his ashes and scattered the rest in New York and Washington. She told UK tabloid News of the World:

“I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me. I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal (Ed. Note: When is this bitch not suicidal?). If I don’t get them back I don’t know what I’ll do. The sad news will sicken the millions of Cobain and Nirvana fans worldwide. They were all I had left of my husband. I used to take them everywhere with me just so I could feel Kurt was still with me. Now it feels like I have lost him all over again.” (Source)

There’s a good chance those ashes ended up in the same place that every other powdery substance Courtney comes into contact with lands: up her nose. However, I can think of one very good reason why she wouldn’t have wanted to snort Curt’s remains: they’ve probably got a higher lead content than Chinese toys! And it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Curt’s ashes are all Courtney “had left of her husband” since apparently she’s pawned just about everything else of his for pharmacy school tuition

Courtney loves meds

Check out all the pills Courtney Love had with her last night while leaving a club in London. And that’s just the stuff she carries in her purse. Her house must look like a god damn Rite Aid. I bet roofies have absolutely no effect on her. If she was a superhero, her power would a superhuman resistance to date rape.

[WENN]

Bauer-Griffin

I wanted to hold off posting these pictures of Courtney Love in London last night until everyone had finished lunch. Did you know gravity has a 27% stronger affect on Courtney than a normal human being? Some guy with glasses did a study one time. He had a bunsen burner and everything. It was pretty official.

NOTE: If you hate yourself, click here (barely SFW)

Bauer-Griffin

Don’t stare directly at it or your penis will turn to stone. Swear to god. Happened to a friend of a friend.

Splash News

The boyfriend of designer Marc Jacobs, Jason Preston, caused quite a stir when he showed up to a New York fashion show on Monday wearing a dead mouse on his jacket. According to witnesses Preston said he couldn’t take off the mouse brooch because “Courtney [Love] gave it to me.” Sorry about the pic–I searched forever for a shot of Preston with Love but came up empty. I settled for a pic of him hanging out with this hilarious Courtney Love impersonator. I swear, with a full makeup case and an hour of free time, trannys can work absolute magic.

Pacific Coast News

Cut Courtney Love some slack (shopping in SoHo today). You’d be angry too if you couldn’t tie your shoes . . . Oops did I say “couldn’t tie your shoes”–I meant “were as ugly as Courtney Love.”

Courtney Love responded to those rumors I posted yesterday that she had undergone gastric bypass surgery to lose a whole bunch of weight. Actually “responded” is a being a bit generous. From her website (all errors, of course, are Courtney’s own):

# court said on 12 Apr 2007 at 5:46 am

oh perez got it from pge six nd ots bullshit
i couldnt get that suregry iof i begged for it
FDA says you have to have a BMI of above 40 and that equals at least being 100 pounds overweight at least other wsie its ILLEGAL.
I know spmeone who troed to get that shit and no dr would give it to her an dhse was pudgier than i was, its total utter shite, i lost weightthe hard way and people cant accept it,whwnever ANYONE loses weight by determintaion and grit fast its suspect i got muyinspirationf rom Oprah losing so much weight on Slim Fast,. thats how i did it, thio sis nonsesne my breath is great and i dont “vomit inot a towel” it sjust cynical crazy bullshit,
i started weight training three days go to get rid of the saggy ass and loose tummy i pln on hving perrrfect six pack by summer, and be extra strong so when i play shows ill be strong nd not weak,
Thizs is bullshit as is the tummy tuck rumour or the 200k in liopo rumpur ( you dont lose eoght all over from lipo) ( noone loses more than 15 lbs from lipo ever they “resculpt”) thi sisjust nnoying gross BULLSHIT. from people who cant lose wieght through ld fashioned discipline but dont think for second if it was legal i wouldnt think bout it sure i would but losing ll you rintesines doesnt appeal to me and im ton macro so i dont get cancer ( i kno wthe smnoking hs to go) banding s supposed to up your vchances for colon cancer as well as other terroble health problems,
again this is BULLSHIT. i worked my ss off and m always fucking hingry though ive gotten used to it, bno dr in the world would give me gastric bypass or gastric banding i dont meet the pproval of ny western country , it would be illegal and im[ossible fvor me to find dr to perform this surgery on me.
zso thats THAT.
Jealous Cynical people who anta cceopt that somneone cn lose alot of weight the old fshioned wy ive exercised mya ss off obv iously not enough in my stomach but xdone tons and tons aof cardio, so enough said on this nonsense jealous cynical lie.
good night.

OK, it looks like Courtney didn’t have the gastric bypass surgery. But it does appear that she’s huffing paint thinner again. Dammit Courtney, I’ve seen “the thin”–as we called it on the ‘bee circuit–destroy the lives of too many up and coming spellers. Seek help. Please

You mean to tell me Courtney Love didn’t lose all that weight through hard work and willpower. SHOCKING! From today’s New York Post:

Love insists her fabulous new figure is due to diet and exercise, but a friend said, “She’s telling people she got the gastric band surgery. She even said she had to sleep with a towel by her because the surgery makes her [vomit] all the time and is worried she won’t be able to make out with anyone because of her breath.”

But a rep for Love, who says she’s dragged him to healthy macrobiotic restaurants, insists, “Not true. She says she never got surgery.” Either way, she looks great.

If the gastric band can shrink her stomach, someone might want to schedule her for vaginal band surgery. That thing’s as cavernous as the gap between Michael Strahan’s teeth! And who’s making out with her anyway? I know Tijuana prostitutes (personally) that don’t look as beat up as she does. As for that towel she has to sleep with, it’s not for vomit, it’s for the yellow discharge–I think doctors call it gonorrhea or something. In conclusion, I totally agree with the New York Post: Courtney looks great!