
Courteney Cox
Courteney Cox on the set of Bedtime Stories

Bauer-Griffin
Note to Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox: You're in Hawaii, wear a freaking bikini. What is with these two broads--they're so damn boring. Would it kill them to mix in the occasional sexy catfight? A little hair-pulling here, some shirt-tearing there and suddenly they're relevant again. You can tell I've thought about this . . . often.

David Arquette has been pretty desperate lately to set up Jennifer Aniston with a new dude (his wife Courteney Cox and Jen are best friends). Though Arquette claims he "adores" Jen, he's been feeling more and more left out of Courteney's life because of how much time she's spending with Aniston. According to Arquette:
"I feel like I'm married to two women," Arquette told pals, explaining why he's now asking every good-looking, successful, bachelor he runs into if they'd like him to set them up on a date with Jen! (Source)
Of course Jen is subconsciously trying to destroy her best friend's marriage. See, Jen is a bitch and that's what bitches do. That's their "thing." My "thing" happens to be Renaissance Faires. Yayyy, everyone look at me, I'm a lord! And you had the nerve to laugh at me in high school? Now who's getting all the escorts chicks!
Some pictures of Jennifer wearing a neat hat after the jump...