Conan O'Brien

George Lopez not exactly welcoming Conan O'Brien with open arms

All that stuff about George Lopez reaching out to Conan O'Brien to come to TBS? Complete crap. Here we go again. From the New York Post:

George Lopez's carefully staged delight at the arrival of Conan O'Brien to TBS is a total act, sources tell Page Six. In fact, Lopez was warned by network chiefs he would be axed if he didn't welcome O'Brien with open arms. "George was initially opposed to the idea of moving his time slot to make room for Conan on TBS," said a source. "He was told that if he wasn't supportive, his show would not be renewed. The Lopez camp is even more disheartened by the fact that Conan's contract states that if Lopez's show is canceled, then Conan will be able to develop a show for the midnight hour, as well . . . it's in Conan's best interest for Lopez's show to fail."

Does it really matter when Lopez Tonight is on? TBS could air that garbage in primetime and it'd still get lower ratings than the midnight programming on C-SPAN. Besides, if the public wanted to watch some jackass make a complete idiot out of themselves, they wouldn't tune in to see George Lopez -- they'd watch Kate Gosselin on Dancing with the Stars. Seriously, I've seen old washing machines with more rhythm than that bitch.

Conan O'Brien, coming to a TBS near you

In a move that shocked pretty much everybody today (except Gary Busey -- his face is just like that), Conan O'Brien announced that he's resurrecting his show on Fox TBS this November. From TMZ:

Sources tell TMZ the idea of bringing Conan to TBS was hatched by Turner's entertainment chief Steve Koonin.  We're told Koonin went to George Lopez and said he would only approach Conan if George gave his blessing.  We're told George immediately figured out that having Conan as an 11:00 PM lead-in would be nothing short of amazing for a midnight show.

With Lopez on board, we're told Koonin then approached Conan with the idea.  Conan's first reaction -- he didn't want to do to someone else what was done to him,  referring to NBC's decision to blindside Conan. Koonin told Conan that George had signed off, but Conan wanted to make sure.  George then called Conan to reassure him he was on board and thought they would be great partners.

We're told Koonin then began negotiations last week and the deal was done in days, even though the Fox deal was still alive.

As for why Conan chose TBS .... the average age of a "Lopez Tonight" viewer is 33, decades younger than the other late-night shows.  TBS is the future ... so thought Conan.

Please note that Jay Leno was unavailable to comment on Conan's move because he was too busy pushing crosswalk buttons at intersections all over L.A. even though he had no intention of crossing the street at all. What a dick that guy is!

*5 pics total in the gallery:

Conan O'Brien leaving The Ivy restaurant in Beverly Hills last April

Conan O'Brien left a little parting gift for Jeff Zucker and NBC on Friday night's show: a $500,000 bill. From the New York Daily News:

One of his final guests, Tom Hanks, entered the studio to the tune of The Beatles' "Lovely Rita," which may have cost the network half a million dollars.

Questlove, drummer for the band The Roots, tuned in to the episode and tweeted "yo i hate spoiling but i will have you know that walk on song we just heard was half a milli. i know cause i got the list rate at nbc."

The musician tweets on good authority, as The Roots are the house band for NBC's "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon."

"anytime you use the beatles on tv that will cost you dearly," he later added.

Damn, sticking it to the network for half-a-million is way better than my idea: lighting a paper bag full of dog shit on fire and leaving it in front of the studio. In my idea's defense, Jeff Zucker can't write off dog shit all over his shoe as a "business expense."

Conan O'Brien and NBC reach a settlement

NBC finally reached a deal with Conan O'Brien to leave the network. Friday's his last show and he won't be allowed to return to television until September 1. He also has to give up the rights to all of his skits, such as the Masturbating Bear and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, so get ready for the Masturbating Liger and Triumph the Insult Comic Monkey on Conan's new show. From ABC News:

After weeks of wrangling between "Tonight Show" host Conan O'Brien and NBC, "a deal is signed and an official announcement will be made this morning," the network confirmed today to ABC News.

O'Brien reportedly won't be allowed to take his best-known characters and skits with him when he leaves, NBC but The Wall Street Journal reports that O'Brien will receive a severance package of about $32 million while his staff will receive some $12 million. Staff severance was a sticking point in O'Brien's protracted negotiations with the network, his manager told ABCNews.com earlier this week.

The exit package also likely includes a "nondisaparagement" clause that would prevent O'Brien and NBC from saying negative things about one another for a set period of time.

One thing that's missing from O'Brien's agreement, however, is a rumored "mitigation" clause that would have allowed NBC to avoid paying at least some of O'Brien's severance if he gets another hosting job, according to entertainment gossip Web site TMZ.com.

You know what, I'm glad Conan took NBC to the cleaners. Rich white men have been screwed over and taken advantage of for too long in this country! It's about time someone stood up! Co-nan! Co-nan! Co-nan!

Jay Leno might be leaving NBC

Is Jay Leno set to follow in Conan's footsteps and leave NBC, too? No, never. But he has to make it seem like he's not a complete and total dick, so according to PopEater, yes:

Sources close to former 'Tonight Show' host Jay Leno tell me he is furious with the way NBC has treated him and Conan O'Brien and is considering walking away from the entire mess with his head held high. "Now that Conan has made it clear he is leaving the troubled network, Jay is considering doing the same. They have put Jay in a terrible position. It looks like he is the reason that Conan is now without a job. Jay is a great guy and it's not fair that due to NBC's stupidity he looks like the bad guy," a TV insider tells me.

"Plus, what happens when Jay does return to the 11:35 slot if his audience doesn't immediately follow? How can he possibly trust the same network that canceled Conan after only seven months?"

Remember yesterday when I said the only way Jeff Zucker could fuck this situation up more is if he replaced Conan with a comedian in blackface. Turns out I was wrong. He could still fuck this up more. Like, he could go back to 1939 and hire Hitler to replace Leno. "You hear about this? You hear about this? The President of Poland, Ignacy Mościcki, is upset that we invaded his country without a 'formal declaration of war.' Turns out I actually did have my secretary prepare a formal declaration . . . but my dog ate it! ZING! . . . And now Kevin Eubanks and the Third Reich Band. Kevin, take it away!"

Conan O'Brien out and about in L.A. (1/10)

Conan O'Brien issued a statement today in response to NBC's decision to fuck him in the ass by moving Jay Leno's show to 11:35 and pushing The Tonight Show back to 12:05. An excerpt (full statement on PAGE 2):

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision. . . .

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

Yours,

Conan

Way to go CEO of NBC Jeff Zucker. Way to take one of the last funny guys on late night television and take a very public shit on him. Pretty much the only way he could fuck this situation up more is if he replaces Conan with some comedian in blackface. "It was funny in the '30s so I don't see why it can't be funny now."