Clay Aiken leaving Shubert Theatre in New York (9/24)
Clay Aiken only got $500,000 from People magazine for both the exclusive first pics of his baby and revelation about his attraction for Adam, not Eve. Apparently the slumping economy means the multimillion dollar sums paid for exclusive baby pics are a thing of the past. An anonymous editor told MSNBC:
"Gone are the days when any celebrity gets millions of dollars for their photos. Economically, it doesn’t make sense, and there is only so long that you can keep saying "It’s good for the brand.' People is the magazine that’s most well-off, that has the finances right now to take on these exclusives." (Source)
In Clay's defense, $500k does buy a lot of assless chaps. Gay people are still into that, right? I haven't been with a man in months. I'm way out of touch.
UPDATE: OK, pun intended
It's incredible how much he looks like a lesbian
Jaymes Foster, the woman Clay Aiken knocked up (the "artificial insemination" way not the "why don't you slip on this ball gag and we'll make some memories" way) had a baby boy this morning. Parker Foster Aiken, weighing in at 6 pounds, 2 ounces, was born at 8:08 a.m. in an undisclosed location in Clay's home state of North Carolina. Not daring to get that close to a naked vagina, the singer barricaded himself in a Days Inn a few miles from the hospital during the birth. Clay expects to finally meet his new son in about a week or so once all that "yucky girl stuff" is washed off of it via a series of scalding baths.
Clay Aiken and the woman he couldn't bring himself to stick his penis into
Clay Aiken is gonna be a dad
Before you put those gay rumors to rest, wait until you read how it happened. Via TMZ:
Multiple sources tell us the mother is Jaymes Foster, a record producer and Clay's best friend. He lives at her home when he's in L.A.We're told Foster, who produced several Aiken CDs, is due in August. She's the sister of record mogul David Foster. We're told she's in her late 40's, though we could not confirm her exact age. She divorced a few years back and has no kids. Aiken is 29.
We're told Foster was artificially inseminated. But Clay is a lot more than sperm -- we're told he will have an active role in raising the child. (Source)
That's right folks, Clay Aiken knocked a chick up and he didn't even get laid. Guy is so afraid of vagina he had to be in another room during the moment of conception. "Daddy, tell us about when you made Mommy pregnant" . . . "Well Mommy was in L.A. and I was in Montana trying to put as much distance as possible between me and that disgusting chasm she has between her legs . . ."
The only way this story could get any gayer is if it was narrated by Lance Bass while show tunes played softly in the background.
Clay Aiken and Jaymes Foster
Clay Aiken has a fan
An obsessed fan is so in love with Clay Aiken that she's seen his Broadway show Spamalot more than 40 times. The New York Daily News says:
. . . one of the other actors asked her why she was so devoted to the carrot-topped crooner."She said, 'He is the Savior.' She is at the stage door from 9:30 in the morning, waiting all day to talk to people as they come in. She says talking to the other actors, she feels a step closer to Clay." (Source)
This fat* chick is doing it all wrong. If you're a desperate woman hellbent on stalking a guy, make sure A) the person is famous, B) that he wears less make-up than you, and C) won't scream "ewwwww, kooties!" when you show up naked in his bed. Also, I'm pretty sure Jesus isn't going to resurrect himself in the image of Clay. Liberace on the other hand . . .
*assumed
Clay Aiken at Planet Hollywood in Times Square (4/8)
Normally when he assumes that position, Barry Manilow music is playing softly in the background.
Clay Aiken doesn't like sex
Clay Aiken doesn't like sex. At all. Not even with himself. The American Idol alum admitted as much to New York magazine during an interview about his new role in the Broadway play "Monty Python's Spamalot" (running now until May 4). From the article:
[Clay] imagines his social life here will be "nonexistent, really. I'm not a nighttime person." He does not plan on dating, and he is not involved with anyone. "Heck, no," he says. "My dogs." He has never had a romantic relationship with anyone, unless you count the girls he took to dances back in high school in Raleigh. "I just don't have an interest in . . . any of that at all. I have got too much on my plate," he says. "I'd rather focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don't have any desire."But Aiken is 29 years old and he is also a human. Surely he must have needs. Urges. He contemplates this in silence for 20 or 30 seconds. "Ah think maybe I don't! I mean, not really. I've just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?" (Source)
Of course Clay Aiken's social life is "nonexistent" -- there's hardly enough room for HIM in his closet. Now, I'm not saying Clay is gay, I'm just saying he's about as straight as Lombard Street in San Francisco and Paris Hilton's left eye combined. If Clay had to choose between a lingerie-clad Adriana Lima and a steaming pile of shit, I'm not sure which one he'd find more repulsive. My choice between the two, of course, would ultimately come down to what color Adrinna's leggings were.
I can't believe I never noticed at the seven concerts I've been to but I guess Clay Aiken does this long cover medley of songs to entertain his audience. It drives the 13-year-old girls absolutely crazy. If you have a spare five minutes, I found a clip (longer clip here). FYI - Here's a list of songs in the medley:
Via one of my exclusive embedded sources, I managed to get my hands on a set list for the medley Clay's performing at Jones Hall in Houston, Texas TONIGHT:
Thanks ONTD
Clay Aiken is doing a horrible job silencing the gay rumors that seem to surface about him every half-day or so. From the New York Daily News:
Clay Aiken and a bevy of male chorus dancers partied into the wee hours at Cain nightclub over the weekend. The group was celebrating the forthcoming Off-Broadway show, "Idol: The Musical" which is all about Clay and his "Claymates," the fans who love him. The guaranteed-to-be-a-classic show begins previews July 5. Spies say the group ordered multiple bottles of Snow Queen vodka and poured into cabs together after a long night. (Source)
"Snow Queen vodka and male chorus dancers" ... those are the gayest seven words you will read in your entire life. If Clay's trying to stay in the closet, he's not doing a very good job of it--he might as well have worn a suit made of rainbow flags. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I own seven.
