Archive: Chris Rock

Chris Rock is not a rapist

Chris Rock is not a rapist
Santa Claus would never rape somebody

If you’re not familiar with the Anthony Pellicano story, let me provide a quick refresher. Former “P.I to the stars”. Did illegal stuff. Now on trial. During his trial yesterday an audiotape was played of a phone conversation between Pellicano and Chris Rock. Model Monika Zsibrita falsely claimed the comedian raped her back in 1998 (she also claimed she was pregnant with his kid which was also proven to be false). The model saved Rock’s semen on a Kleenex and put it in her freezer. The highlights of the tape (CLICK HERE to listen to it on PAGE 2):

8:15
CR: “I know the night we went to the Ivy she had on white pants. I only noticed cause my wife’s real classy and subdued and I’m out with a girl with big tits and white pants. It’s just, I know people were like, ‘heeey’.”

14:00
Pellicano (reading from report): “He tried to pull out and ejaculated on her thighs. She immediately got up and went to the bathroom where she cleaned up with a Kleenex. She put the Kleenex in her pocket.”

14:55
CR: I’ve been so set up…
AP: Did you come on her thighs?…
CR: I had a rubber on. I probably took it off right when I was getting ready to come. I probably came on her ass.

22:00
AP: Did you stick it in her? Without a rubber?
CR: No

See, this is why I secretly videotape all of my sexual encounters with fashion models. You just can’t be too careful nowadays. You don’t know what kind of freaks are out there.

CLICK HERE to listen to the audiotape on PAGE 2

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Chris Rock … you are NOT the father!

Chris Rock is not the baby daddy
Getty

Good news and bad news for Chris Rock this week. Good news? A recent paternity test proved the comedian wasn’t the father of Kali Bowyer’s 13-year-old son. Rock and his wife, Malaak Compton-Rock, issued the following statement yesterday:

“After multiple lies, including that Chris refused to establish paternity and after finding out [Bowyer] has an extensive criminal record, we personally asked the court to help us establish paternity . . . Last week, it was concluded through DNA testing that Chris is not the father.” The couple plans to pursue “all legal remedies” against Bowyer and are asking her to give any money she made from the tabloids to Georgia charities for disadvantaged boys and girls. (Source)

Bad news? His wife still has a hyphenated last name.

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