Cher


Cher leaving BBC Radio One Studios in London (10/15)

Cher is not a fan of Kim Kardashian's ass. She tells Sunday People that if she had an ass like Kim's, she'd look like an alien. In other words, Kim Kardashian looks like an alien. Chick fight! Chick fight!:
"There is a line in the song where I sing 'I wish I woke up with a butt and a rack'. I really do. But I will not be going under the knife. I've got a padded bra, it's a lot cheaper. And I don't want a Kim Kardashian butt because I'm so small I'd just look like an alien."
I can see how old lady Cher thinks that fatso Kim has an alien ass, but she's a bit off on what she's seeing. Kim's ass isn't actually extra terrestrial -- it's so disgustingly misshapen that most people who see it up close just assume it came from another planet. At this point, Kim's body looks like a giant butt plug (have a looksee in your mom's nightstand and you'll see what a giant butt plug looks like -- just remember to wash your hands when you're done). Cher's right, though. Female celebrities without curves are about as useful as piss-flavored chewing gum, and there's very little demand for that outside of the Kardashian household or R. Kelly's dating pool.

*15 Cher pictures total in the gallery:

  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 1
  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 2
  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 3
  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 4
  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 5
  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 6
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  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 9
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  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 11
  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 12
  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 13
  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 14
  • Cher Kim Kardashian Comments 15

Cher leaving La Vida restaurant in Hollywood (2/9)

Cher's not even fucking around anymore. She knows that if she wants to date a younger man, she's going to have to open up her checkbook. Get it? Because old people still use checks. From the National Enquirer:
Does Cher have a new boytoy? The Hollywood legend dropped a cool $20,000 on clothes for a hunky young guy at Barneys New York in Beverly Hills on March 20. The 63-year-old Oscar winner personally helped the handsome 30-something select jeans, jackets, shirts and shoes before she plunked down her credit card and flashed him a dazzling smile. The "Moonstruck" star seemed lovestruck.
Is having to date Cher worth $20,000 in clothing? No . . . unless part of the ensemble is a sleep mask for you and a muzzle for her. Besides, Cher doesn't need to go around buying guys clothes for their affection. She just needs to date the kind of person that apparently doesn't care about someone's advanced age or grotesque appearance -- like Larry King's wife or Soon-Yi.

  • Thumbnail: Cher Younger Boyfriend 1
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  • Thumbnail: Cher Younger Boyfriend 5
  • Thumbnail: Cher Younger Boyfriend 1
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  • Thumbnail: Cher Younger Boyfriend 4
  • Thumbnail: Cher Younger Boyfriend 5

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