Chelsea Handler

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LIFE PRO TIP: If you're ever at Chelsea Handler's house and she offers you a piece of fruit, wash it. For the love of God, wash it.

[Instagram]



Does Chelsea Handler actually own a top?

Here's Chelsea Handler topless yet again, this time while water skiing on the 4th (video on Page 2). You gotta give her some credit. She's against tan lines, a stand fully backed by her actions. She's better than me. I'm against hunger in Africa and I never buy those kids on the infomercials.

*2 Chelsea Handler pictures total in the gallery:

  • Chelsea Handler Topless Water Skiing 1

Topless Chelsea Handler. Again.

It's been days since Chelsea Handler last showed her boobs to the internet, so here she is floating around topless on vacation. I can't help but get the feeling that if Josh Duggar's sisters acted more like this, he wouldn't have been forced to accidentally touch them while they slept. #itstheirfault #prayforjosh

*4 Chelsea Handler pictures total in the gallery:

  • Topless Chelsea Handler Boobs 1
  • Topless Chelsea Handler Boobs 2

It's Chelsea Handler's ass

Because she was bored or something, Chelsea Handler posted a picture of her ass to Instagram on Monday. Great. We've seen her boobs too many times to count, and now we've seen her 40-year-old ass. Pretty much the only thing we haven't seen yet is her cock.

*2 Chelsea Handler pictures total in the gallery:

  • Chelsea Handler Butt Flash 1
  • Chelsea Handler Butt Flash 2

Chelsea Handler flashes her boobs again

Oh look, Chelsea Handler's boobs again. How. Exciting. Maybe all you ladies will luck out later and Larry King will tweet a picture of his wrinkled old balls.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Chelsea Handler boobs pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*2 Chelsea Handler pictures total in the gallery:

  • Chelsea Handler Speaker Boobs 1
  • Chelsea Handler Speaker Boobs 2

It's Chelsea Handler's nipples

Missed this last week, but Chelsea Handler tweeted another pics of her nipples:
Exercising my human right to work side by side with my fellow man. #amazon #freethenipple
On the upside, I fully support the #freethenipple movement and hope it will one day lead to Euro-style topless beaches in America. On the downside, I am now way too familiar with Chelsea Handler's leathery breasts and could probably pick them out of a lineup. If I could rewind my life and start over from six months ago, I totally would.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Chelsea Handler topless pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*3 Chelsea Handler pictures total in the gallery:

  • Chelsea Handler Nipples 1
  • Chelsea Handler Nipples 2
  • Chelsea Handler Nipples 3

Chelsea Handler shows her boobs

To take a stand against Instagram's policy against showing boobs, Chelsea Handler tweeted a Vladimir-Putin-esque picture of her boobs yesterday, daring the social media site to take it down. Which they did, of course. She wrote:
"Anything a man can do, a woman has the right to do better. #kremlin"

"Taking this down is sexist. I have every right to show I have a better body than Putin."

"If a man posts a photo of his nipples, it's ok, but not a woman? Are we in 1825?"

"If Instagram takes this down again, you're saying Vladimir Putin has more 1st amendment rights than me. Talk to your bosses."
Chelsea has a point. It's ridiculous that a man can show his chest, but a woman still can't. I mean, right Katy Perry? Right?!?

NOTE: To see the uncensored Chelsea Handler topless pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*4 Chelsea Handler pictures total in the gallery:

  • Chelsea Handler Boobs 1
  • Chelsea Handler Boobs 2
  • Chelsea Handler Boobs 3
  • Chelsea Handler Boobs 4

Jenna Jameson and Chelsea Handler are fighting 

The irony, it is so thick. From the New York Daily News:
"Chelsea handler makes fun of peoples kids... " Jameson tweeted. "Probably because she's a dried up old whore."

Though the vulgar insult appeared unprovoked, it may be retaliation for comments Handler made in a December interview with Katie Couric for Glamour magazine. When Couric asked the late-night host whether she ever has "second thoughts about being raunchy," Handler took issue with the adjective.

"I say things that a lot of people wouldn't say, and some of it probably isn't in the best taste," she said. "But when I hear the word raunchy, to me that describes Jenna Jameson."
LOL! Jenna Jameson calling someone a whore is like Mel Gibson calling someone a racist. If Jenna's going to start lashing out at people that have disrespected her, she better start with every single co-star she's ever had. Because frankly, after a 20 year career in porn, there's only one place that's ever had more icing on it than her face: a hockey rink.

*15 Jenna Jameson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 1
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 2
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 3
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 4
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 5
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 6
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 7
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 8
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 9
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 10
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 11
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 12
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 13
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 14
  • Jenna Jameson Chelsea Handler Whore 15

The most painfully unfunny interview of 2010

Chelsea Handler -- who was one of the attendees of Jennifer Aniston's "Sycophant Summit 2010" in Mexico over Thanksgiving weekend -- had some harsh things to say about Angelina Jolie at a comedy club in New Jersey over the weekend. When asked to comment, one audience member said, "I don't get it. Is she a comedian? Is the fact that nothing she says is funny what's supposed to be funny? I'm confused." From Us Weekly:
During a stand-up comedy show in Newark, NJ over the weekend, Handler -- new BFF to Jennifer Aniston, 41 -- went on a foul-mouthed rant against Angelina Jolie.

"She's a homewrecker, she is," Handler, 35, said of Jolie, the current of love of Aniston's ex Brad Pitt. "She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants to. I don't f***ing believe you. She gives interviews, 'I don't have a lot of female friends.' Because you're a f***ing c***. You're a f***ing b***h!"
Oh man, Angelina is gonna be so pissed when she hears about this . . . especially if she has Google and can look up who the fuck Chelsea Handler actually is.

NOTE: Weird, I type in Chelsea's name on Wikipedia and it redirects me to this page.

*10 Chelsea Handler and Jay Leno pictures total in the gallery:

  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 1
  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 2
  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 3
  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 4
  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 5
  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 1
  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 2
  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 3
  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 4
  • Chelsea Handler Angelina Jolie 5

Chelsea Handler signing her new book Chelsea, Chelsea, Bang, Bang at Borders in Washington DC (3/25)

When I laugh more at the jokes made by common street trash than you, I think that's a sign you should quit comedy. From the New York Daily News:
Handler, 35, wrote on her blog that "Jesse James' first alleged mistress, Michelle McGee, is being supported emotionally by her father. In a recent interview, Denny McGee said that Michelle really believed that Sandra and Jesse were separated and was 'shocked' to see them together at the Oscars.

"I guess she doesn't read magazines, which makes sense since she basically has one on her face."

However, McGee, 32, didn't take the joke too kindly and took to her Facebook page to bash Handler.

"Chelsea, heres some free advice..use some of that botox from your forehead and put it in your flabby underarm skin," she wrote. "Ive seen better wings in a bucket of KFC chicken ."

Soon after, McGee added an underhanded compliment, saying, "In all seriousness, Im a big fan of Chelsea Lately...feel so honored to have a transexual poke fun of me..."
Listening to these two harpies bad-mouth each other is a lot like listening to Al Gore's theory on Global Warming: no one cares. Besides, if Michelle really wants to get back at Chelsea, she doesn't need to talk shit about her in public, she just needs to send her a mirror. Or cut a hole in the bottom of her feed bag. And if Chelsea really wants to anger Michelle, she just needs to burn a copy of Mein Kampf.

NOTE: Handler responded to McGee on her show Wednesday night:
"First of all, look at my forehead, you dumb bitch okay? It moves ... You have a tattoo on your forehead, so you have had a needle in your forehead -- and probably Jesse James' balls. So shut your face."
"You have had a needle in your forehead." Seriously, how did this bitch get a job? That's not a joke. That's an observation.

  • Thumbnail: Chelsea Handler Bombshell Fight 1
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