Chaz Bono

Chaz Bono out and about in Hollywood (1/9)

Chaz Bono tells the new issue of Rolling Stone that, like many Americans, he's saving up his money. But unlike many Americans, he wants to buy a penis. He said:

"I could get a phalloplasty, which builds the phallus from a donor site on your body, but I'm leaning more toward a metoidioplasty. It's a procedure that uses what you already have down there, which has grown larger from the testosterone. You end up with a smaller phallus than with the phalloplasty, but it's fully functional, it gets erect, and the sensation is all there.

"...the surgery I want to have, I'd like to have the testicular implants and all of that, and I'd like to be able to urinate through it. I mean, it's not that big a deal to sit down, but some of the toilet seats in men's rooms are disgusting. The doctor I want to use is in Belgrade. It's going to be a little cheaper there. Probably $25,000, maybe $45,000, I really don't know."

Whoa, slow your horses for a sec, Chaz. $45k is a lot of moola to people like you (not me, I'm independently wealthy thank you very much), so let me save you a few shekels and some heartache. Later this month on Home Shopping Network I will be selling salad-fruit-belt-adapters -- the perfect gift for broke transsexuals. (Please read the next two sentences with a proper Australian accent) Why hack your giant clit up when you can just strap on your favorite zuchini, cucumber, or even eggplant? Not only is it cheaper than a phalloplasty, it's recyclable and fairly safe for the environment.

*15 Chaz Bono pictures total in the gallery:

Chaz Bono and his girlfriend Jennifer Elia leaving an art exhibition at the Madison Gallery in Malibu (7/5)

Seriously, who is Chaz Bono's doctor? You can barely tell that his cock is only 6 months old.

BONUS JOKE: Chaz Bono's cock wonders if a white man will ever be elected President in its lifetime.

*5 photos total in the gallery:

Chaz Bono is a huge star

I've seen this happen too many times. A guy gets his vagina removed and then he just lets himself go. So sad. Anyways, that's Chaz "Don't Call Me Chastity" Bono leaving Madeo restaurant in West Hollywood on Saturday night. He got there on Friday night.

*23 pics total in the gallery:

Chaz Bono leaving Santa Monica Municipal Court today

It's official. Chaz Bono is a dude. His petition for a name and gender change was granted today by a Santa Monica judge. Right after he stepped foot out of the courtroom, Chaz's boss gave him a 19% raise for the same exact job he had before. Hah, you suck women!

*15 pics total in the gallery:

Chaz Bono leaving her home in West Hollywood (10/22)

According to Pacific Coast News, this is the first picture of Chaz (formerly Chastity) Bono without breasts. And let us never speak of this post again.