Charlize Theron


Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart at a photocall for Snow White and the Huntsman at Casa de America in Madrid, Spain (5/17)

Add Charlize Theron to the list of people mad at that homewrecker Kristen Stewart for crushing the heart of Robert Pattinson and destroying the marriage of Charlize's friend Liberty Ross. I smell a chick fight coming! Via the New York Post:
Theron struck up a friendship with Stewart on the set of [Snow White and the Huntsman], but is also friends with [director Ruper] Sander's wife Liberty Ross, who also had a part in the movie. The scandal involving Stewart and Sanders that broke this week now has put Theron in an "difficult position," the site says.

"Charlize is absolutely fuming with Kristen for having an affair with Rupert," an insider tells Radar. "She is very tight with Liberty, has often socialized with the family over dinner and cannot believe Kristin has done this ... When they were filming... Charlize felt like an older sister to Kristin, and they were always sharing advice."
Who can blame "big sister" Charlize for being mad at her little pig of a sister? I think the only way to teach Kristen a lesson is for Charlize and Liberty to strip naked, baby-oil themselves and the dirty little girl up, and give Krissy a stiff spanking while I film the encounter. Yeah, spank her until she cries, or at least cracks a smile -- whichever comes first. I know, it's a bit harsh, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make if it will save a friendship and a marriage. No need to thank me, I'll be thanking myself later, over and over again.

*12 Charlize Theron pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlize Theron Mad 1
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Charlize Theron leaving Claridge's Hotel in Mayfair, London (6/1)

Wait, Charlize Theron thought I was a weirdo? That cunt! From The Globe:
Charlize Theron claims she'll NEVER auction herself as a dinner date for charity again after getting stuck with a weirdo. "It was the worst idea ever. They trick you with the whole, 'Oh you know you can help so many people,' and then you fall for it and before you know it you're at a restaurant with some strange man. I made two of my girlfriends sit with me. It was a scary thing. I'd rather just give the money to charity."
Who knew that Charlize Theron -- dinner whore -- was such a wet blanket? Look, when I pulled my erect hog out and sprinkled cocaine on it, I meant that to be an ice-breaker/conversation starter -- I didn't expect it to be the reason why you would stop donating to charity. Children in Africa will continue to be covered in flies because you and your friends couldn't do a couple of rails off my johnson? Typical one percenter. Shame on you Charlize, shame on you.

*6 Charlize Theron pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlize Theron Blind Date 1
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Charlize Theron in Namibia (6/25)

Charlize Theron shaved her head a few weeks ago for her role in Mad Max: Fury Road, but she's been wearing hats since then (see here, here, and here), so no one's gotten a good look at it. Except earlier this week when she was spotted in Namibia. Look, I love movies as much as the next guy, but forcing an actor or actress to fundamentally alter their appearance for a role is just plain crazy. For example, Jonah Hill didn't have to shave his pussy for the new 21 Jump Street movie.

*5 Charlize Theron pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlize Theron Shaved Head Pic 1
  • Charlize Theron Shaved Head Pic 2
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  • Charlize Theron Shaved Head Pic 1
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Paparazzi photos from Thursday, June 7

Charlize Theron leaving The Wilda Salon in L.A. (pics start here)

Snooki and JWoww filming Jersey Shore in Seaside Heights (pics start here)

Carrie Underwood at the CMT Awards in Nashville (pics start here)

Miley Cyrus on the set of a photoshoot in Malibu (pics start here)

Uma Thurman out and about in New York (pics start here)

Julianne Hough out and about in New York (pics start here)

Kate Bosworth and her boyfriend Michael Polish out and about in New York (pics start here)

Paz de la Huerta out and about in New York (pics start here)

Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Gerard Butler out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Renee Zellweger arriving at LAX airport for a flight (pics start here)

Malin Akerman arriving at MTV Studios in New York (pics start here)

Reality star Lisa Vanderpump (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) leaving the Ken Paves Salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Jessica Alba leaving the Trump Soho Hotel in Manhattan (pics start here)

*126 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlize Theron Denim 1
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Charlize Theron

Charlize Theron at The Colbert Report studios in New York (5/29)

*36 Charlize Theron pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlize Theron Colbert Report 1
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Charlize Theron at a photocall for Snow White and the Huntsman at the Ritz Carlton in Berlin (5/16)

For not having real teeth until she was 11, I'd say Charlize Theron has rebounded pretty nicely. She told The Sun:
"My early childhood was quite devastating. I had no teeth until I was 11. I had these fangs because I had jaundice when I was a kid and I was put on so many antibiotics that my teeth rotted. They had to cut them out.

"So I never had milk teeth. That was tough, you know, being in school having photos taken while I was pretending I had teeth. It was hideous."
Hey, whatever. Charlize Theron can claim that she had no legs up until she was in Devil's Advocate and I'll buy it. If not having teeth until you're 11 allows women to grow up to be that good-looking, expect to see a lot more tweeners with their teeth knocked out -- and who can  blame them for trying? Think about it, Charlize is gonna ruin that stupid Snow White movie because of how much hotter she is than Kristen "The Only Facial Expression I Know is that of Indifference" Stewart. I'll be rooting for the wicked witch in this one, and by "rooting," I mean "furiously masturbating to."

*20 Charlize Theron pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlize Theron No Teeth 1
  • Charlize Theron No Teeth 2
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Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, and Charlize Theron at the premiere of Snow White and the Huntsman at Empire Leicester Square in London (5/14)

I don't know whose idea it was to have ridiculously average Kristen Stewart stand three feet from ridiculously beautiful Charlize Theron at last night's world premiere of Snow White and the Huntsman, but they have a twisted sense of humor. If I was Kristen, I'd call in sick or play stupid about the U.S. premiere next week just so I wasn't embarrassed again. "Oh shit, that was last night? My bad."

*30 Charlize Theron pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlize Theron Kristen Stewart 1
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Alexander Skarsgard at Coachella last month

Rihanna, Charlize Theron, and some chick name Roberta Mancino -- Alexander Skarsgard's penis have been on quite the ride lately. It's just like Disneyland, except he gets to cum. From Life & Style:
Alexander Skarsgard is quite the ladies' man! While promoting his new movie, Battleship, in Tokyo in April, the True Blood star got frisky with his co-star Rihanna, 24.

"They went to a geisha bathhouse," an eyewitness tells Life & Style. "They were drinking, and before you knew it they were in a corner getting hot and heavy."

But they're not exclusive: Alex, 35, has also been linked to Charlize Theron, 36, and he's romancing Italian skydiver Roberta Mancino, 31.

"He and Roberta have been seeing each other for a few months," a friend confirms to Life & Style. "He's been courting her and taking her out to dinner a lot. It's not a serious relationship, but they look forward to hanging out together even more. They really like each other."
So Al Skarsgard is knocking down the prime hooch faster than they can set 'em up. I don't see the big deal, that's how big timers like us roll, biatch. What did you guys expect, for Alex to not take advantage of his rising stock portfolio? Any doucherocket can shoot goo into the Waffle House waiting staff -- right, Tiger? It takes a real confident SOB to simultaneously go clam-diving with multiple celebs -- Bradley Cooper calls this the "good ol' days." Skarsgard is the new Hollywood stud that gets women all hot and bothered, which my mom says means "sloppy horny" (don't ask, Thanksgivings are awkward enough). Get used to it, kids. Alexander has a pipe that needs a fixin', and the only plumbers in his phone book have Grammy and Oscar nods on their resumes.

*19 Alexander Skarsgard pictures total in the gallery:

  • Alexander Skarsgard Three Women 1
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Charlize Theron arriving at the Staples Center for the Lakers v Spurs game (4/17)

Is Keanu Reeves nailing Charlize Theron? Sure, why not. From In Touch Weekly:
Now that she's a single mom to adopted son Jackson, Charlize Theron is looking for a baby daddy. And the 36-year-old actress has her sights set on her longtime friend — and rumored former beau — Keanu Reeves! A pal tells In Touch the Sweet November co-stars have gotten closer since Charlize brought home Jackson and friends think a rekindled romance is inevitable. "They were friends with benefits in the past," the friend says, "but now it's something more." So is Keanu, 47, dad material? "He babysits and brings toys when he visits Charlize and Jackson," the friend reports. "He even built the crib and changes diapers!"
Fuck Neo. This guy is on the run of ages. How is it fair that Dumb Keanu Reeves is still a celebrity? His career started and should have ended in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. He has the "huh?" look on his face all the time, as if he's pondering the mathematics involved in quantum mechanics, when all he really wants is a frozen yogurt. Yet here we are, two decades of hackery later, and I'm reporting that this guy is banging Charlize Theron. Whatever. Keanu's clearly hooked on the blue pill, but what about Charlize? Is he that hung? What can these two talk about that doesn't involve surfboards? Unless Charlize is a Dogstar groupie, I just can't wrap my head around this one, kids.

*10 Keanu Reeves pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlize Keanu 1
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Paparazzi photos from Friday, March 30

Charlize Theron heading to a yoga class in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Angie Everhart at the 11th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational at Shadow Creek Golf Course in Las Vegas (pics start here)

Pixie Lott arriving for a flight at Heathrow Airport in London (pics start here)

Beyonce out and about in New York (pics start here)

Ashlee Simpson arriving at Sydney International Airport in Australia (pics start here)

Actress Noureen DeWulf (Outsourced) leaving her hotel in New York (pics start here)

Paris Hilton at The Star Casino in Sydney (pics start here)

Evan Rachel Wood out and about in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Seth Rogen leaving a doctor's office in Brentwood (pics start here)

Minka Kelly shopping in Sydney (pics start here)

Kat Von D out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Amber Heard leaving Starbucks in L.A. (pics start here)

Camila Alves promoting her new line of handbags on The Marilyn Denis Show in Toronto (pics start here)

*119 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlize Theron Yoga Pants 1
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