Recently in Charlie Sheen Category

Charlie Sheen's marriage is in trouble

Charlie Sheen and his wife Brooke Mueller are having, ahem, "problems." Last month it was reported that after Brooke was hospitalized due to complications from her pregnancy, Charlie -- who was in Las Vegas at the time -- didn't even fly back to L.A. to be with her. Brooke gave birth to twins on Saturday and Charlie barely made it to the hospital in time for the delivery. From TheMediaBuffet.com:

Sheen wasn’t to be seen the entire Saturday while Mueller checked in with the help of an assistant. Charlie was a no show. He has not been seen spending much time at Saint John’s Hospital but has managed to attend the delivery even though Brooke arrived to the hospital alone.  It became especially tense, sources say, this weekend, when the couple's arguing prohibited friends from visiting.

“Brooke won’t put up with Charlie’s berating much longer,” says the source. “This pregnancy has been especially rough on Mueller,” say insiders. “She has gotten some life saving support from her mom and close friends.” (Source)

The fact that Charlie is acting the way he is around the mother of his children is absolutely disgusting. Even more disgusting: that Brooke is surprised. She had to have known who she was getting involved with when they first started dating. The only thing not shocking about this whole story is that Charlie actually showed up for the delivery. Why? Because there was a vagina involved.

Charlie Sheen at the MAGIC Marketplace convention in Las Vegas (2/17)

As Charlie Sheen parties it up in Vegas, his pregnant wife Brooke Mueller is relaxing in the hospital. In Charlie's defense, that is, like, a 45 minute flight back to L.A. It's pretty inconvenient. From The Media Buffet:

Brooke Mueller Sheen, wife of Charlie, is hospitalized at Cedars Sinai in Beverly Hills for complications during her pregnancy. Meanwhile Charlie is allegedly partying it up at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas. No one at Cedars has seen hide nor hair of him. We hear they were not getting along, but could he really be that HEARTLESS??? (Source)

What did Brooke expect? She married Charlie Sheen! Charlie's just not the type to hold a candlelight vigil by the bedside of his hospitalized wife. He's the type to hold twenties in his mouth while strippers try to suffocate him with their silicone implants. If Brooke had wanted to be with a Saint, she should have enrolled in Catholic school . . . and been a 12-year-old boy.

Denise Richards is throwing mud

Denise Richards is willing to do anything to boost the ratings of her fledgling reality show Denise Richards: It's Complicated, including accusing her ex-husband Charlie Sheen of molesting their children. Denise levied the charges against Charlie last week in court, though his lawyer got the so-called "evidence" dismissed. A source told the New York Post:

"Denise's accusations were vile. She was basically trying to say Charlie [manipulated] the kids and acted inappropriately with them. It's disgusting and totally untrue. Charlie is furious . . . Denise has really pushed it too far this time. She came after Charlie because the ratings on her E! reality show ['It's Complicated'] have tanked and they were threatening not to renew. She thinks a court battle would be good for ratings so she wants all overnight visits with the girls ceased, and monitored visits with her nanny. She invited the media circus to the hearing and even wanted reporters in the judge's chambers - which wasn't allowed. It's ridiculous. [Sheen is] out to prove Denise's lack of veracity and sue her in civil court for defamation. Then he'll sue for child custody." (Source)

Is there anything this bitch won't do for attention? Take her clothes off in a movie: check. Sell out her kids for publicity: check. Sleep with her friend's overweight husband: check. Sadly the only gimmick Denise hasn't orchestrated yet to get her name in the headlines is the one thing we all want her do anyway: overdose.

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are fighting again

The Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards feud is heating up again. Denise is making the rounds this week promoting her new reality show on E!. On Wednesday she claimed on the Today Show that Charlie faked the emails he claims Denise sent him begging him for sperm so she could have more kids. She told the New York Post yesterday:

"I don't want Charlie's prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We'll leave it at that. I am so over him. He's the one who can't move on. He's disgusting, and he's hit an all-time low."

Denise also claims Charlie recently sent her a vulgar text message attacking her mother, who recently died of cancer:

"Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he's going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold. His response was, 'I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore. My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis. He missed Dad's day at the school, and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?" (Source)

Wow. These two fling more shit at each other than angry monkeys at the zoo. And who knows, with biting insults like "prostitute-tranny-infested sperm," Denise might just have a future as a gossip blogger. Of course the real victims in this feud are the children. They'll grow up to resent their father for his misogyny and envy their mother for her implants . . . so a lot like "Candy" down at the Spearmint Rhino.*

*slip her an extra twenty during your lap dance and she'll let you be more "grabby."

Charlie Sheen is getting married at the end of May. In Touch Weekly says:

A source close to Charlie Sheen and his fiancé, Brooke Mueller, reveals to In Touch exclusively that they are going to marry on May 30. The couple met at a party in early 2006 not long after Charlie separated from his then-wife, Denise Richards. He proposed to the actress/real estate agent with a $500,000 ring in July of 2007. This will be the Two and a Half Men star's third marriage and Brooke's first.

And for no good reason, in their "Living Legends of Sex" article, Maxim wrote:

CHARLIE SHEEN

CONQUESTS: 5,000

The son of Martin and brother of Emilio Estevez has an infamous lust for hookers. The irony is, of course, that Charlie’s also quite capable of getting ladies who’ll do the deed gratis. It’s how he managed to rack up 5,000 pairs of boots knocked. (Source)

Last year, Sheen wrote to his ex-wife Denise Richards:

"You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and, um, oh yeah, sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go fuck yourself, sad, jobless pig . . . Go cry to your bald mom, you fucking loser." Richards' mother is undergoing treatment for breast cancer. (Source)

Australia's news.com.au adds:

Hollywood actor Charlie Sheen allegedly hired the same callgirl involved in the Eliot Spitzer scandal for a fantasy themed threesome. Pimp Jason Itzler, 41, claims he sent Ashley Alexander Dupre under the name of Victoria and another girl, Cheryl to Sheen more than two years ago, the Daily Record reported. He claims Sheen paid $20,000 for a threesome with the girls dressed up as cheerleaders. "Sheen got the girls to dress up as cheerleaders . . . chanting 'Charlie! Charlie! He's our man. If he can't do it, nobody can!'". (Source)

And finally Female First says:

Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss knew her ex-client Charlie Sheen's marriage to Denise Richards was doomed because the playboy loved the company of prostitutes too much.

One prostitute, Chloe Jones, recently dismissed claims by the actor's father Martin Sheen that the Wall Street star wasn't cheating on Richards, by telling US tabloids that she and Sheen - an old client - met and enjoyed oral sex in a Hollywood hotel in February, 2005.

And now Fleiss admits she isn't surprised that Sheen's marriage is over. She says, "The guy's a rat." Fleiss admits she feels sorry for the actor's pregnant wife Richards. She adds, "She's got to be devastated... (She should) take all the money and move on and forget about him." (Source)

I really have no idea how Charlie's marriage to Brooke will go, but how much you wanna bet they move to a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, have four kids, and live happily ever after.

[WENN]

Least creepy pic of him I could find

Rolling Stone has broken the shocking news that Charlie Sheen still really, really likes hookers. The magazine interviewed former L.A. madam "Nici," who revealed that the actor was booking girls from her escort service up until last year:

"One day, according to Nici, the unthinkable happened: Charlie Sheen answered an ad. It was the Holy Grail of escorting, the Hollywood connection that can make or break a service. When Nici dropped four girls off at his penthouse, she found the actor in silk pajamas with 'C. MaSheen' embroidered over the pocket. Sheen gave her a $20,000 check for the girls, and she picked them up several hours later."

Even after Sheen entered court-ordered rehab, Nici "continued to book girls for him, furtively sending them to a doctor's office in LA owned by a friend of Sheen's. The orderlies at the rehab center would let him out for his frequent medical appointments." (Source)

For those of you wondering how the shrine I'm "erecting" to Charlie Sheen is coming along I thought I'd give you an update. The self cleaning stripper poles I'm installing in the kitchen, shower and laundry room are almost finished, but I'm still looking for a morally challenged nurse to mange my in-house VD clinic. Next month I'm installing cameras in the guest toilets but I'm still waiting on my gyno chair to be delivered. More updates to follow!

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller

Charlie Sheen loves his fiancée Brooke Mueller so much he's getting all of his tattoos lasered off. Weird . . . the last time I cheated on my fiancée with five hookers at the same time I, too, felt guilty and had all my tattoos removed. Probably just a coincidence. The New York Post says:

Charlie Sheen is so serious about fiancée Brooke Mueller, he's promised to remove his 13 tattoos, which she hates. Sheen, who spent his early years partying hard and bedding a bevy of actresses, doesn't remember getting some of the gruesome tats, including a dragon with glasses and a stingray on his left ankle. A wooden sign nailed to his chest above his heart reads, "Back in 15 minutes." That one was originally meant to be an ashtray, he said, but went horribly wrong. Sheen can't even remember the year he got it. One tattoo he's already had lasered off is the "Denise," for ex-wife Denise Richards, on his left wrist. (Source)

Are tattoos really the most undesirable items Charlie needs removed? I'd think syphilis, gonorrhea, and herpes would be higher. I heard Charlie's crotch is so contaminated, Hans Blix classified it as a weapon of mass destruction! As a matter of fact, the CDC once quarantined Charlie's house for fear of a pandemic. You know that movie Outbreak--roughly based on Charlie's junk. Also, a little known fact is that in Namibia, the word Ebola roughly translates into "Charlie Sheen." Look it up.

Getty

Pull up a chair because the Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen custody battle is starting to get good. From the New York Daily News:

Denise Richards walloped Charlie Sheen with a custody action yesterday, claiming he was an unfit dad. The "Two and a Half Men" star shot back: "Clearly the mother of my children has no interest in responsible co-parenting when it comes to my relationship with our girls. She behaves as though she owns our children. She does not. A day of legal reckoning for her is fast approaching. The truth will prevail." (Source)

Wow, what a wordsmith! Interesting fact of the day: Did you know that Charlie Sheen wrote the first bible? It's true! In the original version, Psalms 2, Chapter 8, Verse 7 read something like, "And when thou talketh to a prostitute, remindith her to swallow . . . lest she defile ye own's carpet." Another little known fact is that Charlie's original version of the Ninth Commandment read: "Do not covet thy neighbor's wife . . . unless she's hot. Or if her husband's not home. Or if she's breathing. As a matter of fact, don't live by any neighbors!"

Charlie Sheen is such a heavy smoker that he's been nicknamed "The Chimney" by friends. Friend and ex-smoker Ellen DeGeneres has urged Sheen to visit the same hypnotist that helped her kick the habit. Though Charlie was hesitant at first, according to Mike Walker of the National Enquirer, he's becoming more open to the idea.

"[Sheen] received complimentary certificates for several hypnotherapy sessions - along with a note from Ellen that read, 'You should do this for your kids.' Here's the surprise: Mr. Macho says he'll try the trance route. Stay tuned."

If hypnosis can help someone kick cigarettes, maybe it can help me...I have this bad habit of yelling racial slurs at my butler any time my custom Italian suits aren't perfectly pressed. What really sucks is he's a white guy. You know how hard it is to come up with a good racial slur for a white guy? "Cracker" is so played out. You don't want to know how much sleep I've lost thinking about this. Someone help me out here.

Charlie Sheen

According to the Hollywood Reporter, "Two and a Half Men" star Charlie Sheen is close to finalizing a new contract would make him the highest-paid comedy star in television:

Sources said Sheen will earn about $350,000 per episode this season from producer of the CBS powerhouse, Warner Bros. Television. This represents a hefty increase from his previous payday in the low six figures. Sheen also is known to have a significant profit-participation stake in the series, now in its fourth season.

Sources said CBS is kicking in some money for the pay raise for Sheen, as has become common practice for networks in high-level actor renegotiation deals. Sheen began renegotiating his deal in July, shortly after Warner Bros. entered lucrative deals to sell the syndication rights to the Tribune Broadcasting stations (for broadcast) and to FX (for cable), effective 2010.

Wasn't Charlie banging hookers and doing lines off runaways' asses just a few years ago? Now he's making my Grandma laugh as she settles down for the night after a long day of gardening. What the fuck does it take to get blacklisted in Hollywood anymore? You pretty much have to get caught on video raping an elderly blind woman. Still photographs simply will not suffice. Oh no.

[WENN]