Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller boarding a private jet in L.A. (8/19)

Oy vey, this will not end well. Either someone's overdosing (Charlie) or someone's getting buried in the backyard next to all the hookers (Brooke). From TMZ:

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller have officially left the country ... together ... and TMZ has learned the private jet carrying the twosome has touched down in Mexico. The former couple hopped on the jet late Friday afternoon ... judging by the photo they posed for on the plane (above), they look like they're heading on their honeymoon all over again.

Charlie tells TMZ ... he decided to take Brooke on the trip as a reward because she's been, "busting her ass with the boys, and [she's] more sober and healthy than I've ever seen her."

As we previously reported ... Charlie has made it his personal mission to help get Brooke the treatment she needs to finally conquer her addictions.

When Charlie Sheen's the one deciding whether or not you're "sober and healthy," you know you've got issues. That guy knows clean living about as much as Sandra Bernhard knows runway modeling. Of course, the real reason Charlie probably brought that dumbass Brooke to Mexico is to be his coke mule. You'd be amazed how many bags of blow you can fit into an empty skull.

*12 Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller pictures total in the gallery:

Charlie Sheen leaving his hotel in Toronto (4/15)

Some of those wackjob 9/11 "truthers" are angry at Charlie Sheen for not speaking up more about the cause lately like he used to in the past. God I hate these idiots. The government blew up the World Trade Center and has then kept that secret for almost 10 years? Really? Bill Clinton couldn't even keep it a secret that he got a blowjob from some fat chick and you expect me to believe that? Get the fuck out of here. From the Daily Mail:

...there's one cause that Charlie Sheen has been apparently shy of talking about recently - his conspiracy theories surrounding the 9/11 terrorist attacks in New York. Sheen has been vocal in the past about the attacks, asserting that the World Trade Centre, in his view, was blown up in a 'controlled demolition'. Now conspiracy group The 9/11 Truth Movement are threatening to protest at his live shows, accusing him of neglecting to talk about the matter.

Mark Dice, a prominent member of the organisation, told TMZ that the former Two And A Half Men star has abandoned them after once being a keen supporter. He said that Sheen should be using the limelight he is currently enjoying  to promote the group.

"[He should be] asking hard questions about what happened on 9/11 and the resulting wars ... not bragging about smoking crack and sleeping with hookers," Mr Dice told the website.

Of course Charlie Sheen is a 9/11 truther -- that's what happens to a person when they've ingested more drugs than a Colombian coke mule's vagina. Besides, what's this Mark Dice guy so upset about anyways? Having someone as unstable as Charlie Sheen promote your issue right now will cause it to -- in an analogy this douche will understand -- implode faster than 7 World Trade Center.

*20 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Friday, April 15

Charlie Sheen outside Massey Hall during the Toronto stop for his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour (pics start here)

Hayden Panettiere filming a segment for Extra with Mario Lopez at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

Model Kim Lee at OK! Magazine's "Sexy Singles Party" held at Lexington Social House in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Lacey Schwimmer arriving at a dance studio in Hollywood to rehearse for Dancing With the Stars (pics start here)

JoJo at the launch of Audrina Patridge's new VH1 reality show Audrina at The Redbury in Hollywood (pics start here)

Rihanna leaving Osteria Mozza restaurant in Los Angeles (pics start here)

Alessandra Ambrosio heading to a medical building in Hollywood (pics start here)

Jessica Biel jogging in L.A. (pics start here)

Jessica Alba leaving Margarita Mix Studios in Hollywood (pics start here)

Arnold Schwarzenegger riding his bike in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Kevin Costner arriving at LAX airport (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale promoting her new Disney Channel movie Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure on MuchMusic's New.Music.Live. show in Toronto (pics start here)

Actress Kristen Ruhlin leaving the Lucy De Castenou boutique opening in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Maria Menounos signing her new book The Everygirl's Guide to Life at the NBC Experience Store at Rockefeller Center in New York (pics start here)

*119 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Charlie Sheen at the tour afterparty at Enclave nightclub in Chicago (4/3)

Hmmmm, I wonder if Denise Richards' "spy" joined in on the "Fuck that bitch" chant Charlie Sheen led his Cleveland audience in at his show on Tuesday? From the Chicago Sun Times:

L.A. sources close to Sheen’s ex-wife Denise Richards and soon-to-be-ex Brooke Mueller tell me the two women both have arranged for tickets to be bought for all of Sheen’s shows so their personal spies can record the actor’s comments about them — in case those rants are needed for further legal proceedings.

These women are pathetic if they need to send someone to spy on Charlie at his shows. Not because they're stalking him, but because they actually need MORE evidence than they already have for "further legal proceedings." At this point, they could basically play any one of the TV appearances he's made in the last month and just say, "Exhibit A, your Honor. We rest our case." We're not exactly talking about Marbury v. Madison here.

*12 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

Charlie Sheen on stage in Detroit (4/2)

Charlie Sheen kicked off his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour Saturday night in Detroit, and I don't to want spoil the surprise about how he did, but let's just say it's a good thing he didn't hand out tomatoes before the show. From TMZ:

According to multiple people inside the Fox Theatre ... the majority of the audience heckled not only Charlie, but his buddy Simon Rex, who came out and started rapping. At one point, Sheen tried to deflect the angry crowd by pointing out that he had his own app ... and they didn't (see video above).

That went on for about 30 minutes ... and the crowd was initially cheering for Charlie. He even sent out a twitpic of the enthusiastic audience

... they played the new track, "Winning" ... which Snoop Dogg recorded for Charlie. We're told that got the crowd fired up ... but when neither Snoop nor Charlie came out on stage they started booing again.

At that point most of the crowd started walking out -- and the house lights were turned on. We're told Charlie did come back on stage briefly and invited the people who stayed to move up closer to the stage ... but then he started complaining about his audio and walked off the stage.

Ouch. Who would have thought that an egomaniacal drug addict couldn't pull off an entertaining live show that he only had about two weeks to prepare for? The next thing you're gonna tell me is that there isn't a Santa Claus. Well then who ate the cookies and milk I left out? WHO THE FUCK ATE THE COOKIES AND MILK?

*10 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

Charlie Sheen is going to make a killing from his tour

I bet Charlie donates almost all of the $7 million he makes from his tour to the Red Cross in Japa-LOL. I was almost able to type that without laughing. From the Chicago Sun Times:

After initially strong ticket sales in Chicago and Detroit — the first announced venues for Sheen’s “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option” tour — there seems to be a dropoff in interest. While most of the best seats in the Chicago Theatre have been snapped up for Sheen’s gig here Sunday, some tickets still are available. In places like Tampa and Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., Columbus and Seattle, ticket sales reportedly have been even weaker.

Nonetheless, Sheen supposedly has been guaranteed a minimum tour haul of $7 million — fueled by ticket sales, special “meet and greet” backstage opportunities (for $1,700-plus in Chicago) and a nice chunk of the tour merchandise being sold.

Charlie's getting paid $7 million regardless of how many people show up? He can't lose. The less people that come to his event, the better it is for him. Because he won't have to "meet and greet" with as many people after the show, he'll have plenty of time to get back to his hotel and snort mounds of coke off the asses of his seven live-in prostitutes. I take back everything I've ever said about this guy -- he's fucking brilliant!

*12 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards in 2002

After Charlie's Sheen's infamous meltdown at The Plaza Hotel last year, he basically stopped caring for his two pugs (which were actually Denise Richards' but she let them stay at Charlie's house so her kids could play during their visits). From TMZ:

Things were ok for a while, but after Charlie's meltdown at the Plaza hotel in NYC, Denise started getting calls that the pugs were malnourished and neglected. Things became so alarming, we're told Denise went to Charlie's and he gave her the dogs.  Sadly, one of them died of malnutrition, but the other is ok.

Now Charlie wants the dog back, and sources say he just wants the pooch as a mascot on his tour bus.

You dog lovers have to look at the bright side of this story: when I die, I would love to be buried in the backyard of a huge mansion next to a bunch of hookers. That little doggy is going to be the envy of all his buddies in Heaven whose bodies were just tossed into trash cans.

*5 Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards pictures total in the gallery:

Charlie Sheen's house raided

After receiving a tip that he had guns at his house (a violation of the restraining order Brooke Mueller filed against him), police raided Charlie Sheen's house last night. Sheen was so shaken by the event that he went into the backyard and had a hamburger with friends (no, really). From the L.A. Times:

Officers arrived at Sheen’s home in the Sherman Oaks hills after informing his attorney. Sources said Sheen had guns registered to him that would be prohibited by Mueller’s restraining order.

“We’re doing our due-diligence,” said a Police Department source connected with the case who asked not to be identified. LAPD officials said such weapon searches are routine in cases in which a person is subject to a restraining order.

From TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell us cops wrapped up their search and Charlie wasn't arrested.  Charlie's lawyer, Mark Gross says police found one rifle -- from the 1800s -- and "a few bullets," adding no other weapons were in the house. Gross also confirmed police executed the search warrant because someone -- he didn't know who -- claimed Charlie had a gun.

To recap: possessing a gun violates the terms of Charlie's restraining order, Charlie possessed a gun and bullets, Charlie not arrested. OK, yeah, sounds fair.

UPDATE: Charlie just announced that, to help those devastated from the earthquake in Japan, he's organizing a tiger blood drive later today. Well no, not really.

Charlie Sheen is an asshole

Oh this should be good. March 12, 2009: "Excused myself from set, went to the bathroom and did drugs." March 13, 2009: "Excused myself from set, went to the bathroom and did drugs." March 14, 2009: "Excused myself from set, went to the bathroom and did drugs." From TMZ:

Charlie Sheen tells TMZ he's writing a tell-all book about life on the set of "Two and a Half Men" -- with details about what led up to the final implosion -- and he wants at least $10 mil for the publishing rights.

Sheen tells us he wants the world to know what really happened behind-the-scenes of the show during his 8-year run ... the good times and the bad ... and he plans on naming names -- including co-stars. We're told Sheen even has a title in mind -- "When the Laughter Stopped."

Sheen says even though he's still working on the book -- he's expecting a bidding war for the publishing rights ... starting around $10 mil.

Why is Charlie writing a book for cash? After 177 episodes of Two and Half Men and the ridiculous stuff he's been doing lately (buying houses and cars for his whores), it's pretty clear that he has a bank account full of "Fuck You Money." That's when you make so much money that you just don't give a shit anymore. Bosses, friends, co-workers -- they can go fuck themselves for all you care. Of course there is one thing Charlie's going to find out that that much money can't buy: happiness a cure for herpes.

*12 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery: