Charlie Sheen


Charlie Sheen and Brett Rossi fishing in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (11/29)

I'm kidding with that headline. No one cares about Charlie Sheen anymore, but it somehow made the news that he's now dating porn star Brett Rossi. That's the two of them in Cabo San Lucas over the weekend. Brett is 24 going on 14, and Charlie is 48 going on 65, so I'm sure the two are having some enthralling conversations:

Charlie: "Hey baby, come over here and lotion daddy's knees."

Brett: "...I didn't know there were so many Mexicans in Mexico."

Charlie: "God I love you."

*25 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlie Sheen Brett Rossi 1
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Mila Kunis out and about in North London (6/16)

Being hot has its perks. TMZ says Charlie Sheen wants producers of his show Anger Management to shitcan that bitch Selma Blair and bring in Mila Kunis for a multi-episode arc:
Charlie has been on a mission to get Selma 86'd from the show because he believes she's been complaining about him behind his back, trashing his work ethic. Charlie returned to work Monday and told producers he wants the termination process started TODAY, or else he'll walk ... And there's this: we're told Charlie now wants to extend an offer to Mila Kunis (a.k.a. Ashton Kutcher's GF) for a 10 episode arch at $1 MILLION per episode.
So what's the catch? $10 million for a humiliating series of appearances on Charlie Sheen's soon-to-be-cancelled cable show is a lot of scratch for the average Hollywood peasant, but this is Mila Kunis we're talking about, not Tara Reid. If Mila hasn't resorted to getting cheap heat via oopsies, or drunken 2 AM walks of shame, or staged/hacked Instagram pics by now then...oh, I get it. Charlie wants to make Ashton look like a tool by banging his girl. Come on, Tiger Blood, Ashton doesn't need any help looking like a tool, thank you very much. Two and a Half Men is an assembly line sitcom. Any idiot can take credit for the success of that 22 minute cookie cutter with a laugh track insult to TV writing. If you want to bang Mila because she's hot, then more power to you. Banging her to get back at Ashton is a loser troll move, not a shining wizard move. Losing, buh bye.

*30 Mila Kunis in London pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mila Kunis in North London
  • Mila Kunis Rainy Day
  • Mila Kunis in Islington
  • Why is Mila Kunis in London
  • Mila Kunis in Lower Holloway
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  • Mila Kunis Wearing Ray Ban Aviators
  • Mila Kunis in Kentish Town
  • Mila Kunis in London for Jupiter Ascending
  • Mila Kunis UK Pictures
  • Mila Kunis in Hampstead
  • Mila Kunis Without Ashton Kutcher
  • Mila Kunis in Marylebone
  • Mila Kunis in Covent Garden
  • Mila Kunis in South Hill Park Gardens
  • Mila Kunis in Dartmouth Park
  • Mila Kunis in Parliament Hill
  • Mila Kunis in Golders Green
  • Mila Kunis in Cricklewood
  • Mila Kunis Walking Around London
  • Mila Kunis in Somers Town
  • Mila Kunis in Skinny Jeans
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  • Mila Kunis Cute Jacket
  • Mila Kunis in West Kilburn
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  • Mila Kunis June Pictures

Charlie Sheen's new girlfriend, Georgia Jones

Charlie Sheen is dating yet another porn star. He's been spotted in Cabo San Lucas with "Best All-Girl 3-Way Sex Scene of 2011" nominee Georgia Jones (playing the piano, above). From Us Weekly:
On Monday, Dec. 31, the hot-and-heavy couple were spotted sharing a sexy smooch outside Sheen's villa in the exclusive Los Cabos community. Jones, clad in a denim romper, held her cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other, as her drama-prone beau leaned in for a kiss.

Sheen and Jones rang in 2013 together at his newly opened Cabo bar, El Ganzo, where the actor threw a wild New Year's Eve bash with pals Slash (of Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver fame) and Rob Patterson (of Korn).
Is this really news anymore? Of course Charlie's dating a porn star -- it's Charlie Sheen we're talking about here, not Jonathan Lipnicki. The man has a death wish. If he insists on sticking his dick into every toilet that winks at him, who are we to stop him? Let's just do what we've been doing for the last couple of years and continue to take bets on when and how Charlie will be dead. I'm still going with a massive cerebral hemorrhage stemming from skiing on a mountain made entirely of cocaine. The only real bet where you can still lay down good odds is whether Charlie will be found in a pool of his own waste before or after Lindsay Lohan is found in a pool of her own waste.

*5 Georgia Jones pictures total in the gallery:

  • Georgia Jones Charlie Sheen 1
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Charlie Sheen is smoking crack again

Charlie Sheen is back to smoking crack and buying prostitutes new vaginas. Wait, what? From Radar:
An inside look at Charlie's daily life from a close source who spent nearly every day with the Anger Management star reveals a lifestyle riddled with drugs, alcohol and high-end escorts.

"For at least the last eight months or so Charlie has been having a quarter to half an ounce of cocaine delivered to him every single day and was spending nearly $2,000 a day on drugs. Sometimes he'd even get two to three quarters of cocaine in one day," the insider exclusively told RadarOnline.com.

"He snorts it, he smokes it, and then he watches porn. And when he's not watching porn, he's hired high-end girls to come over. This one girl that Charlie really likes had insecurities about her vagina so she begged Charlie to get her a vaginal rejuvenation surgery to make it prettier," the source said. "And he did. He got her the surgery, and he also bought her a new car."
This again? You know, the first time Charlie lost it it was pretty cool because he was ripping into his boss from that shitty TV show and banging some pretty hot whores, but now it's just sad. Charlie Sheen isn't a rebel without a cause and he isn't a tortured artist walking the fine line between genius and madness. Nope, Charlie is just an old crackhead doing what all crackheads do when they find some money -- he just happened to find more of it than usual. Honestly? I don't care if Charlie smokes crack through his asshole, I haven't given a shit about him since Hot Shots Part Deux.

*16 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlie Sheen Crack Habit 1
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Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller boarding a private jet in L.A. (8/19)

Oy vey, this will not end well. Either someone's overdosing (Charlie) or someone's getting buried in the backyard next to all the hookers (Brooke). From TMZ:
Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller have officially left the country ... together ... and TMZ has learned the private jet carrying the twosome has touched down in Mexico. The former couple hopped on the jet late Friday afternoon ... judging by the photo they posed for on the plane (above), they look like they're heading on their honeymoon all over again.

Charlie tells TMZ ... he decided to take Brooke on the trip as a reward because she's been, "busting her ass with the boys, and [she's] more sober and healthy than I've ever seen her."

As we previously reported ... Charlie has made it his personal mission to help get Brooke the treatment she needs to finally conquer her addictions.
When Charlie Sheen's the one deciding whether or not you're "sober and healthy," you know you've got issues. That guy knows clean living about as much as Sandra Bernhard knows runway modeling. Of course, the real reason Charlie probably brought that dumbass Brooke to Mexico is to be his coke mule. You'd be amazed how many bags of blow you can fit into an empty skull.

*12 Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller pictures total in the gallery:

  • Sheen Mueller Back On 1
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Charlie Sheen leaving his hotel in Toronto (4/15)

Some of those wackjob 9/11 "truthers" are angry at Charlie Sheen for not speaking up more about the cause lately like he used to in the past. God I hate these idiots. The government blew up the World Trade Center and has then kept that secret for almost 10 years? Really? Bill Clinton couldn't even keep it a secret that he got a blowjob from some fat chick and you expect me to believe that? Get the fuck out of here. From the Daily Mail:
...there's one cause that Charlie Sheen has been apparently shy of talking about recently - his conspiracy theories surrounding the 9/11 terrorist attacks in New York. Sheen has been vocal in the past about the attacks, asserting that the World Trade Centre, in his view, was blown up in a 'controlled demolition'. Now conspiracy group The 9/11 Truth Movement are threatening to protest at his live shows, accusing him of neglecting to talk about the matter.

Mark Dice, a prominent member of the organisation, told TMZ that the former Two And A Half Men star has abandoned them after once being a keen supporter. He said that Sheen should be using the limelight he is currently enjoying  to promote the group.

"[He should be] asking hard questions about what happened on 9/11 and the resulting wars ... not bragging about smoking crack and sleeping with hookers," Mr Dice told the website.
Of course Charlie Sheen is a 9/11 truther -- that's what happens to a person when they've ingested more drugs than a Colombian coke mule's vagina. Besides, what's this Mark Dice guy so upset about anyways? Having someone as unstable as Charlie Sheen promote your issue right now will cause it to -- in an analogy this douche will understand -- implode faster than 7 World Trade Center.

*20 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlie Sheen Truther 1
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Paparazzi photos from Friday, April 15

Charlie Sheen outside Massey Hall during the Toronto stop for his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour (pics start here)

Hayden Panettiere filming a segment for Extra with Mario Lopez at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

Model Kim Lee at OK! Magazine's "Sexy Singles Party" held at Lexington Social House in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Lacey Schwimmer arriving at a dance studio in Hollywood to rehearse for Dancing With the Stars (pics start here)

JoJo at the launch of Audrina Patridge's new VH1 reality show Audrina at The Redbury in Hollywood (pics start here)

Rihanna leaving Osteria Mozza restaurant in Los Angeles (pics start here)

Alessandra Ambrosio heading to a medical building in Hollywood (pics start here)

Jessica Biel jogging in L.A. (pics start here)

Jessica Alba leaving Margarita Mix Studios in Hollywood (pics start here)

Arnold Schwarzenegger riding his bike in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Kevin Costner arriving at LAX airport (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale promoting her new Disney Channel movie Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure on MuchMusic's New.Music.Live. show in Toronto (pics start here)

Actress Kristen Ruhlin leaving the Lucy De Castenou boutique opening in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Maria Menounos signing her new book The Everygirl's Guide to Life at the NBC Experience Store at Rockefeller Center in New York (pics start here)

*119 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlie Sheen Booger 1
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Charlie Sheen at the tour afterparty at Enclave nightclub in Chicago (4/3)

Hmmmm, I wonder if Denise Richards' "spy" joined in on the "Fuck that bitch" chant Charlie Sheen led his Cleveland audience in at his show on Tuesday? From the Chicago Sun Times:
L.A. sources close to Sheen’s ex-wife Denise Richards and soon-to-be-ex Brooke Mueller tell me the two women both have arranged for tickets to be bought for all of Sheen’s shows so their personal spies can record the actor’s comments about them — in case those rants are needed for further legal proceedings.
These women are pathetic if they need to send someone to spy on Charlie at his shows. Not because they're stalking him, but because they actually need MORE evidence than they already have for "further legal proceedings." At this point, they could basically play any one of the TV appearances he's made in the last month and just say, "Exhibit A, your Honor. We rest our case." We're not exactly talking about Marbury v. Madison here.

*12 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlie Sheen Spies 1
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Charlie Sheen on stage in Detroit (4/2)

Charlie Sheen kicked off his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour Saturday night in Detroit, and I don't to want spoil the surprise about how he did, but let's just say it's a good thing he didn't hand out tomatoes before the show. From TMZ:
According to multiple people inside the Fox Theatre ... the majority of the audience heckled not only Charlie, but his buddy Simon Rex, who came out and started rapping. At one point, Sheen tried to deflect the angry crowd by pointing out that he had his own app ... and they didn't (see video above).

That went on for about 30 minutes ... and the crowd was initially cheering for Charlie. He even sent out a twitpic of the enthusiastic audience

... they played the new track, "Winning" ... which Snoop Dogg recorded for Charlie. We're told that got the crowd fired up ... but when neither Snoop nor Charlie came out on stage they started booing again.

At that point most of the crowd started walking out -- and the house lights were turned on. We're told Charlie did come back on stage briefly and invited the people who stayed to move up closer to the stage ... but then he started complaining about his audio and walked off the stage.
Ouch. Who would have thought that an egomaniacal drug addict couldn't pull off an entertaining live show that he only had about two weeks to prepare for? The next thing you're gonna tell me is that there isn't a Santa Claus. Well then who ate the cookies and milk I left out? WHO THE FUCK ATE THE COOKIES AND MILK?

*10 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlie Sheen Bombs 1
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Charlie Sheen is going to make a killing from his tour

I bet Charlie donates almost all of the $7 million he makes from his tour to the Red Cross in Japa-LOL. I was almost able to type that without laughing. From the Chicago Sun Times:
After initially strong ticket sales in Chicago and Detroit — the first announced venues for Sheen’s “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option” tour — there seems to be a dropoff in interest. While most of the best seats in the Chicago Theatre have been snapped up for Sheen’s gig here Sunday, some tickets still are available. In places like Tampa and Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., Columbus and Seattle, ticket sales reportedly have been even weaker.

Nonetheless, Sheen supposedly has been guaranteed a minimum tour haul of $7 million — fueled by ticket sales, special “meet and greet” backstage opportunities (for $1,700-plus in Chicago) and a nice chunk of the tour merchandise being sold.
Charlie's getting paid $7 million regardless of how many people show up? He can't lose. The less people that come to his event, the better it is for him. Because he won't have to "meet and greet" with as many people after the show, he'll have plenty of time to get back to his hotel and snort mounds of coke off the asses of his seven live-in prostitutes. I take back everything I've ever said about this guy -- he's fucking brilliant!

*12 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

  • Charlie Sheen Tour Profits 1
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Would You Rather?

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