Celebslam Presents

Starting my Christmas celebration early (*makes scotch drinking motion with thumb and pinky*), so here's a gallery chock-full of the most hideous pictures of the year. Like that of Katie Holmes, above. Katie somehow beat out both Joan Rivers and Cameron Diaz to headline this gallery. That's like me beating Usain Bolt in a footrace.

Merry Christmas

*101 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katie Holmes
  • Pam Anderson
  • Olivia Wilde
  • Claire Danes
  • Melissa McCarthy
  • Sarah Jessica Parker
  • Drew Barrymore
  • Lorde
  • Jennifer Garner
  • Minka Kelly
  • Kylie Jenner
  • Sharon Stone
  • Maria Shriver
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • Patricia Arquette
  • Tiffani Theisen
  • Carrot Top
  • Tori Spelling
  • Cameron Diaz
  • Kate Upton
  • Snooki
  • Drew Barrymore
  • Anne Hathaway
  • Alanis Morissette
  • Julianne Hough
  • Naomi Watts
  • Bethenny Frankel
  • Kaley Cuoco
  • Princess Beatrice
  • Joan Rivers
When they aren't busy shooting their next big hit, Hollywood celebrities need some downtime like the rest of us. With the world's capital of gambling just a short flight from the capital of movies, it's no wonder that many A-listers decide to blow the latest multi-million check burning a hole in their pockets at the casino.

The media readily laps up stories of celebrities who gamble and in this article we take a look at five of Hollywood's most well-known celebrity poker players who featured prominently in the news because of their gambling.

Ben Affleck


The versatile Ben Affleck also counts being good at poker as one of his many talents having been tutored by some of the best players in the business. Poker legends Annie Duke and Amir Vahedi both have coached Affleck in the past and turned him into a tournament-winning player who can boast of winning more than $300k and a very disciplined play ethic.

The actor has most recently starred in the thriller Gone Girl and is currently cast in the role of Batman for the upcoming Batman v Superman movie in 2016. Away from the set, Affleck enjoys entering in local poker tournaments and spending money at the casino.

His avid passion for cards has caused the media to raise suspicions of gambling addiction around the actor, something he vehemently denies. For Ben, playing poker is just a hobby: one he's exceptionally good at and he has been described as playing in a very 'relaxed' and 'smart' manner.

Tobey Maguire


If the rumours are to be believed, Tobey Maguire, mostly known for starring as Peter Parker/Spiderman in the trilogy directed by Sam Raimi, is just as unpleasant as being bitten by a genetically mutated spider around the cards.

The American actor has been nicknamed 'Hannibal Lecter' by fellow A-lister who play poker with him, partly because of his brilliant poker strategizing but also due to his terrible manners at the poker tables. Macguire is known for being an intensely competitive player who doesn't take too kindly at being bested by others; quite a change from the naive Peter Parker in the movies.

A regular at high-rolling events, Tobey Maguire reportedly brought with him his own automated $17,000 card shuffling device at poker nights with fellow celebrities, which he insisted on using before to ensure a fair shuffle.

Playing like the stars

With the rise in internet gambling, celebrities now have it easier than ever to indulge in some gambling, especially poker. Although the US still remains very much closed to the idea of real money online casino gaming, legal options are increasing due to recent legislation.

Moreover, you don't have to worry about being papped while playing poker online if you're a celebrity. Who knows, fans might now be able to virtually rub shoulders with their favorite Hollywood star the next time they decide to play a hand online! Which leads us on to our next card playing celeb...

Matt Damon


Matt Damon, famous for his portrayal of the Jason Bourne character in the first three movies of the series, knows a thing or two about high-stakes poker thanks to his acting career. Damon played poker pro Mike McDermott  in the 1998 classic gambling flick Rounders, a part which he took so seriously that he dropped a cool $25,000 at the World Series of Poker tournament while researching that role.

An avid fan of the game, Damon and poker are a perfect match as the game requires the same high-intensity focus and take-no-prisoners attitude which he conveys so realistically on screen. The glamour and exclusivity of high-rolling poker rooms also sounds like a natural place for a man voted as World's Sexiest to spend his time.

Unfortunately, looking like a poker pro doesn't necessary make you a good one. Players who sat across Damon at poker tables have commented that he's not a particularly brilliant player and makes odd choices while playing.

Shannon Elizabeth


Shannon Elizabeth, who got her breakout role as the sexy Nadia in 1999 comedy film American Pie, is an actress and former model who described poker as her 'second career'. Elizabeth has competed regularly at various tournaments around in Las Vegas with very encouraging results.

Risky, exciting and utterly irresistible, the same qualities you could use to describe sex symbol Nadia apply equally well for the game poker so it's no surprise that the two would go so well together. Shannon Elizabeth cashed at several World Series of Poker events and has busted many high-ranking pros and other Hollywood celebrities at poker games.

Kevin Pollak


Kevin Pollack, whose acting career kicked off after landing a role in Willow (1988) directed by Ron Howard, is another huge poker fan and regularly hosts poker games for his Hollywood friends at his LA home.

The actor learnt how to play poker at a very young age, though not for real money. He got hooked to the game while shooting the movie Casino in Las Vegas, when he used to spend most of his free time on set holed up at the Riviera playing poker hands.

Kevin Pollack played in the main event of the 2012 World Series of Poker, where he finished in 134th place out of the 6,598 participants that registered that year and earned over $52,000 in winnings.

Every time a nipple hardens, an angel gets its wings. Gallery has 30 pics, so click around. My Fiero needs a new carburetor.

*30 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Aniston
  • AnnaLynne McCord
  • Malin Akerman
  • Rosie Huntington Whiteley
  • Jessica Szohr
  • Britney Spears
  • Charlize Theron
  • Daisy Fuentes
  • Miley Cyrus
  • Lindsay Lohan
  • Sharon Stone
  • Hilary Duff
  • Megan Fox
  • Julianne Hough
  • Emmy Rossum
  • Lisa Rinna
  • Kim Kardashian
  • Nicole Kidman
  • Olga Kurylenko
  • Sharon Stone
  • Jessica Alba
  • Paris Hilton
  • Ashley Greene
  • Khloe Kardashian
  • AnnaLynne McCord
  • Anne Hathaway
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • Kaley Cuoco
  • Rosie Huntington Whiteley
  • Ali Larter

Celebrities without Makeup, a gallery

It's been far too long since we've had an ol' fashioned post full of celebrities without makeup. And that ends now. Jennifer Love Hewitt headlines the latest gallery. Rumor is if you repeat her name three times in front of a mirror, she invades your soul and terrorizes you from within. No way I'm testing that out!

*30 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Love Hewitt
  • Brooke Shields
  • Diana Ross
  • Eva Longoria
  • Evangeline Lilly
  • Heidi Montag
  • Katherine Heigl
  • Nicole Richie
  • Kimora Lee
  • Courteney Cox
  • Pamela Anderson
  • Kirsten Dunst
  • Madonna
  • Katie Holmes
  • Uma Thurman
  • Maria Shriver
  • Tara Reid
  • Melanie Griffith
  • Pamela Anderson
  • Paris Hilton
  • Rosie ODonnell
  • Kirsten Dunst
  • Goldie Hawn
  • Janice Dickinson
  • Alicia Silverstone
  • Selma Blair
  • Kate Hudson
  • Madonna
  • Reese Witherspoon
  • Tara Reid

Wardrobe Malfunctions, a gallery

This is the first time in the history of Celebslam that I've done a Wardrobe Malfunctions gallery where Paris Hilton wasn't the headline pic. I wish I could say I was joking, but I'm not. It was an incredible streak while it lasted. Paris was basically the Cal Ripken Jr. of whores. She should truly be proud. Or, you know, not.

NOTE: To see the uncensored wardrobe malfunction pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*30 wardrobe malfunctions pictures total in the gallery:

  • Claire Danes
  • Amy Smart
  • Mischa Barton
  • Phoebe Price
  • Nadine Coyle
  • Bai Ling
  • Kate Bosworth
  • Katie Price
  • Paulina Rubio
  • Denise Richards
  • Devon Aoki
  • Goldie Hawn
  • Gwen Stefani
  • Ashlee Simpson
  • Holly Madison
  • Janice Dickinson
  • Kate Moss
  • Kesha
  • Kim Catrall
  • Lily Allen
  • Lindsay Lohan
  • Mila Jovovich
  • Molly Sims
  • Natalie Portman
  • Paris Hilton
  • Rachel Bilson
  • Rebecca Gayheart
  • Rhona Mitra
  • Venus Williams
  • Victoria Silvstedt
Rose Byrne

When the calendar flips over to a new year, there's always a lot of looking back, particularly in the entertainment community. And for those of us who can't get enough of Hollywood's beautiful actresses, a lot of it centers on things like "Sexiest Roles of 2013," or "Best Sex Scenes of 2013," etc. To be fair, this can be a great deal of fun to look back on, and the past year saw a lot of pretty spectacular sex scenes.

Fans were introduced to stunning newcomer Margot Robbie with multiple steamy scenes in The Wolf Of Wall Street, and Lindsay Lohan starred alongside an actual porn star in The Canyons. That's right: whereas some of Lohan's best work can be found with respectable reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, recent co-star James Deen's best films can be found on PornHub. And actually, if you check reviews on this work, a lot of it is considered pretty great! But the point is, recapping sex scenes is fun, but it's been done to death. Furthermore, we're tired of seeing vague descriptions of actresses as "The Sexiest in Hollywood," etc. with no actual qualification. So we thought, instead of looking back at the past year, or using vague descriptions of celebrities . . . why not just rank them ourselves? Based on recent past appearances and general beauty, here are our Top 10 Sexiest Actresses to Watch For in 2014:

10. Rose Byrne (pic above)

Rose Byrne kind of flies under the radar, but manages to sex up just about any role, from pathetic victim way back in Troy to total bitch in Bridesmaids and wholly ridiculous pop star Jackie Q in Get Him To The Greek (she *almost* made up for having to lay my eyes upon Jonah Hill).

9. Olivia Wilde

First off, if you saw Olivia Wilde at the Golden Globes, you might have laid eyes on the most stunning pregnant actress in recent memory. This isn't to imply pregnant women aren't beautiful by any means; it's just that Wilde was downright sexy. She also, still, has the best eyes in Hollywood. And she can tie a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue.

8. Gemma Arterton


Arterton's problem is that she keeps doing really shitty movies. As soon as she finally lands a good role, or at least a small role in a good film, she'll probably explode in popularity. The woman is flat-out jaw-dropping gorgeous. She doesn't just elicit erections, she elicits painful erections.



In A Streetcar Named Desire, Mitch is convinced that poker and women do not mix. "Poker shouldn't be played in a house with women."

We beg to differ.

With the boom in poker in recent years, more women have joined the ranks of poker professionals. Strong-willed and beautiful, the poker ladies in this article are the sexiest players out there.

Liv Boeree

Olivia 'Liv' Boeree is a smoking hot (see above) 29-year-old poker player who looks as good as she plays.

Smart and sensuous, Liv has amassed plenty of achievements under her belt during her poker career, culminating with a victory at the 2010 European Poker Tour in San Remo, Italy. The British poker player, model and TV presenter was born in Kent and holds a degree in Astrophysics at the University of Manchester, making her brainy, as well as lovely!

But Liv's plans for her future took quite a turn when she moved to London and was introduced to the world of poker in 2005. No stranger in front of cameras, Boeree took part in several poker-themed reality TV shows where she was coached by the top poker masters including poker legend Annie Duke.

Liv is a tough gal when she's around cards; her talent quickly took her from London to Las Vegas as live reporter and then host of some of the world's biggest poker tournaments. It didn't take too long before she too stepped up to take a seat at the tables and started winning serious money. Liv has earned over $2 million in poker winnings during her 9-year-long career.

Kara Scott


Kara Scott is one hottie you'd never want to make mad.

When she's not busy wiping the floor with her competition at the poker tables, she's showing off her moves at the dojo. Kara has trained in Muay Thai and even produces a martial arts TV show which she presents as well.

'Great Scott' as she's known in poker circles started off her career as a journalist working in the UK until 2009 before discovering her talent as a poker player.  The 36-year-old has participated in numerous tournaments, and her most recent achievement was finishing second at the Irish Open, winning a pot worth $390,000.

Kara is also a source of inspiration for other female players. When challenged by her critics, she replied that she's learned to live with people who doubt her abilities and is determined to put her efforts where they really counts: at the poker tables.

Her total live poker winnings so far add up to over half a million dollars; not too bad for someone who started playing seriously barely five years ago.


Closing up shop early for the new year. Celebslam will be back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow, unless I'm hungover. So Thursday. We'll be back Thursday. Until then, enjoy this mega gallery of every single famous chick that wore a bikini this year. Like Rachel Bilson. For looking so damn good in a bikini, you think she'd be a better kisser . . .

*264 bikini pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rachel Bilson
  • January 2013\: Alena Seredova
  • January 2013\: Victoria Silvstedt
  • January 2013\: Claudia Romani
  • January 2013\: Edita Vilkeviciute
  • January 2013\: Emma Rigby
  • January 2013\: Gracie Carvalho
  • January 2013\: Jennifer Nicole Lee
  • January 2013\: Aida Yespica
  • January 2013\: Jennifer Aniston and Emily Blunt
  • January 2013\: Frankie Essex
  • January 2013\: Sophie Turner
  • January 2013\: Alessia Marcuzzi
  • January 2013\: Candice Swanepoel
  • January 2013\: Alessandra Ambrosio
  • January 2013\: Victoria Silvstedt
  • January 2013\: Milla Jovovich
  • January 2013\: Joanna Krupa
  • January 2013\: Julianne Hough
  • January 2013\: Magdalena Frackowiak
  • January 2013\: Mezhgan Hussainy
  • January 2013\: Victoria Silvstedt
  • January 2013\: Jessica Alba
  • January 2013\: Behati Prinsloo
  • January 2013\: Jennifer Lopez
  • January 2013\: Emma Rigby
  • January 2013\: Alessandra Ambrosio
  • January 2013\: Hilaria Baldwin
  • January 2013\: Pink
  • February 2013\: Erin Heatherton
  • February 2013\: Katherine Webb
  • February 2013\: Kelly Brook
  • February 2013\: Candice Swanepoel
  • February 2013\: Nina Agdal
  • February 2013\: Kate Hudson

Good morning, fans. Are you ready for the last list of the year? I know I am, and here it is: The Train Wrecks of 2013. It's just a little list of the people whose misery brought a little joy into our mundane lives this year. Enjoy and Happy New Year.

NOTE: Each picture in this gallery has commentary below it, so make sure you click through.

*15 pictures total in the gallery:

  • The Train Wrecks of 2013
  • Lindsay Lohan\: Can you believe that Lindsay isn\'t closing this list\? Well\, the reason is that although Lindsay had a bad year\, I don\'t think we\'re close to being done with her. I think that Lindsay has a Wolverine\'s liver \(by that I mean the shit eating weasel\, not the mutant from the shitty X-Men franchise\).  Lindsay\'s meltdown won\'t be complete until she\'s in prison or in a pine box . . . although considering her financial situation\, that pine box will probably just be a series of Johnnie Walker crates that have been stapled together. Red label\, not blue\, of course.
  • Gwyneth Paltrow\: Gwyneth has a special place in my cold\, dark heart. She made it perfectly acceptable for the mainstream media and clergy worldwide to use the world \
  • Bravo\: Hey\, remember when Bravo TV was supposed to be a channel dedicated to the fine arts\, but then they invented the Real Housewives genre\? I don\'t know what happened\, but they\'re about two\, maybe three seasons away from having a live decapitation on that channel. Great job\, guys\, let\'s keep your downfall going as long as possible.
  • Lil Wayne\: I know what you\'re thinking and\, no\, Lil Wayne still lives\, unfortunately. 2013 would have been remembered as the Year of the Purple Drank\, but then North America remembered to not give a shit about Lil Wayne. I\'m sorry\, but meltdowns are for celebrities and Japanese nuclear reactors . . . right\, Shannen \
  • Katherine McPhee\: Now this is a meltdown\, buddies. Katherine McPhee went from being a very likeable C-list celeb to being a dirty\, dirty home wrecker. Kat had her goody-two-shoes-image pounded out of her by her married director of a boss\, which got her TV show cancelled and forced her into hiding. It\'s too bad because dirty whore stories are the best kind of stories\, in my educated opinion.
  • Alec Baldwin\: Alec Baldwin has been in a steady decline for years. Think about it\, Alec was knocking on the A-list door for a couple of years before his shitty attitude and expanding waistline forced him into the world of overrated sitcoms. Now look at him. 2013 will be the year that we all can look back on and say that it was Alec\'s swan song. If MSNBC can fire you for being a tool\, then there really is no hope for you - although I must admit that his brand of narcissism is a perfect fit at ESPN\, and probably New York State politics.
  • Farrah Abraham\: Remember her\? She was the hardest working gal on MTV\'s Teen Mom - assuming that we all understand that by \
  • Justin Bieber\: I\'ll put Justin\'s meltdown as my personal favorite. The little douche just couldn\'t help but to crap where he eats. From pretending to bang prostitutes to having his goons grope his \
  • Chris Brown\: What a year for Chris\, huh\? He\'s clearly turned up the crazy on what\'s left of his career. Sure\, he\'s making a shit-ton of money with his repetitive drivel\, but Chris knows as well as we do that his meltdown is just about over. He\'s crossed over from a closeted R\&B sensation with an anger problem to a closeted dickhead with an anger problem. I advise for all women as well as all men who enjoy penises to steer clear of this guy until he accepts what he is or puts a gun in his mouth.
  • Kanye West\: Kanye seems to be in a hurry to be taken as a giant joke in the entertainment industry. His rants against the people who support his awful ideas are truly epic \(leather jogging pants\, really\?\). The guy came unhinged in 2013 and I\'m starting to wonder if Team KKK hasn\'t been putting Molly in his baby bottle. I have a feeling that the world might be burned out on Kanye\, which is too bad. I love posting stories of C-listers losing their shit.
  • Rob Ford\, Mayor of Toronto\: I don\'t mean to get political on you guys\, but Mayor Ford has to make this list. The guy smokes crack. HE SMOKES CRACK. The Mayor of Toronto loves the crack rock\, and he isn\'t afraid to talk about it. He has no self control\, but he does compensate with his rapier wit\, as this quote from a live press conference would suggest\: "it says that I wanted to eat her pussy. I have never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I\'ve got more then enough to eat at home.\
  • American Idol\: American Idol had a great year\, in my opinion. Sure\, ratings were way down when compared to the glory days of trying to sober up Paula Abdul for every show\, but how many talent shows have two of the four judges melt down in the same season\? The only reason I watched last season was to see if Nicki Manaj would eventually slash Mariah Carey across the face with the razor blade she keeps hidden in her mouth\, like a classy lady does. It\'s too bad they aren\'t bringing those two back\, I feel as if they have unfinished business.
  • Amanda Bynes\: Amanda went from sane to crazy to rehab back to sane in the span of about six months\, a truly impressive accomplishment. Along the way we had bongs thrown out of windows\, driveways lit on fire\, and the phrase "psychiatric hold" reintroduced into our lexicon. Amanda's not the cash cow Britney Spears is\, so her parents may actually focus on her recovery and try to keep her out of the public eye next year. It was fun while it lasted.
  • The Kardashian Empire\: Wow\, we\'re finally here. 2013 will go down as the year when Planet Earth said \

Here's a roundup of all the most hideous pictures of 2013, or as I call it: the year Sharon Stone turned 100. No, but seriously, she is quite . . . quite old. Sharon Stone is so old that, when she was born, the flag of the United States had 48 stars. No, seriously, I didn't make that up. That is 100% true.

*112 pictures total in the gallery:

  • The Ugliest Celebrities of the Year
  • January\: Anjelica Huston
  • January\: AnnaLynne McCord
  • January\: Jennifer Garner
  • January\: Katie Lee
  • January\: Nicole Richie
  • January\: Pam Anderson
  • January\: Pam Anderson
  • January\: Tori Spelling
  • February\: AnnaLynne McCord
  • February\: Bethenny Frankel
  • February\: Calista Flockhart
  • February\: Drew Barrymore
  • February\: Heather Graham
  • February\: Janice Dickinson
  • February\: Jennie Garth
  • February\: Kate Gosselin
  • February\: Kendra Wilkinson
  • February\: Nicole Eggert
  • February\: Sarah Jessica Parker
  • March\: Alyson Hannigan
  • March\: Amber Valletta
  • March\: Ashley Tisdale
  • March\: Cameron Diaz
  • March\: Diane Kruger
  • March\: Kate Walsh
  • March\: Katie Holmes
  • March\: Katy Perry
  • March\: Kendra Wilkinson
  • March\: Lisa Rinna
  • March\: Uma Thurman
  • April\: Alanis Morisette
  • April\: Alicia Silverstone
  • April\: Bethenny Frankel
  • April\: Bethenny Frankel