Celebslam Presents



Another month has passed us by, and with that, another month of sexy twitpics. Like the one above Miranda Kerr tweeted on April 20. I've never noticed this before but Miranda is very attractive. She should really consider making a career out of modeling.

*77 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miranda Kerr Twitpic
  • Selena Gomez Twitpic
  • Imogen Thomas Twitpic
  • Sara Jean Underwood Twitpic
  • Kaley Cuoco Twitpic
  • Alexa Vega Twitpic
  • Maria Menounos Twitpic
  • Arianny Celeste Twitpic
  • Jaime King Twitpic
  • Rachel Nichols Twitpic
  • Colbie Caillat Twitpic
  • Nina Agdal Twitpic
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt Twitpic
  • LeAnn Rimes Twitpic
  • Rihanna Twitpic
  • Kendall Jenner Twitpic
  • Emily Osment Twitpic
  • Jessica Alba Twitpic
  • Kym Johnson Twitpic
  • Alexa Vega Twitpic
  • Imogen Thomas Twitpic
  • Candace Bailey Twitpic
  • Ireland Baldwin Twitpic
  • Ireland Baldwin Twitpic
  • Aly Michalka Twitpic
  • Emmy Rossum Twitpic
  • Miley Cyrus Twitpic
  • Jamie Chung Twitpic
  • Candace Bailey Twitpic
  • Jessica Tyler Twitpic


Here's a little gallery I whipped up featuring all the hottest pics celebrities tweeted of themselves last month. Thank god famous people are so narcissistic or I might actually have to break a sweat at this job.

*56 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Selena Gomez Twitpic
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt Twitpic
  • Adrianne Curry Twitpic
  • Alexa Vega Twitpic
  • Aly Michalka Twitpic
  • Sara Underwood Twitpic
  • Arianny Celeste Twitpic
  • Ashley Benson Twitpic
  • Ashley Tisdale and Samantha Drake Twitpic
  • Nina Agdal Twitpic
  • Ashley Tisdale Twitpic
  • Aubrey ODay Twitpic
  • Candace Bailey Twitpic
  • Carol Vorderman Twitpic
  • Carrie Keagan Twitpic
  • Coco Twitpic
  • Colbie Caillat Twitpic
  • Sara Underwood Twitpic
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt Twitpic
  • Colbie Caillat Twitpic
  • Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez Twitpic
  • Emanuelle Chriqui Twitpic
  • Jojo Twitpic
  • Arianny Celeste Twitpic
  • Erin Heatherton and Candice Swanepoel Twitpic
  • Erin Heatherton Twitpic
  • Giada de Laurentiis Twitpic
  • Imogen Thomas Twitpic
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt Twitpic
  • Jessica Alba Twitpic


Here's a roundup of all the ugliest pictures of the year. I just finished loading this soul-crushing gallery a few minutes ago and I gotta admit, a small part of me died about halfway through. I'm gonna have to watch a lot of lesbian porn to shake this feeling. A lot. *sigh*

*117 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Suzanne Somers
  • January\: Jessica Simpson
  • January\: Joan Rivers
  • January\: Cameron Diaz
  • January\: Robin Wright Penn
  • January\: Mickey Rourke
  • January\: Joan Rivers 2
  • January\: Pam Anderson
  • January\: Katie Holmes
  • February\: Janice Dickinson
  • February\: Diana Ross
  • February\: Suzanne Somers
  • February\: Carrot Top
  • February\: Katherine Heigl
  • February\: Iggy Pop
  • February\: Tori Spelling
  • February\: Kathy Griffin
  • February\: Denise Richards
  • February\: Janice Dickinson 2
  • March\: Kirstie Alley
  • March\: Kendra Wilkinson
  • March\: Kirstie Alley 2
  • March\: Snooki
  • March\: Demi Lovato
  • March\: Debra Messing
  • March\: Carrot Top
  • March\: Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Kirstie Alley
  • March\: Pam Anderson
  • April\: Pam Anderson
  • April\: Kirstie Alley
  • April\: Teri Hatcher
  • April\: Wendy Williams
  • April\: Jocelyn Wildenstein
  • April\: Tori Spelling
  • April\: Janice Dickinson


Celebslam is shutting things down a little early today for the Christmas weekend. Enjoy this little gallery I put together of "The Top 11 Celebrities Santa Wants to Sit on His Lap This Year" because, really, why not sexualize Santa, Christmas, and the spirit of giving? It's what Jesus would have wanted.

NOTE: Click through the gallery for individual comments under each picture.

*14 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Santa Claus
  • Honorable mention\: Olivia Wilde. Olivia will crack the top 11 when she puts some meat on those bones. For now she's all face and talent\, and in my world that's just not good enough. Olivia\, how about you and I go grab a bite to eat\? It'll be fun\, just you\, me\, my camera crew\, and security detail\, and of course my mom.
  • Honorable mention\: Eva Mendes. Is Eva knocked up or something\? She started 2011 on fire\, but she fell off the map in the second half. Step it up\, Eva. You should be on this list but you keep disappearing. Let's start the New Year off on the right foot.
  • 11. Olivia Munn. Olivia Munn is on this list. Deal with it. Sure\, she's not quite as attractive as the rest of these ladies\, but Olivia has one hell of a dirty mouth\, and that takes her a very long way with me. Just watch old episodes of "Attack of the Show" and you'll see what I mean.
  • 10. Katy Perry. I know\, I know\, at first glance you'd think that Katy Perry is a bit overexposed. She's literally been everywhere and on everything\, but the fact of the matter is that Katy Perry is smoking hot and has an amazing rack. This isn't a best singer's list\, you know. Katy knows how to use those melons to serve humanity\, and isn't that the sexiest thing you can do\?
  • 9. Minka Kelly. I love Minka Kelly\, not just because she's stunning and talented\, but because she dumped the Captain. Derek Jeter has been a lost soul because Minka isn't shining on him anymore. Imagine that you can have anything in the world\: Fame\, money\, power\, adoring fans\, but the one thing you have to give up is Minka Kelly. I'm not so sure that I'd want that for myself.
  • 8. Kate Upton. If you think that if Kate Upton just exploded onto the scene\, I'd say you're right. She has everything you need for longevity in this dirty business\, and I will savor watching Kate blossom into a walking Viagra bottle. We here at Celebslam vow to feature Kate in the future. For now\, I just want to bask in her glory\, and by glory I mean vagina.
  • 7. Milla Jovovich. One of my all-time favorites is Milla Jovovich. She started out in low budget stoner flicks and now she's Hollywood's reigning "Scream Queen." Milla has a special place in my heart since she always leaves a wet spot in my shorts.
  • 6. Emmanuelle Chriqui. What can I say about Emanuelle Chriqui\? She made "You don't mess with the Zohan" watchable. In an era where nothing is left to the imagination\, Chriqui goes old school\: Less is More. One thing that's never been said on Celebslam\: "Emmanuelle didn't look her best today..."
  • 5. Bar Refaeli. Bar Refaeli is the reason why there will never be peace in the Middle East. Every time a Palestinian negotiator tries to make any point\, the Israelis simply put a picture of Bar on the table and use the PLO's erections as bargaining weapons. Well played\, Israel\, well played.

2011: The Year in Beautiful People

Here's an end-of-the-year gallery featuring the headline pic from every single "In beautiful people news . . ." post this year -- 239 pics in total. That's Sofia Vergara, above. Wow, I can't believe how good she looks. She's really taking our break-up in stride. It's clear now that she never really loved me and was just using me for my taut abs and rippling biceps.

*239 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Sofia Vergara
  • January\: Emmanuelle Chriqui
  • January\: Ashley Greene
  • January\: Summer Glau
  • January\: Selena Gomez
  • January\: Leighton Meester
  • January\: Vanessa Minnillo
  • January\: Brenda Song
  • January\: Heather Morris
  • January\: Laura Vandervoort
  • January\: Emmanuelle Chriqui
  • January\: Maria Menounos
  • January\: Danneel Harris
  • January\: Naya Rivera
  • January\: Sofia Vergara
  • January\: Bar Refaeli
  • January\: Camilla Belle
  • January\: Emmanuelle Chriqui
  • January\: Yvonne Strahovski
  • January\: Megan Fox
  • January\: Marisa Miller
  • January\: Mila Kunis
  • February\: Tasha de Vasconcelos
  • February\: Rachel Bilson
  • February\: Monica Cruz
  • February\: Minka Kelly and Leighton Meester
  • February\: Emmy Rossum
  • February\: Kate Bosworth
  • February\: Tamsin Egerton
  • February\: Minka Kelly
  • February\: Chanel Iman
  • February\: Nicole Scherzinger
  • February\: Cheryl Cole
  • February\: Vanessa Hudgens
  • February\: Chrissy Teigen
  • February\: Reshma Shetty
  • February\: Helena Mattson
  • February\: Victoria Justice
  • February\: Amber Heard
  • February\: Minka Kelly


Fellow Americans: Have a happy, and safe, Thanksgiving. Non-Americans: Have fun at work tomorrow while we all get fatter, suckers!

NOTE: All the pictures have commentary under them, so be sure to click through the full gallery.

*15 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Christina Aguilera \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Double cheeseburgers. She's not very traditional\)
  • Britney Spears \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Candy left over from Halloween\)
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Loneliness. Despair. Depression\)
  • Jessica Simpson \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Everything all at once. In burrito form. With whipped cream salsa\)
  • Whitney Houston \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Mashed potatoes. With crack on top\, of course\)
  • Kirstie Alley \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Whole Foods. The entire store\)
  • Luke Wilson \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Ice cream stuffing. He actually stuffs ice cream into the turkey\)
  • Vince Vaughn \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Turkey. I mean the whole thing\)
  • Kelly Clarkson \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Pumpkin pie-flavored mashed potatoes. She mixes them\)
  • Val Kilmer \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Anything he can reach from the couch without actually having to get up\)
  • Matthew Perry \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: TV dinner. He lives a very lonely life\)
  • Mischa Barton \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Anything with the word pie in its name\)
  • Janet Jackson \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Dinner rolls. She can fit 10 in her mouth at once\)
  • Tyra Banks \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Attention\)
  • Kathleen Turner \(Thanksgiving Drug of Choice\: Bacon\)

The 35 Most Amazing Pictures of Kim Kardashian's Butt

There's a rumor floating around that the National Academy of Sciences is considering naming Kim Kardashian's ass the Eighth Natural Wonder of the World. And I say it's about damn time. How long is she to go without official recognition that she's carrying around something truly special? I almost don't even want her to sit on it -- I just don't want her to somehow mess it up. I want my kids and my kids' kids to experience this treasure in the same way that I do on a daily basis. God bless you Kim Kardashian's ass. God bless you to hell.

*35 Kim Kardashian butt pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 1
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 2
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 3
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 4
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 5
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 6
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 7
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 8
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 9
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 10
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 11
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 12
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 13
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 14
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 15
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 16
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 17
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 18
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 19
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 20
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 21
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 22
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 23
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 24
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 25
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 26
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 27
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 28
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 29
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 30
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 31
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 32
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 33
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 34
  • Kim Kardashian Amazing Butt 35

The Hottest Chicks of Comic-Con, a gallery

Another year, another Comic-Con in the books. But let us not be sad. Let us rejoice by looking at 250 pictures of all the hottest celebrities in attendance. Like Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale, above. I heard that, right after this picture was taken, they made out for, like, five minutes. Seriously. I couldn't possibly make that up. Meth has pretty much destroyed the creative side of my brain.

*250 Comic-Con pictures total in the gallery:

  • Comic Con Hotties 1
  • Comic Con Hotties 2
  • Comic Con Hotties 3
  • Comic Con Hotties 4
  • Comic Con Hotties 5
  • Comic Con Hotties 6
  • Comic Con Hotties 7
  • Comic Con Hotties 8
  • Comic Con Hotties 9
  • Comic Con Hotties 10
  • Comic Con Hotties 11
  • Comic Con Hotties 12
  • Comic Con Hotties 13
  • Comic Con Hotties 14
  • Comic Con Hotties 15
  • Comic Con Hotties 16
  • Comic Con Hotties 17
  • Comic Con Hotties 18
  • Comic Con Hotties 19
  • Comic Con Hotties 20
  • Comic Con Hotties 21
  • Comic Con Hotties 22
  • Comic Con Hotties 23
  • Comic Con Hotties 24
  • Comic Con Hotties 25
  • Comic Con Hotties 26
  • Comic Con Hotties 27
  • Comic Con Hotties 28
  • Comic Con Hotties 29
  • Comic Con Hotties 30
  • Comic Con Hotties 31
  • Comic Con Hotties 32
  • Comic Con Hotties 33
  • Comic Con Hotties 34
  • Comic Con Hotties 35

Celebrity Nose Pickers, a gallery

We've all done it. We just all haven't been caught by the paparazzi. Yes, I'm talking about adultery the ancient art of nose-picking. Cybill Shepherd's certainly good at it. If she dug any deeper, she'd need to get a permit from the city.

27 celebrities total in the gallery, so click around . . .

*54 celebrity nose-picking pictures total in the gallery:

  • Cybill Shepherd Picking Her Nose
  • Cybill Shepherd Close Up
  • Brooklyn Decker Picking Her Nose
  • Brooklyn Decker Close Up
  • Mischa Barton Picking Her Nose
  • Mischa Barton Close Up
  • John Travolta Picking His Nose
  • John Travolta Close Up
  • America Ferrera Picking Her Nose
  • America Ferrera Close Up
  • Kelis Picking Her Nose
  • Kelis Picking Close Up
  • Tommy Lee Picking His Nose
  • Tommy Lee Close Up
  • Kate Beckinsale Picking Her Nose
  • Kate Beckinsale Close Up
  • Matt Damon Picking His Nose
  • Matt Damon Close Up
  • Josh Groban Picking His Nose
  • Josh Groban Close Up
  • Brooke Shields Picking Her Nose
  • Brooke Shields Close Up
  • Suri Cruise Picking Her Nose
  • Suri Cruise Close Up
  • Molly Shannon Picking Her Nose
  • Molly Shannon Close Up
  • Victoria Beckham Picking Her Nose
  • Victoria Beckham Close Up
  • Chelsea Handler Picking Her Nose
  • Chelsea Handler Close Up

Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions

For those of you keeping track at home, this is the third "Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions" post I've done (the other two are here and here) and all three have featured Paris Hilton as the headline pic. Coincidence? Of course not. Did you know that Paris only owns one pair of bra and panties and that they were actually given to her as a gift when she was 15? True story. I couldn't possibly make that up.

As always, gallery features a shitload of pics (20) -- so click around.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunction Pics, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*20 celebrity wardrobe malfunctions pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Emmanuelle Chriqui Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Evangeline Lilly Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Lindsay Lohan Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Adriana Lima Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Bai Ling Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Beverley Mitchell Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Britney Spears Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Claire Danes Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Debra Messing Wardrobe Malfunction

Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: