Celebrity Real Estate

Decent view, I guess

It's been a shitty year for Stuart Townsend. Not only does he get dumped by one of the hottest chicks on the planet, Charlize Theron, but now she's selling their beach house. Sucks for that dude. From the listing agent:

A Malibu beach home that offers it all! Live like a star on the private beach of La Costa in this fully furnished, entertainer's delight. With its colorful and elegant decor this beachfront home has a secure entry that leads onto an expansive lounge-like deck, hot tub, fire pit, water features, and beach toys. A wonderful master with high ceilings, picture windows, and soaking tub is one of three bedrooms (3rd bdrm has own private entrance). Additional features include drop down TV, sound system, security cameras, and a lanai. Originally the oldest home on La Costa, it has since been updated to satisfy the most discerning of clients. Available September 1st for up to 6 months.

List Price: $7,500,000 | Lease Price: $30,000/month
BDRS: 3 | BA: 3.5 | FURNISHED | Sq/Ft: 2,095 Approx | LOT SIZE: 6429

OK Charlize, here's my final offer:

• $6,500,000
• You pay closing costs
• After we sign the contract, I get to smell your hair
• The last term is non-negotiable
  

*23 Charlize Theron house pictures total in the gallery:

Miley Cyrus' new home in Toluca Lake

Miley Cyrus is moving out. The news didn't come out until this week but last April, she bought a 4,045 square-foot Spanish hacienda-style home in Toluca Lake -- just a few doors down from her parent's house -- for $3.4 million. Sitting on an acre of land, the home features 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms, a 4-car garage, a tennis court, expansive lawns, and a separate guest house. In related news, I paid my electric bill yesterday but I purposely put a check made out to the water company in the envelope hoping that they think I made an honest mistake and accidentally switched the two checks. I figure it should buy me at least another few days before they shut off my electricity.

Sharon Stone is getting f'ed in the a

On Friday I wrote about Britney Spears listing her Beverly Hills' home for $1.2 million less than what she paid for it. Well that's nothing compared to Sharon Stone. She currently has her house listed in Beverly Hills for $8.995 million -- $2 million less than what she paid for it in March 2006. From the listing:

Gorgeous walled and gated 7BR Mediterranean estate on almost 5 acres at the end of a long pvt road. Grand scale, classic style, elegant finishes, with stone and hardwood floors and four fireplaces. Enormous living room with fireplace is surrounded by huge windows and French doors, and a spacious hardwood-paneled den features an imposing marble fireplace and beautiful cabinetry. Separate 2BR guest house; incredible landscaping sets off the resort-style lagoon pool and lighted N/S tennis court. A rare private retreat.

If you could see me right now, you'd see a grown man literally squealing in delight. The only thing better than Sharon Stone losing $2 million is 3-D porn, and that hasn't even been invented yet.

Britney Spears former home in Beverly Hills

Britney Spears listed her former Beverly Hills home for sale on Monday for $5.495 million (the same house she held her two kids hostage in in 2008). She bought the house in 2007 for $6.75 million. Um, I'm pretty sure that's not how you're supposed to do it. From the listing:

Exquisite Mediterranean villa, move in condition. Located in prestigious 24 hour guard gated Summit. Artisan-quality craftsmanship embraces every element of this elegant home. Property features five bedrooms and six baths plus a maid's quarter. Warm and inviting master suite offers his and hers baths, fireplace & romantic loggia. Fabulous chef's kitchen with Viking appliances, walk-in pantry & large breakfast nook open to spacious family room. Ultimate indoor/outdoor lifestyle with all downstairs rooms opening to backyard with pool & spa, lushly landscaped and completely private. This exceptional property is gated with a three car garage.

The obvious culprit for the decline in value of Britney's home is the current recession. However, a more likely explanation is that Britney's house is just suffering the same problem as her career: not worth what it used to be. Luckily for Britney, if she really wants to recoup the money she's lost on this property, all she has to do is turn it into her dream home: a KFC. She won't even need employees. Jayden and Sean can totally run the fryer.

Kim Kardashian's new home in Beverly Hills

Kim Kardashian is the proud new owner of a $4.8 million mansion in Beverly Hills. Aww, Kim's grown up so fast. It seems like just a few years ago, we knew her only as the fresh-faced beauty getting plowed by Ray J on video. Oh wait, that was just a few years ago. From TMZ:

Sources tell TMZ that Kim's new pad is a Mediterranean villa located in Beverly Hills. The house has 5 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms, a grand two-story entry, formal living room and dining room -- each with their own fireplaces. We're told Reggie Bush is planning on moving into the 4,000 square foot pad -- and with that much space, half of the New Orleans Saints could crash too.

You've got to hand it to Kim -- she's ridden her 15-minutes of fame into millions of dollars. Compare her to Lindsay Lohan. After the success of Mean Girls, Lindsay had everything going for her. Now the only way she's getting close to a $4.8 million mansion in Beverly Hills is if she wakes up in the gutter out front. "Ali, it happened again. I need a ride home."