Recently in Celebrity Arrests Category

Shayne Lamas arrested for DUI

Leave It to Lamas "star" Shayne Lamas -- and I use that word in the loosest possible sense -- was arrested Saturday morning in Venice for DUI. Luckily for E! News, she had a press release in her trunk just waiting for the occasion:

"Early Saturday morning, after consuming one drink, I willingly drove through a mandatory check point on my way home with complete confidence of passing. However, the breathalyzer indicated that I was over the legal limit of blood alcohol content and was arrested onsite.

"I take full responsibility for my lack of judgment. I have always strived to be a role model for my friends, family and fans and have never nor will ever condone drinking and driving. I apologize for all those I have disappointed, including myself."

Obviously Shayne's lying. Police don't give breathalyzer tests at checkpoints unless someone looks drunk. And no one looks drunk after just one drink. For example, it takes three Fuzzy Navels for me to get that glazed over look in my eyes. Four, you can pretty much do whatever you want to me. Five, you can pretty much do whatever you want to me and I won't remember. Actually, maybe I shouldn't be telling everyone this. I don't need a repeat of what happened at Scout Camp back in '98. Let's just say, I still can't come within 50 feet of a bow and arrow without breaking out into a cold sweat. *shudders*

Mary Ann busted for marijuana possession

Actress Dawn Wells is currently serving six months' probation after being caught with marijuana in her car. Wells is best known for playing Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island. Though she was busted last October, she wasn't sentenced until late last month. AP writes:

On Oct. 18, Teton County sheriff's Deputy Joseph Gutierrez arrested Wells as she was driving home from a surprise birthday party that was held for her. According to the sheriff's office report, Gutierrez pulled Wells over after noticing her swerve and repeatedly speed up and slow down. When Gutierrez asked about a marijuana smell, Wells said she'd just given a ride to three hitchhikers and had dropped them off when they began smoking something. Gutierrez found half-smoked joints and two small cases used to store marijuana. (Source)

Oh sure, blame it on the hitchhikers. Well you know what, dammit, they're almost people too. Sure they don't have a car, job, or pleasant smell, but they're still valued members of society. Take their backpack and other possessions for example. Makes for great kindling. As for their bodies . . . let's just say my roses haven't been this red in years.

NOTE: Six months' probation works out to 1,460 three-hour tours