Casey Aldridge

Jamie Lynn Spears dumps her baby daddy Casey Aldridge

Jamie Lynn Spears finally dumped the guy whose inability to pull out ruined her career, 21-year-old Casey Aldridge. But she's not single -- she's dating a real-life businessman! And he's got a secretary and everything! From E!:

Britney Spears' little sis isn't moping around postsplit. The same source confirms reports that the 18-year-old has moved on with 28-year-old Louisianan James Watson.

Watson reportedly owns a communications and television equipment company called Advanced Media Partners in Hammond, La. When contacted for a statement on his rumored romance with Spears, Watson's secretary told E! News he has "no comment."

As part of the split, Jamie Lynn and Casey have agreed to divide up the assets as follows: Jamie Lynn gets the stereo, the entertainment center built of 2x4s and cinder blocks, and the Beanie Baby collection Casey and her were "saving for retirement." Casey gets the chickens (and coop), all coonskin paraphernalia  -- including all caps, and the gator skins Jamie Lynn was tanning on the old fence out back. Those are gonna make some great wallets.

Casey Aldridge in Gloster, Mississippi, last May

Casey Aldridge (the dude who knocked up Jamie Lynn Spears) rolled his truck yesterday morning in Mississippi. Casey and two of his friends were ejected from the truck but miraculously survived. The two friends refused medical treatment at the scene but Casey was airlifted to the University of Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson. He's expected to make a full recovery. Adding insult to injury, Mississippi police are charging him with careless operation of a motor vehicle, a misdemeanor. From TMZ:

We just spoke with a close family member/Baptist preacher who says Aldridge did not have surgery, but did suffer mild brain trauma. The family member said Aldridge suffered a "skull fracture around his hairline" and will be kept at the University of Mississippi Medical Center for 2-3 days for observation. Jamie Lynn Spears is at his bedside.

Talk about terrible luck. Coon season starts today. Looks like it's Top Ramen for Jamie Lynn and the baby until Casey's well enough to fire his .22 again. And she was so looking forward to making her famous chicken fried coon tonight for dinner. Damn. First the baby and now this. Girl can't catch a break.

Jamie Lynn Spears is not getting married

Remember this headline from January about Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge: "Wedding on." Oops. From OK!:

Jamie Lynn - who was 16 when she shocked the world by telling OK! in December 2007 that she was expecting a child with her 18-year-old boyfriend [Casey Aldridge] - has decided not to walk down the aisle with him.

"The wedding’s off," a source reveals to OK!. "They are still in love, living together and very happy, but they have no plans to get married. Jamie Lynn has everything she wants and feels no need for a ring and piece of paper."

Adds another insider, "She and Casey have weathered a lot in their young relationship already and don’t need the pressure of making wedding plans." (Source)

To recap, Jamie Lynn done got knocked up while still a teenager, planned a shotgun wedding, and then broke it off. This is great news for Lynne Spears. She's officially qualified to run for Vice President in 2012. Maybe she'll even give Britney a job in her administration. "Secretary of Fried Stuff" has a nice ring to it.

Jamie Lynn Spears in L.A. in 2007

So that whole thing about Jamie Lynn Spears' fiancé Casey Aldridge cheating on her? Not that big a deal. Wedding plans are on. From MSNBC:

Despite reports that Jamie Lynn Spears' relationship with fiancé Casey Aldridge has been strained as of late, the couple is moving ahead with wedding plans, according In Touch Weekly. Specifically, Spears has chosen a Monique Lhuillier gown, ordered invitations and chosen a three-tiered chocolate cake for her big day. Spears and Aldridge's daughter, Maddie, is 7 months old; no firm date for the wedding has been set. (Source)

A Monique Lhuillier gown and a three-tiered chocolate cake? What the article fails to mention is that the cake comes topped with coons' tails and Jamie Lynn's gown will have Coors Light cans dragging behind it. Also, all the invitations will be written in crayon on Walmart receipts, the reception will be BYOM (Bring Your Own Mullet), the guest with the biggest wad of chew will win a date with his/her sibling, and instead of throwing rice, guests will be encouraged to throw their teeth.