via Candice Swanepoel's instagram
Remember when Jessica Simpson got pregnant a few years ago and openly used it as an excuse to join the competitive eating circuit and she got so big that Weight Watchers was throwing money at her and we all learned what gestational diabetes was and that truck scales had uses other than just weighing trucks? Candice Swanepoel is not Jessica Simpson.
*10 Candice Swanepoel pictures total in the gallery:
Candice Swanepoel in the July issue of Vogue Spain
Here's Candice Swanepoel -- there's no other way to put it -- extremely naked in the new issue of Vogue Spain. How come the international editions of magazines are always way better than the U.S. versions? If this was a U.S. version, she'd be in a pant suit and top hat all in the name of "fashion." I can't jack off to the damn Monopoly Man! At least not sober . . .
Full gallery starts here. Very NSFW.
*14 Candice Swanepoel pictures total in the gallery:
Candice Swanepoel on the set of a photoshoot in St. Barts last December
Is Victoria's Secret Angel Candice Swanepoel Pregnant? Yes, yes she is. That would have been a ridiculous headline if she wasn't. She wrote on Instagram Sunday:
Agora e #barrigapositiva ! #babyangel (What happens now, large belly, baby angel.)If you're wondering, the father is Candice's fiance, 30-year-old Brazilian model Hermann Nicoli. The two have been dating since they first met in Paris in 2006 when Candice was 17. Damn, landing Candice Swanepoel when she was just 17. That's like buying Microsoft stock in 1986. "I'm rich! . . . in pussy!"
*30 pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Saturday, February 27, and Sunday, February 28
Alessandra Ambrosio and Candice Swanepoel shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Jessica Chastain at the 2016 Film Independent Spirit Awards held at Santa Monica Beach (pics start here)
Charli XCX at the Emporio Armani show during Milan Fashion Week (pics start here)
Katherine Heigl arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
Kate Bosworth arriving at the Sunset Towers Hotel in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Gwen Stefani arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
Jessica Biel arriving at her restaurant Au Fudge in Hollywood (pics start here)
Emily Ratajkowski leaving the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Gigi Hadid out and about in Milan during Fashion Week (pics start here)
Matt Damon arriving at Au Fudge restaurant in Hollywood (pics start here)
Jack Osbourne running errands in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
Jessica Biel at the 2016 Film Independent Spirit Awards held at Santa Monica Beach (pics start here)
*107 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
The Victoria's Secret Angels are currently in St. Barts doing some sexy photoshoot so, if it's cool with you, I'm just gonna post pictures of them all day. First up is the South African Candice Swanepoel. She needs to hurry up and become a U.S. citizen so she can become the face of African American History Month. Way hotter than Martin Luther King, Jr. . .
*30 Candice Swanepoel bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, December 8
Candice Swanepoel promoting the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at the Empire State Building in New York (pics start here)
Lala Anthony at Cosmopolitan's "Cosmo 100" luncheon at Michael's restaurant in New York (pics start here)
Victoria's Secret Angel Taylor Hill promoting the "Looks for the Runway" at Victoria's Secret in New York (pics start here)
Model Sarah Snyder departing on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
Kristen Bell at the launch of Target Wonderland in the Meatpacking District in New York (pics start here)
Lauren Conrad arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
Kiefer Sutherland running errands in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
2014 Miss Universe Paulina Vega at the 2015 Miss Universe welcome event held at Planet Hollywood Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas (pics start here)
Bryan Cranston on the set of Wakefield in Pasadena (pics start here)
Chrissy Teigen at the launch of Target Wonderland in the Meatpacking District in New York (pics start here)
Kylie Jenner arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
Liv Tyler at "An Evening Honoring Valentino" at Lincoln Center in New York (pics start here)
*105 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
As has become tradition, a whole lotta tits and ass ushered in the holiday season last night in New York. All the big models were there: Alessandra Ambrosio, Candice Swanepoel. Adriana Lima, Kim Il Sung, Behati Prinsloo, Kendall Jenner, Gigi Hadid, Pol Pot, Lily Aldridge, Elsa Hosk, and Martha Hunt. Selena Gomez performed, but we'll get to her later (hint: boobs). Justin Bieber wasn't there (Hah! Loser!) . . . because he was busy inside four chicks at the same time (aw god dammit). I don't even know how that's possible, but he's worked his way up to it. Catch this year's show December 8th on CBS, because this is 1972 and we still televise events on the home picture box a month after they've happened. Bro, do you even mobile?
*157 VIctoria's Secret Fashion Showpictures total in the gallery:
Candice Swanepoel's runway fall
Candice Swanepoel and her nipple had a little oopsy Friday night while walking the runway for Givenchy during Paris Fashion Week when she fell in front of hundreds of worried men and amused, catty bitches. No one could have seen this coming. Normally loose-fitting shoes with four-inch heels are about as stable as they come. I'm surprised they don't wear them in the NFL.
ALTERNATE HEADLINE: I've always wanted to see Candice Swanepoel go down
*20 Candice Swanepoel pictures total in the gallery:
Candice Swanepoel is extremely photogenic
Here's Candice Swanepoel butt ass naked for the new issue of My Town Magazine. I've never heard of it either. It may not be real. It's certainly not as real as my feelings for Candice. Candice, will you . . . will you go to prom with me? And if that's too forward, we'll start small. Let's meet for coffee and blowjobs.
*16 Candice Swanepoel pictures total in the gallery: