Brooklyn Decker

Brooklyn Decker speaks 

I love when hot pieces of ass have movies coming out and give interviews about the most random stuff. It gives me an excuse to post their pictures. From the New York Post:

Brooklyn Decker thanks her dad for her fantastic figure. She tells Self magazine's new issue, "I was always with other aspiring models. There were bingers and purgers, and everyone watched each other eat. It freaked me out. I did juice fasts and crazy diets and ended up gaining weight. My father did an intervention and got me to stop obsessing about everyone else and wrecking my body."

In the United States, the Presidential Medal of Freedom is regarded as the highest and most prestigious award a civilian can receive. With great pomp and circumstance, it's bestowed upon individuals who've made "an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors." After reading this article, myself and my raging erection both agree that Brooklyn's dad is way overdue for his.

*10 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker ain't bad

Brooklyn Decker is in the February issue of Esquire and you can totally see her nipples. And if you're still reading this and haven't clicked the pictures yet, unfortunately I have some bad news for you: you're gay. In hindsight, the Coldplay CD in your car should have been a dead giveaway.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Brooklyn Decker see-through pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*3 Brooklyn Decker see-through pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker looks alright in a bikini. I guess.

Finally, we have proof that Brooklyn Decker has nipples. These pictures are from this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. The one's that were actually published in the magazine had Brooklyn's nipple airbrushed out (see here). These don't. Winner: my raging erection. Seriously, my dick is so hard right now that I could hit a home run with it.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Brooklyn Decker nipple pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*5 Brooklyn Decker bikini nipple pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker is fairly attractive

Poor Brooklyn Decker. She says she doesn't have the right body for runway modeling. I swear, voluptuous bikini models like Brooklyn and my girlfriend have it so rough in life. *sigh* From the New York Post:

Brooklyn Decker, the luscious blond wife of tennis champ Andy Roddick, knows she's not anorexic enough, or grungy enough, to be a runway model. "I have boobs. I'm very all-American," she tells Page Six Magazine, which is coming free with The Post Tuesday.

"I wasn't edgy. Plus, I'd walk in and be like, 'Hey guys!' with a big smile on my face. And they'd be like, 'You are not cool. You are too nice' . . . But funnily enough, the second I started accepting that this is who I am, I started working a ton."

Brooklyn just can't stop talking about her boobs -- and she isn't the only one. Those things are more perfect than a morning sunrise, child's laugh, and clean bill of health from your doctor after a sleepover at Paris Hilton's house. Unfortunately, Brooklyn is wrong about one thing: she isn't your typical "All-American" girl. That distinction now goes to Kirstie Alley. Screw you fast food industry.

*15 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker looks ridiculous in a bikini

Great news ladies, you have another reason to hate swimsuit model extraordinaire Brooklyn Decker. She thinks she's too fat to be a model. Quote from the September issue of Women's Health:

“I have a curvy body. I have boobs. I’m a size 4. In modeling, that’s often too big. Oddly enough, [after I gave up juice fasts] more people wanted to work with me.”

Brooklyn, the reason why everyone wants to work with you isn't because you gave up "juice fasts." It's because you're professional talented built like an expectant mother. Granted, I'd never be attracted to someone as grossly overweight as a size 4, but I guess some people just aren't as finicky. In all seriousness though, if I ever had a chance with Brooklyn Decker, I'm pretty sure I'd give her the most unsatisfying 8 seconds of her life.

*52 pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker is rather attractive

PICTURED: Brooklyn Decker at the ESPY Awards last night wearing a piece from Herve Leger's new line of "Sexually Assault Me" evening wear. And it would totally be her fault, too. No jury would convict.

*32 photos total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker on the set of Just Go With It in Maui (5/12)

As the headline says, Brooklyn Decker is still in Maui filming Just Go With It. And she's still in that painfully-hot yellow bikini. Damn, she looks that good in a bikini and she can sorta do a cartwheel? That is simply amazing. What can't this chick do? Thank God she doesn't want to harness the power of the Sun and build a crazy death ray to take over the world or we'd all be in trouble.

NOTE: This picture = Wow (semi-NSFW)

*42 pics total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker bikini pics!

Pictured: Brooklyn Decker in Maui today, declaring war on flaccid penises everywhere.

*59 pics total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker on the set of Just Go With It in Maui (5/6)

I know this may come as a shock to you, but supermodels are normal people, too. They pick their nose, they fart, they whine and complain when you crank the air-conditioning up right before bed. BITCH I DON'T CARE IF YOU SLEEP NAKED, I GET HOT AT NIGHT!

UPDATE: Added 3 more pics of Brooklyn from the set yesterday, specifically of her in dripping wet underwear (see here, here, and here)

*10 13 pics total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker on the set of Just Go With It in Maui (5/3)

+ Ashley Tisdale's dumpy ass in a bikini [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Miley's slutty new video that everybody is talking about [Just Jared]
+ Candice Swanepoel has hard nipples [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Elisabeth Hasselbeck slams Erin Andres, and then cries about it [PopEater]
+ Taylor Swift looking all kinds of cute [Popoholic]

+ Fight scene or gay porn? You decide! [Holy Taco]
+ Liz Hurley's tits are in charge [CityRag]
+ Yeah, Gisele is still pretty damn hot [moejackson]
+ Snooki punched someone [Litely Salted]
+ Jennifer Aniston has a life coach [Cele|bitchy]

LIST OF THE DAY: Top 10 Weird Romantic Destinations

*11 pics total in the gallery: