Brooklyn Decker

Brooklyn Decker in Miami in 2011

Brooklyn Decker says she was intimidated by the sight of Jennifer Aniston in a bikini on the set of Just Go With It in 2011. Wait, what? Is this backwards day? From the Daily Mail:

They starred together in the 2011 comedy movie Just Go With It. But Brooklyn Decker has revealed that she was so 'awestruck' by Jennifer Aniston's beauty on the set of the film that she was too scared even to exercise with her. Brooklyn made the revelation as she posed for a stunning new shoot in Women's Health magazine.

Asked who she would want if she could choose anyone as a body double, Brooklyn said: "It's got to be Jennifer. She's so active and had to be in a bikini for Just Go With It - she just had this glow about her. I was a bit awestruck! I was invited to do yoga with her on set but they had so many good yogis I was intimidated and chickened out."

I really like this Brooklyn Decker gal, I really do. The truth of the matter is that Jennifer is damn fine and should be totally intimidating to every woman not named Brooklyn Decker. I'm fine with her "pretending to be in awe" schtick, but the real reason Brooklyn is eating ass is because Jennifer is a power player in Hollywood. Pissing Jennifer Aniston off means you are retiring from relevancy -- just ask the entire cast of Friends. Or Angelina Jolie, who has fallen on such hard times that she can only afford to vacation in Africa now. That being said, if Brooklyn feels the urge to help her career by scissoring Jennifer, by all means be my guest -- just give me a minute to get a box of tissue and a bowl of popcorn.

*45 Brooklyn Decker bikini body pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker looking stupid hot

Note to Justin Timberlake: If you ever tire of Jessica Biel, Brooklyn Decker's waiting for you. From the New York Daily News:

Brooklyn Decker's come a long way from growing up as a North Carolina tomboy to being this week's guest editor for AOL StyleList. "I actually made a pair of pants with the faces of every member of 'N Sync on them to wear to their concert. Jealous?" she tells Confidenti@l. "Those are definitely going to come back to haunt me one day."

Wow, how stupid must JT feel right now? Justin could've had his way with pre-celeb Brooklyn Decker and become the Leo DiCaprio of pulling ass before Leo DiCaprio became the Leo DiCaprio of pulling ass. She could've been his Bar Refaeli. Instead, Brooklyn falls for a guy, Andy Roddick, whose list of talents include more than just being able to dress well and hit a high note like the male version of Mariah Carey. I'd love to know how Brooklyn feels about a master of the internets. I might not have an open invite to Jimmy Kimmel, but I am the 148th most popular player on the X-Box Live North American server.

*30 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker in Hawaii in 2010

We should all shed a tear for Brooklyn Decker. In an interview last week, she said it's been tough looking like a supermodel her entire life. Take her height, for example -- it's scared away men her entire life. Look, I don't care if this bitch was eight feet tall, I would bang the bejeesus out of her. Via Contact Music:

Brooklyn Decker thinks men find her scary. The model-turned-actress -- who is married to tennis player Andy Roddick -- says she was never really approached by guys before she tied the knot as she thinks she's too tall for most of them.

She said: "I am very tall and I feel like it is actually quite scary to boys. And I really mean that. I never get approached by people - I think they are scared because they think I will crush them or something."

However, she says Andy wasn't put off by her height and his persistence paid off, revealing: "He was resilient. He called a lot, which deterred me at first, and then for some reason it worked when I called him back. And yeah, it worked."

Brooklyn is sorta right. Any average height man who's trying to have a conversation with her has no choice but to ogle those tits, which are indeed spectacular. That can be intimidating. Why do you think Andy Roddick retired from tennis? He was wasting time and energy making millions of dollars playing a girly game when he could have been at home, plowing into Brooklyn. Of course I can't blame the man, she's so hot that "Brooklyn Decker" gets more Google hits than the New York borough of Brooklyn, according to sources (those sources of course being my right hand).

*13 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker pretty much calls all models dumb

C'mon sexy models, you're not just gonna let Brooklyn push you around like this, are you? Show her who's boss . . . preferably in a large vat of chocolate pudding. Via Contact Music:

Brooklyn Decker doesn't miss modelling. The blonde beauty - who is now making a career out of being an actress - insists she has no regrets about leaving her fashion career because she enjoys using her brain.

She said: "To be honest, I don't miss it. I started modelling so that I could pay for college to be a veterinarian. I didn't have a passport. My first flight was for a modelling job so I loved the opportunity it brought. But at the end of the day, you're not doing much with your mind. So, for me, I miss the people I work with, but I feel more stimulated acting."

I can totally understand where Brooklyn is coming from, believe me. But as awesome as she is, I'd love it if she eased up on the model bashing. Models have walked out of moving buses, walked into airplane propellers, and have mistaken 6'5" Former NBA jerkoff Charles Barkley with 4'8" The Voice jerkoff Cee Lo Green, so they're definitely morons. But that's what makes them endlessly entertaining. Please don't point out how dumb they are, Brooklyn, no matter how right you are. Oh, and nice tits.

*10 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker filming Just Go With It in Maui in 2010

In a recent interview with FabSugar, Brooklyn Decker pretty much said that she hates her body. Wow, if Brooklyn feels this way, you normal chicks have no chance. From the interview:

FabSugar: We've been following your Battleship tour and you have such a great eye for putting your looks together; how do you choose the right dress?

Brooklyn Decker: "I have help from a stylist, a good friend of mine. It's her and I and we do it together, we're such a team. The biggest thing is finding that balance between masculine and feminine. Because I'm such a tomboy, I hate showing off my body, and she's always like 'you have to show your figure.'"

If you really really really want to bang a tomboy, what does that make you? Gay? Bisexual? Tomsexual? Aw god dammit, I haven't been this confused about my sexuality since that one time I fucked Ryan Seacrest. I kid, I kid.

*73 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker in the May issue of GQ

+ Jade Bryce might be the hottest MMA Ring Girl [Busted Coverage]

+ Sexy pics of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley to celebrate her b-day [BroBible]
+ Jennifer Love Hewitt talks about her boobs [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Julianne Hough shows off some creative cleavage [Popoholic]
+ Imogen Thomas wearing see-through pants (site NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]

+ George Clooney's ex dumped by Steve-O. Ouch. [Cele|bitchy]
+ LiLo is about to get fired [Evil Beet]
+ Jason Biggs blowing himself [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
+ Jenny McCarthy talks romance [I'm Not Obsessed]

BIKINI PICS OF THE DAY: Monika Pietrasinska is crazy hot

*10 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker in the April issue of GQ Turkey

+ Audrina Patridge is still alive, sexy [Hollywood Tuna]

+ Hayden Panettiere playing bikini tennis [The Superficial]
+ Bar Refaeli strips down for new bikini photoshoot [Celebuzz]
+ Jessica White can some killer legs [IDLYITW]
+ Model Emily Ratajkowski gets naked (NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Renee Olstead is a hot chick on the rise [Popoholic]
+ The sexiest shots of Alyson Hannigan [Linkiest]
+ An obvious gold digger [moejackson]
+ Um, ouch [Guyism]
+ Wait, I thought this already happened [Dlisted]

+ Nicole Scherzinger is bringing sexy back. Get it? [Pick Me Up News]
+ Brooklyn Decker is a tomboy? [CityRag]
+ Kris Jenner is thrilled with Kim's new publicity stunt [popbytes]
+ Lindsay Lohan is bad at dressing [Yeeeah!]

*10 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker drinking a beer in Battleship

Brooklyn Decker pretty much just called every model in the world dumb. C'mon, you're not just gonna sit back and take that, are you models? . . .  JELL-O FIGHT! From the Daily Mail:

[Brooklyn Decker] has long had the sort of online fanbase and professional clout that equals a very healthy bank balance, but not the job satisfaction she craved, and the SI cover would be her last modelling assignment. "I loved the travel but I didn't love the work," she confesses candidly, rolling her eyes. "I mean, come on, modeling is only so stimulating!"

Her [acting] success, she says, comes down to a mixture of luck, hard graft and resilience in the face of repeated rejections. "To start with people would dismiss me, simply because I was a model. So you have to work extra hard hoping that they'll see something more in you than just the way you look. As soon as I got "Just Go With It," I left the modelling world behind, which is a big thing to do when you're at the top."

Shhh! Did you hear that? If you didn't, please close your eyes and get the wax sucked out of your ear canals because that, my dear friends, was the sound of Brooklyn Decker delivering the Superman punch to all of her supermodel colleagues. That's how you do it, bitches. "Never look back at the bridges you set fire to, pussy" -- that's what Princess Diana told me in 1994, and damn it, that's how Brooklyn is living. Will she end up selling shitty cosmetics products like the rest of the supermodels-turned-movie-stars-turned-Avon Ladies? Only time will tell, but for now, let's sit back and enjoy the catfights.

*12 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker bikini pics! (4/9)

Brooklyn Decker is currently in Sydney for the Australian premiere of her new movie Battleship. That's her lounging by the pool at her hotel yesterday. Note that Brooklyn's husband Andy Roddick isn't with her to apply sunscreen all over her soft, tender back. As such, the bottle sits behind her, unused. Now I'm not saying that she should divorce him and marry me, but if I was her husband, I definitely wouldn't try to get her skin cancer. It's your call, Brooklyn.

*30 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery:

Brooklyn Decker

Brooklyn Decker at a photocall for her new film Battleship at the Villamagna Hotel in Madrid, Spain (3/30)

*30 Brooklyn Decker pictures total in the gallery: