Brooke Hogan promoting her new CD at club Sobe Live in Miami (7/31)
The producer who worked with Brooke Hogan on her debut album, the troubled
Scott Storch, is finally admitting what we already knew. Her music sucks. From
Details magazine:
"I was doing blow (cocaine) 24/7. It was out of control. I love Brooke, but I did that shit because her father was putting all sorts of pressure on me. Sure, it was fun. But the thing is, I didn't make one good bit of music when I was high on coke. Not one bit."
Singer Hogan parted ways with Storch 10 months after her album Undiscovered was released in October 2006.
Is this news supposed to be shocking? Obviously anyone who would have stooped low enough to produce an album for Brooke Hogan had to be high on something. If this guy hadn't admitted to being coked out all the time, he'd have become more of a pariah in the music industry than Kanye West. On a side note: that "pressure" Scott was feeling wasn't from Hulk Hogan. It was from the bulge in Brooke's underwear.*
*what Brooke's bulge might have looked like
HERE
Brooke Hogan bikini pictures! Brooke Hogan in Miami (July 2008)
Brooke Hogan shopping at the Caesars Palace Forum Shops in Las Vegas (5/5)
Is Brooke Hogan about to be forcibly committed, a la Mischa Barton or Britney Spears? Sure, why not. Hopefully they make straight jackets out of Kevlar because Brooke will tear right through that cotton shit. From
Fox News:
The 21-year-old reality starlet/songstress was scheduled to perform alongside Sean Kingston, LMFAO & rising pop princess Kristine Elezaj at PARTY 105’s MEGA JAM Concert in New York this past Saturday. However Pop Tarts has exclusively learned that Hogan pulled out at the last minute after suffering anxiety attacks, along with some other medical ailments.
We’re also told that her famous father Hulk Hogan (who was scheduled to host the whole concert) then withdrew in order to be by his daughter’s side, forcing organizers to proceed without a hosting replacement.
"Brooke is incredibly sensitive," a source close to the starlet said. "She really cares about everyone around her and takes on a lot."
It's not surprising Brooke's having anxiety attacks, especially when you consider all the things in her life right now that she must be worrying about: like her
parents' divorce, her mother
dating a teenager, and of course most importantly, the best way to tuck when she wears a bikini. If Brooke really needs to workout the issues she's currently going through, there's only one person she should talk to:
Caster Semenya.
NOTE: If Brooke wants to overcome her fears of appearing on stage, she needs to practice. On a completely unrelated note, I hear
La Cage Aux Folles is now auditioning.
Brooke Hogan out and about in Miami (8/2)
I don't know how Brooke Hogan can wear a dress that short yet still keep her penis tucked. It's a miracle of modern science and technology. The baby boomers had the moon landing. We have this.
Brooke Hogan shopping in Miami (5/18)
Hulk Hogan is pissed about the comments his estranged wife Linda
made last week about their daughter Brooke. And . . . and . . . I don't even know what to say about these people anymore. They're all horrible, horrible people. From
Life & Style:
"I can’t believe Linda would do this," the former wrestling champ tells Life & Style exclusively. "She’s lost and needs help."
Hulk vehemently denies Linda’s claim that he was “rolling and smoking joints” with Brooke’s boyfriend, Stack, during one of Brooke’s recording sessions. “Absolutely not!” he shoots back. “Brooke is a clean-cut girl. She’s very open and honest.” In fact, Hulk suggests that Linda, who filed for divorce in 2007 after 24 years of marriage, is the one using drugs. Linda has said she’d happily submit to a drug test to prove otherwise. Hulk’s response? “If Linda says she’ll take a drug test, I say bring it, brother! It needs to be done, and she’ll fail it.”
In the meantime, he just wants Linda to stop attacking their little girl. “Brooke can’t have a relationship with her mother like this,” he tells Life & Style. “I hope one day Linda will grow up and be an adult like Brooke is. Linda has to reach to her level. One day, maybe.”
Has there ever been better evidence of Karma? At this point, about the only scandal involving this family that might be even remotely surprising would be if one of them were accused of
nearly killing someone dating someone half their age finishing a book without pictures. Even the Manson Family thinks the Hogan Family are a bunch of monsters.
NOTE: It's obvious why Hulk is backing up his daughter: he's confusing her with
his girlfriend.
Linda Hogan is fucking crazy
The Hogan Family feud just got stepped up a notch. And Brooke Hogan better watch the fuck out. Because if she doesn't shut up and stop lying every time she opens her mouth, she'll be facing the lyrical bullets of
her mom's boyfriend Charley Hill. From
OK!:
The Hogan family has been going back and forth lately, with Brooke Hogan laying accusations of drug use at her mother Linda Hogan's door. Linda then responded by saying her daughter had breast implants, among other things: "[If] Brooke continues to spew lies on behalf of her father's lame attempt to distance himself from the reality that he is no different from the homicidal OJ Simpson, [Linda's new boyfriend] will be forced to put aside his paramedic/firefighting career path and release an album called 'Redemption' which will easily surpass any of Brooke's records sales."
I've heard a lot of crazy shit in my day but threatening to turn your boyfriend into a pop star has to be near the top. I just hope Brooke doesn't take this threat too lightly. Just imagine if Charley suddenly had an album for sale on iTunes. She might literally die.
Brooke Hogan at her 21st birthday celebration at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas (5/5)
Linda Hogan was
persona non grata at Brooke Hogan's
21st birthday dinner last week at Spago restaurant in Las Vegas. Celebrating the occasion was Brooke's father Hulk, brother Nick, and boyfriend Stack$. Ouch Linda, that's gotta hurt. A dude with a dollar sign in his name was invited to the dinner and you weren't. A source told
Fox News:
"Linda was really, really hurt. But Brooke has sided with her father in all of this, she was adamant about not celebrating with her mom or extending an invitation."
Following dinner, Brooke partied with (and couldn’t keep her hands off) her beau inside PURE nightclub while typically protective Hulk looked on disapprovingly.
I'd hate to be in Brooke's position here, having to choose between feuding parents. On one side you have the Hulk, a dude who's dating basically
a slightly older version of you. On the other side you have Linda, a woman who's dating basically
a slightly taller version of your brother. They're both horrible, horrible people. It'd be like if you were playing basketball at the park and picking teams and the only two people left were Hitler and Pol Pot. I mean, obviously you'd pick Pol Pot because Hitler can't go to his left but I think you get my point.
Jennifer McDaniel, Hulk Hogan, and Brooke Hogan at Brooke's 21st birthday celebration at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas (5/5)
HINT: It's not Brooke.
UPDATE (2:10 PST): Please stop with the emails. I told you, it's not Brooke.
Brooke Hogan at the Record Release Party for Stack$ at SOBE Live in Miami (4/18)
Brooke Hogan's come to the defense of her father over
the comments he made in
Rolling Stone about understanding why O.J. Simpson murdered his ex-wife. She told
The Insider:
"I cannot believe how blown out of proportion one small part of a 7-page article has become. It’s a classic case of a quote being taken out of context. I look up to my father in every way. He has been through so much and has taken the high road through it all. The idea that he would condone the O.J. situation is just outrageous."
It pains me to say this but Brooke's right. Out of the entire article, Hulk only implied that he wanted to kill his ex-wife Linda once.
Once. That's just one small part of the 7-page article. Everyone needs to lighten up.
Hulk Hogan at Tampa International Airport (3/240
Hulk Hogan is finally addressing his daughter Brooke's rather "
interesting" performance last weekend in Miami, a performance he seemingly enjoyed. He told
Life & Style:
"I try to make it to as many of Brooke’s performances as possible. I support her and everything that she does. I’d watch my daughter perform no matter what she does."
No matter what she does? It's official: The Hulk has reached DEFCON 5 levels of dad creepiness . . . or as I call it: "The Joe Simpson Level." Maybe the two can become friends and swap strategies about how best to "accidentally" enter their daughters' rooms when they're changing. "Jessica usually gets pretty pissed when I walk into her bedroom and get a glimpse of those huge suckers. The trick is to give her a ball of yarn to play with and then she forgets the whole thing ever happened."
