Archive: Britney Spears

Britney Spears is opening the VMAs

It was announced late yesterday that Britney Spears is opening up the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday. Sources told People it will not be a musical performance. In a statement released by her publicist, Britney said:

“MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs? I’m excited to open the entire show, to say hi to my fans and to be nominated.” (Source)

Of course who could forgot Britney’s “performance” last year at the peak of her craziness. I know most of you think she can’t possibly do worse than that. You’d be wrong my friends. Why? Fire. I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but something’s getting burned down this year.

A little forward, aren’t we Britney?

Britney Spears enjoyed a fun-filled weekend lounging by the pool at the Mirage in Las Vegas. Joining her on her mini vacation? Former paparazzo-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib. People says:

On Sunday, rather than staying by her private pool, Spears made her way to Bare Pool where she sipped Fiji bottled water and sunned in the VIP area.

“Her body looked great,” an onlooker said. “It looks like she’s getting her body back, back to the old Britney.”

While Spears basked in the high Vegas heat, a familiar face meandered through the Mirage – her ex boyfriend, photographer Adnan Ghalib. The paparazzo and Spears did not see each other in public though they were within a few yards of each other several times. (Source)

Why is it when Adnan is seen “within a few yards” of his ex-girlfriend it’s called “meandering” around, and when I do it the Judge calls it “stalking”? On a completely unrelated note that has nothing to do with the fact that Britney’s a millionaire and Adnan sifts through her garbage to pay his rent: the High Roller Area at the Mirage is “within a few yards” of the penny slots. Just an FYI.

[INFDaily.com, Splash News]

Britney Spears arriving to a recording studio in L.A. (8/20)

+ Ellen DeGeneres and her new wife want kids? [Just Jared]

+ Courtenay Semel (Tila Tequila’s girlfriend) is a Busted Up Fame Whore [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Lindsay Lohan Side Boob Returns [Egotastic!]
+ Charlize Theron showing her “O” face [F-Listed]
+ Katherine Heigl is a litterbug [ICYDK]

+ Emmanuelle Chriqui Is Absolutely Stunning [Popoholic]
+ Model Louise Glover shoots pool . . . topless [Horny Oyster]
+ Ice Cube has one seriously angry family [Bossip]

[WENN]

This pic’s worth $154,443

Remember Britney Spears’ vacation to Cabo last week? Remember how I posted a bunch of bikini pics and you, um, looked at them? Britney’s now trying to sell an “exclusive” set of bikini shots from her vacation to anyone that has too much money and doesn’t care that everyone’s already seen the pics. And she’ll throw in a 2003 calendar for free!* From the New York Post:

Spears’ recent frolic in Cabo, where she wore a white bikini and swam with dolphins, was “set up by her camp,” said a source. And while plenty of paparazzi shots have surfaced already, our insider insists Spears “has brokered a series of shots that she’s offering exclusively to a celebrity weekly for $1 million.” (Source)

Who are these people willing to pay $1 million for pictures of Britney? If the paparazzi want to take pictures of a bleached blonde/has-been/ mother of two at just a fraction of that cost, I suggest they start with someone else . . . CLICK HERE to read more about Tori Spelling! The only pictures of Britney Spears worth 7 figures are the ones where she’s caught having sex, no longer breathing, or both.

*doesn’t include March

[Splash News]

Always on the lookout for a value, that Jamie Spears

An L.A. judge today extended Jamie Spears’ control over his daughter Britney until the rest of the year. Jamie’s pretty much been running shit in Britney’s life since early February. A source close to the family told People:

“The extension of the conservatorship was at the request and suggestion of Britney’s doctors. They’ve indicated she’s made great improvement, but it’s a work in progress. Jamie Spears doesn’t want the conservatorship to last a day longer than the doctors recommend.” (Source)

Obviously this a huge blow to Jamie. Coon hunting season starts in just a few weeks and I have it on good authority that Jamie was reckonin’ to bag him a ten-pounder.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Britney and Lee in Cabo San Lucas (7/27)

That dude Britney Spears was photographed with on her trip to Mexico over the weekend? Turns out that’s her bodyguard Lee. Did I mention she’s also having sex with him? Because she’s also having sex with him. A source told The Sun:

“He is her perfect type.”

Has penis.

“She loves guys who work out and he is in great shape from his days serving in the Israeli Army. He also has a few tattoos, which she loves.”

He has a skull and crossbones on his ankle which Britney loves having long conversations with.

“They’ve spent so much time together that one thing led to another and their relationship became physical. They are in Mexico together. They’ve been having a great time — Lee’s put a smile on her face.” (Source)

Wow, this is just like the 1992 smash-hit The Boydguard! Wait, did Whitney Houston ever attempt to fry a live chicken in that movie?

[Splash News]

Barack Obama compared to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears

In his latest ad for the 2008 election, John McCain invokes the power of Paris and Britney. As the narrator calls Barack Obama “the biggest celebrity in the world,” two pictures of Paris and Britney are quickly flashed on the screen. Damn that is low. Barack, I just wanna let you know that I’m here for you (read: give me $$$$$$$$$). If John McCain wants to turn this election into a celebrity analogy attack fest, I’m your man. I’ve already started working on some new slogans (the last one’s particularly cruel):

• John McCain: On key issues, he’s flip-flopped more times than Lindsay Lohan’s sexuality.

• John McCain: The only thing older than him is the dried semen on Pam Anderson’s underwear.

• John McCain: He fucked Paris Hilton. Twice.

Barack Obama is more famous than Paris and Britney

Britney Spears bikini pics! (Cabo San Lucas, Mexico - 7/27)

That’s Britney Spears on vacation in Cabo over the weekend. She looks . . . she looks . . . decent. It’s a miracle of the flesh, before our very eyes! God bless you founder of Bacon Addicts Anonymous (BAA), God bless you fine sir.

NOTE: 10 more Britney Spears bikini pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)

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She must be near a McDonald’s

OK! magazine claims that Britney Spears is reuniting with former boyfriend/current obsession Justin Timberlake for a duet to be featured on her new album. Gee, what could possibly go wrong? OK! says:

[Britney], who recently became an auntie, will get a helping hand from the SexyBack singer, reveals OK! USA exclusively. Madonna recently revealed she would love to reunite the pair during her world tour. Britney is currently working on her latest album, which is yet to be assigned a release date.

Her record label said: “[Britney] is spending her summer in the recording studio, working on a brand new album. She’s working with a team of top-notch producers and songwriters and we’re very excited about what she’s accomplished so far.” (Source)

Britney doesn’t need Justin to perform a duet. That crazy bitch has enough voices in her head to perform a one woman choir. Besides, didn’t these two learn anything from Sonny and Cher? Because like Sonny, one of them is bound to end up killing themselves due to too much white powder (Britney). And like Cher, the other is destined to become an icon for drag queen burlesque shows (Justin).

[WENN]

Happier times

Avoiding the stress and media circus surely to surround their upcoming trial, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have settled their custody dispute. Kevin wins! Britney gets visitation but Kevin gets sole legal and physical custody. Federline’s attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan told E!:

“Kevin was not [out] to get custody. Kevins goal was to set up some kind of template so the mother of his children can co-parent. He said I need to have Britney to be involved in the coparenting of the kids but I need there to be a structure. Nobody could have anticipated the terms of events that have occurred….This was a two-year journey that will be halted at a point that is good for these children. Custody is always modifiable. If there is a final order, it means there is nothing to try.” (Source)

This is so unfair to Britney. You take your kids hostage *one* time and everybody freaks out. I mean, sheesh, lighten up!

[BauerGriffinOnline]