Britney Spears watching her sons play soccer in Calabasas
(11/9) Blurred Lines
singer Robin Thicke banged Britney Spears back in the day when she was still sane Britney Spears. Nice. That actually used to count as an accomplishment. From In Touch Weekly
The pair had a fling in 2003 -- when Britney was at the top of her game and Robin was trying to get recognized. "He was trying hard to develop a reputation as a hot, young singer, and Britney was the biggest thing in show business," the source tells In Touch, sharing that the two met collaborating on a project (which was never released) and "started hooking up."
Robin's reps deny any such relationship. However, the source says that while the "Toxic" singer was newly single, recently splitting from Justin Timberlake, Robin had been dating actress and now wife Paula Patton since high school-- a fact he was keeping quiet then.
Come on, this isn't a story. Let's not pretend that Britney's meat pocket is some sort of star maker just because Robin Thicke signed her registry decades ago. Sure, Robin scored a monster hit last summer with that silly Blurred Lines
song, but the success of that song is due to the video of that big-titted dancing girl
with the unpronounceable last name shaking her goodies
for the camera. If Britney's taco had any magical qualities whatsoever, there'd be thousands of former bar tenders, baristas, and parking lot attendants of questionable legal status who'd be famous, too. *20 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:
Britney Spears leaving a dance studio in L.A.
Is anyone looking forward to Britney Spears Las Vegas residency
as much as I am? You can barely
tell her medication has turned her into little more than a functioning zombie. Her shows are sure to be full of energy and excitement!*15 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:
Britney Spears leaving BBC Radio 1 studios in London
Note to Britney Spears: When you buy a really expensive coat to wear once and then return for a refund (aka "ghetto renting"), at least take the tag off if the paparazzi are taking pictures of you. And most stores don't accept coats back with gravy on them, so be careful.*30 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:
Britney Spears leaving Gelson's in Thousand Oaks
In an interview with the The TJ morning show
earlier this week, Britney Spears admitted that, despite the pressure, she's over trying to be sexy. Don't worry, Britney, that ship sailed long ago.
"Oh my god, we showed way more skin and did way more stuff for the video [for Work Bitch] then what is actually there. Like, I cut out half the video because I am a mother and because, you know, I have children, and it's just hard to play sexy mom while you're being a pop star as well. I just have to be true to myself and you know, feel it out when I do stuff.
"A lot of sex goes into what I do. But sometimes I would like to bring it back to the old days when there was like one outfit through the whole video, and you're dancing the whole video, and there's like not that much sex stuff going on. It's about the dance and it's about being old school, it's like keeping it real and just making it about the dance. I'd love to do a video like that."
Uh oh, crazy Britney is back, ya'll. Brit is obviously off her meds because there isn't a woman in the world who doesn't want to be sexy (WNBA players and Ellen Degeneres excluded). Britney should just be honest and say she wishes it was 1999 again, so she and all the voices in her head could relive the glory days as the biggest star in the world. Going from headlining stadiums to being the opening act for some gay Canadian YouTube star would be hard for anyone to accept. Geez, I'm already seeing half a shaved head and a gurney tour of Sunrise Hospital & Medical Center in Britney's near future. *20 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:
Britney Spears leaving a dance studio in Calabasas
If you're like me, you just assumed Britney Spears' upcoming residency
in Las Vegas would feature Britney loaded up on horse tranquilizers gently swaying back and forth to her hits while her father Jamie controlled her movements from above with ultra strong fishing line (a sort of real life marionette, but with more crying, confusion, and frosting stains). Nope. According to Planet Hollywood's VP of Entertainment Kurt Melien, Britney will actually sing. He told the Las Vegas Sun
"She's in the physical shape and vocal shape to sing the entire show. [She is] super pumped and really excited about the show and has already been working out and rehearsing ever since negotiations began. It will be a big Las Vegas-style production show married to a dance-club environment ... 21 of her greatest hits and some of the new music from her eighth studio album."
God damn it, I can't wait for Britney's big comeback! And I don't mean Britney the singer/dancer -- I mean Britney the alcohol-fueled rage monster. Here's a history lesson for my younger readers: Britney was the shit back in the dark ages, circa 1999. How big? Well, Madonna wouldn't have started kidnapping children from Sub-Saharan Africa to stay relevant had it not been for Britney's takeover of the music world. Then she had her first sip of moonshine and it's been a never ending extravaganza of mirth and mayhem. And I dare to say that even though Simon Cowell's marriage-busting meathammer settled Brit down for a while during her X-Factor
stint, her inner idiot is primed and ready for a resurrection that only Jesus Christ and Tupac Shakur can appreciate.
*20 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:
Britney Spears leaving dance practice in Westlake Village
has some of the details about Britney Spears upcoming residency
at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas. To sum it up, money. Lots and lots of money.
The 2-year contract calls for 48 shows a year at Planet Hollywood. According to the contract, Britney will earn $310,000 per show. Britney's cut of the gate is huge -- projected sales per show are $508,514, meaning Brit will be snagging more than 60%.
As we reported, producers are shooting for a "cool, hip club-like show" ... unlike the run-of-the-mill Vegas shows that preceded it. It starts in December.
According to the Las Vegas Sun
, Britney has also become a partner in the new Meatball Spot restaurant opening next to Planet Hollywood (no, seriously
). That means she'll be living right next to a restaurant where she can eat as many free sandwiches, salads, pizzas, and meatballs as she likes. And when the restaurant closes, she can go back to her room, dial up room service, and get literally any kind of food on Earth delivered to her front door at any time of the day. So you better enjoy that first show before Britney learns of the "special phone" right next to her bed. Because, ladies and gentlemen, it is all downhill from there.*20 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:
Britney Spears on the set of the music video Work Bitch in Malibu
A few days ago Britney Spears tweeted a picture of herself in a bikini on the set of her new video Work Bitch
), and now everyone can't stop gushing about how amazing she looks. Except, as you can see in these pictures she didn't take of herself in favorable lighting, she doesn't look amazing. She looks like a 31-year-old mother of two with a dumpy ass. Mind you, that doesn't make her a bad person. I just don't want her walking in the next Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.*11 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:
Britney Spears and David Lucado driving home from church in Thousand Oaks
Former Cheetah Girls singer and current host of The Real
(is that even a real show?) Adrienne Bailon
says Britney Spears is basically a robot, hopped up on so many meds that she's unable to form coherent sentences without the help of others. Via the San Francisco Chronicle
[Bailon] worked as a backstage host on [The X Factor] last year, and she had to interview the judges, including Demi Lovato and Spears. Speaking during an appearance on the talk show "The Real," Bailon claimed she had no troubles with Lovato but struggled to interact with troubled pop star Spears.
She says, "The ultimate meltdown was Britney Spears ... I worked with her on 'X Factor' and I'm not going to lie to you guys, I would sit and do my interviews with Demi and do the behind-the-scenes stuff. But [Britney] can't hold a conversation. No. They have someone who feeds her what she is supposed to say. Like she can't hold a conversation."
Yeah, this C-lister no one has ever heard of is probably right -- Britney Spears is indeed some sort of preloaded quote-spewing robot. Well, more like an android (with an awesome rack
). That being said, who is this far less-endowed bimbo with a microphone? Like her or not, this is Britney Fucking Spears she's speaking of. Adrienne Bailon was in Slumdog Destiny's Child so she has no idea what success can do to a
woman. Before she judges her, Adrienne should at least try to get a career in entertainment going. And banging
Rob "Buffet Connoisseur
" Kardashian doesn't count.*30 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Friday, August 2
out and about in Thousand Oaks (pics start here
out and about in New York (pics start here
at the premiere of HBO's Clear History
in Hollywood (pics start here
YouTube star Megan Nicole
performs at The Grove in Los Angeles (pics start here
out and about in Brentwood (pics start here
taking her dog for a walk in Toluca Lake (pics start here
taking her daughter shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here
goes for a tour bus ride in Vancouver (pics start here
leaving the gym in West Hollywood (pics start here
leaving a salon in West Hollywood (pics start here
going to a chiropractor office in Santa Monica (pics start here
and Cash Warren
having lunch at M Cafe in Beverly Hills (pics start here
*103 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Britney Spears giving Pauly D a lap dance during her concert in Puerto Rico in 2011
This can only end with Britney getting knocked up with a Jersey Shore
baby. From In Touch Weekly
Will Britney Spears and Paul "Pauly D" DelVecchio be friends "till the World Ends"? Pauly thinks so! "We talk every couple of weeks," says the Jersey Shore star, 33, who served as Britney's opening act on her 2011 Femme Fatale Tour. And with Britney, 31, planning a move to Las Vegas this fall for a two-year residency with Caesars Entertainment, Pauly is hoping to spend more quality time with her. "We'll hand out a lot," says Pauly, who has a Sin City residency of his own at Aria Resort & Casino. "It'll be cool!" (Print Ediiton - 7/13)
Meh. Britney hooking up with Pauly D had the potential to write its own stories for an entire summer, but unfortunately for all of us, Britney seems to have either been cured of the crazies or her father James is an even better conservator
than he is a short-order cook -- which is really saying something because nobody can deep-fry alligator tails like Mr. Spears. Actually, I feel bad for Pauly D. Even though she has an occasional hillbilly hiccup and "forgets" to strap those udders down during her coffee runs, Britney's been a model citizen for a while now, so it's unlikely Pauly will fist pump his way into the Spears' fortune. Only time and a shitload of meth will tell.*5 Britney Spears and Pauly D pictures total in the gallery: