Brian Austin Green

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green leaving Rite-Aid in L.A. (1/13)

OK, that headline may be a bit dramatic, but I don't think I'm too far off base with this. See how Megan's head is tilted away from Brian? See that? I know how to read body language and, dude, I'm pretty sure she wants to fuck me.

*23 Megan Fox pictures total in the gallery:

Did Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green split up?

Megan Fox was spotted leaving Larchmont Bungalow in L.A. yesterday without two thing: 1. her husband Brian Austin Green, and 2. her wedding ring. C'mon, Brian. Dry-humping is not "technically" cheating. And it only happened once. You get a bottle of white zin in me and I start doing some crazy shit.

*15 Megan Fox pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Saturday, July 30 and Sunday, July 31

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green leaving Pinches Tacos in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jason Biggs and Chris Klein on the set of American Reunion in Monroe, Georgia (pics start here)

Rosario Dawson riding her bike in Venice Beach (pics start here)

David Beckham boogie-boarding in Malibu (pics start here)

Kristin Cavallari out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale arriving on a flight at Miami International Airport (pics start here)

Brooke Burke, husband David Charvet, and their kids Heaven and Chaya arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Kim Kardashian going to a friend's baby shower in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

P. Diddy arriving at the VIP Room in Saint Tropez (pics start here)

Jenna Fischer (The Office) at a Lexus dealership in L.A. (pics start here)

Paris Hilton hosting a beach party in Malibu (pics start here)

Justin Bieber arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Nicky Hilton at a beach party in Malibu (pics start here)

Anna Kendrick celebrating her birthday at Vanity nightclub at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas (pics start here)

*153 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Megan Fox didn't cheat on Brian Austin Green

Much was made earlier this week about Shia LaBeouf's interview with Details where he pretty much confirmed the rumor that he nailed Megan Fox while the two were working on Transformers in 2009. Was she single at the time? Did she cheat on Brian Austin Green? Not that it matters (What, was he going to dump her? For who, a waitress at IHOP?), but a source who worked on Transformers told Us Weekly that Megan didn't cheat:

"Yes, Megan and Shia hooked up. It was when Megan and Brian broke up. They had a 10-month break before getting back together.

"[Shia and Megan] bonded while filming. Believe me, that was an unhappy set. I think they were drawn together because it was so ugly working [with Michael Bay] on that film."

Jesus, do any of the actors in this movie franchise know when to shut up? Shia should have learned from Megan's mistake that you absolutely DO NOT act "unhappy" on set. Otherwise, you'll end up getting fired and see your career fizzle so badly that you'll end up doing complete losers like Jonah Hex or Brian Austin Green.

*10 Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green photos total in the gallery:

How 'bout you get a job instead of playing video games all day?

Megan Fox totally just punked her husband Brian Austin Green. In an interview with E!, she confirmed what we were all thinking about the guy anyways -- he's a whiny pussy:

"I didn't think that I was into [vow renewal] until my relationship with Brian. He's very sensitive and very emotional. He's a Cancer so he's very all about feelings and relationships and he cries about everything. He'll want to do it so I'll do it for him."

Real men don't cry Brian. They punch things. And grunt. And bend big pieces of metal with their bare hands. Actually I take that back -- I did cry one time. I was stuck in the desert with Chuck Norris and he needed a few drops of liquid to survive. Pussy. True story. I couldn't possibly make that up.

*20 Brian Austin Green pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Thursday, May 5

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green arriving at The Staples Center in L.A. for the Lakers/Mavericks game (pics start here)

Emma Stone filming The Amazing Spider-Man in New York (pics start here)

Chelsie Hightower arriving at Dancing With The Stars studios for practice in Hollywood (pics start here)

Nina Dobrev heading to a beauty salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Francia Raisa at the premiere of Jumping the Broom held at ArcLight Cinemas in Hollywood (pics start here)

Alyson Michalka and her sister Amanda Michalka out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Kristin Cavallari at the premiere of Something Borrowed at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood (pics start here)

Vanessa Williams leaving BOA Steakhouse in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Mark Salling (Glee) out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Amy Yasbeck (Baywatch) in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Dakota Fanning and Elle Fanning arriving at LAX airport (pics start here)

Melanie Griffith leaving Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Sienna Miller leaving Home House in London (pics start here)

*108 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Brian Austin Green out and about in Hollywood (12/10)

Is Brian Austin Green cheating? Actually, no, that's just a fan he's taking a picture with. But I think I speak for everyone here [who's ever beat off to Megan Fox] in saying that we should definitely start those rumors.

*10 Brian Austin Green pictures total in the gallery:

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green arriving to the Giorgio Armani show during Milan Fashion Week (9/27)

I don't know about you, but if I was married to Megan Fox, I'd want as many people as possible taking pictures of us. Hell, I'd probably pass out cameras. From E!:

Megan Fox and hubby Brian Austin Green were spotted having a quiet, low-key dinner on Saturday night at Gyu-Kaku Japanese BBQ in West Hollywood. So quiet, in fact, Brian was not pleased when a fan approached the semi-newlyweds' table.

"Someone tried to get a picture with them, but Brian said they don't take pictures anymore because it would end up on Facebook," says an eyewitness to the fan diss. "Megan looked like she was going to get up and take one before Brian said, ‘She does not take pictures either.' "

You can't really blame Brian for not wanting his picture taken. If the California Labor Board saw a picture of him at this restaurant, they'd know he wasn't really looking for a full-time job. They might cut off his unemployment checks. He'd totally be screwed.

*16 Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green pictures total in the gallery:

Megan Fox at Day 2 of the Toronto International Film Festival (9/10)

Why can't Megan Fox just get a divorce already? Christ, she's been married to Brian Austin Green for almost three months now. I think that's more than long enough for her to figure out that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with him. From the New York Post:

Megan Fox, at the Toronto Film Festival with "Passion Play," was spotted at the Royal Ontario Museum with her new husband, Brian Austin Green, who'll be on "Desperate Housewives" next season. Reminded of her husband's recent words in Details -- "You don't validate your life by your job, you validate by your son and your wife" -- the actress was brought to a near- weep. "It's just amazing to have someone you love so much," she told Rick Campanella of "E.T. Canada," adding, "You just made me cry. You are like the Barbara Walters of 'ET Canada.' "

Obviously Brian feels his life has been validated by his wife -- he's married to one of the hottest women on the planet. Wake me up when Dean McDermott or Matthew Broderick says the same thing.

*6 Megan Fox Toronto Film Festival pictures total in the gallery:

Megan Fox and Brian Austin-Green leaving the Arclight in Hollywood (5/16)

I thought Megan Fox and Brian Austin-Green-Fox would at least make it a month before we heard rumors that their marriage was in trouble. From the Chicago Sun Times:

After reading Wednesday's column about the weekend wedding of Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green, a friend of Fox's currently in town working on the Ron Howard film called to say she is worried the newlywed's bliss may be short-lived.

"She never got over ['Transformers' co-star] Shia LaBeouf. ... Brian has always been her second choice, but he's a good guy and truly is crazy about her. But, I don't think that one-way street kind of relationship will eventually work out, I'm sorry to say."

Of course their relationship is "one way" -- Megan's one of the hottest pieces of ass on the planet, and the only person in Hollywood who's worked less than Brian this past decade is Chris Farley. I guess there's a chance these two might make it -- but that all depends on whether or not Brian can keep Megan from falling for other has-been TV stars of his caliber from the 90s . . . such as Corky from Life Goes On.

*13 photos total in the gallery: