Bradley Cooper

Zoe Saldana at the 27th Annual Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica (2/25)

Good news patrons of gay clubs with names like The Lumber Yard or The Sausage Factory ladies -- Bradley Cooper is single. From Us Weekly:

Bradley Cooper is single again. Three months after Cooper, 37, and his Words costar Zoe Saldana, 33, first hooked up, the couple have called it quits, a source confirms to the new issue of Us Weekly.

"They're definitely not together," the insider says of the pair, who met while filming the upcoming thriller and were first spotted kissing at a New Year's Eve bash.

Though Saldana was spotted hanging with Cooper's mom, Gloria, in February, pals say she isn't too bummed about her breakup. "She and Bradley weren't superserious at all," says a pal of Saldana and Cooper.

Well, looky here. I know Bradley and Zoe splitting up is supposed to be news, but when did they officially start dating? That's news to me, and I have a stranglehold on the pulse of pop culture. This really isn't news. Why? Because these two are some bland mofo's. As you nobodies know, the standard formula for my fun little website goes as such: celebrity couple breaks up and I tease them something unmerciful based on the reason for the break-up and/or their appearance. Did my pulling back of the curtain freak you guys out? Good. Now, since no reason was given for Bradley and Zoe's split, I was planning to make one up of my own. I would have, too, but we at Celebslam have a reputation to uphold. I didn't win four Internet Pulitzer Prizes in a row for making up facts. Who do you think we are, MSNBC? ZING, BITCHES!

*30 Zoe Saldana pictures total in the gallery:

Bradley Cooper leaving J.Lo's house in Calabasas (10/15)

There was a rumor last month that Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lopez went on a date in New York. Well they're definitely doing more than just dinner together as Brad was spotted leaving Jennifer's house in Calabasas on Saturday. To quote the great Deena from Jersey Shore: They did sex. TMZ says:

Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lopez are not a couple just yet ... but a source close to the pair says they are indeed "casually dating." We're told the two enjoy each other's company but are keeping things simple for now. So while they aren't boyfriend/girlfriend yet, our sources say "they are definitely dating."

The two are "enjoying each other's company"? OK that settles it, this story has to be planted by a publicist. The last living being to willingly hang out with Jennifer Lopez were her twins, and that was only because they were locked in her womb for nine months and couldn't find a way out.

*5 Bradley Cooper pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Lopez on the set of a music video in L.A. (8/22)

I guess Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lopez are dating now or something. Either that or it's just a weird coincidence that they both got hungry at the same time, went to the same restaurant, and ended up sitting at the same table together. And then had sex. From TMZ:

We're told the two hit up Per Se, a restaurant located at Columbus Circle in New York City. We're told the dinner was "romantic" and was just the two of them.

This is an obvious play by Bradley. Single mothers of two with the temperament of a caged lion being poked with a stick don't just come along every day. You gotta lock those chicks up when you can. I'm just surprised he waited so long.

*10 Jennifer Lopez pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde going through security at LAX airport (5/3)

If you're wondering where Bradley Cooper is at this exact moment, a safe guess would be that he's in Olivia Wilde. From Life & Style:

Olivia Wilde and Bradley Cooper are certainly enjoying the single life...together! In less than one week, the pair have been on two dates together, and Life & Style can exclusively reveal photos of the two getting cozy at the Hangover Part II premiere afterparty at the Boom Boom Room in NYC on May 23.

"Olivia was Bradley's date," an eyewitness tells Life & Style. "He was always taking her hand or putting his hand on her lower back, it was really sweet. He took care of her all night. They were definitely together .At one point, they even wanted some alone time and hiked up the stairs to the roof, but they had trouble getting there! ... They left together at 12:15. They seemed really comfortable together." A second eyewitness confirms the pair got into the car together after leaving the party.

Awww, it's nice to see two wildly successful and attractive people finally find happiness. Of course, like most Hollywood couples, you know this type of puppy-love relationship will never last. In a few years Olivia won't be able to forgive Bradley for constantly being away for work, and Bradley won't be able to forgive Olivia for turning 30.

*20 Olivia Wilde pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Biel in Oahu, HI (1/20)

It must be nice to be checking out at the supermarket, randomly pick up a National Enquirer, and find out that Jessica Biel desperately wants to have sex with you. Via Showbiz Spy:

Jessica Biel is bulking up in a bid to snare Bradley Cooper - sources say. According to American tabloid the National Enquirer, Biel has invited Cooper — her costar in box office bomb The A-Team - to join her for a trek in the Santa Monica Mountains.

"She’s very physically fit and she always felt that Bradley was perfectly suited to her," a source said. "To appeal to his adventurer side, she asked if he’d like to go hiking with her rather than on a bvtraditional date. And it worked. Bradley agreed to go when they can work out the time."

Is Jessica Biel a complete idiot? She doesn't need to ask a guy to go hiking with her to get him interested -- she just needs to say "hi." Jessica Biel's ass to a guy is like speaking for Marlee Matlin -- neither one of them can say "no." Sure, hiking to the top of the Santa Monica Mountains might be fun for these two, but I guarantee you the only thing Bradley would be thinking about the whole time would be getting to the bottom.

*46 Jessica Biel bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Bradley Copper on the set of The Dark Fields in New York (4/1)

This kind of thing happens to me all the time when I'm at the beach. Such a hassle. From the National Enquirer:

Out for a beach stroll with sweetie Renee Zellweger, hunky Bradley Cooper just kept strolling when she paused to admire someone's dog-and a moment later, a giggling 20-ish hottie wearing OMG short-shorts and a low-cut Daisy Mae top suddenly jumped in front of him, waving a black Sharpie. "Please....," she begged, pointing to her southern exposure, exposed bountifully by her hiked-up shorts. "Please sign my butt!"

Lapsing into short-term insanity, as guys often do at such moments, Bradley took the Sharpie and was about to sign just above the...er, dotted line, when he heard "HEY!" An instant later, Renee snatched the Sharpie and snarled at Beach Bimbo: "He doesn't do butts!" Pouting, the girl whined: "Okay, but how about signing on the jeans?" Bradley glanced at Renee, got that "you're one short leash from the doghouse" look, and told the girl:"Sorry, no autographs today..." as Sweetie grabbed his hand and hauled him off. (Print Edition - 7/21)

OK, this needs to be said: What the hell is Bradley Cooper doing with Rene Zellweger? There are plenty of aging unattractive women with a modicum of fame out there for him to date -- and they're all on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Besides, if you consider what happened to Kenny Chesney after he married Rene, it's not other women she has worry about. It's other men.

*15 pics total in the gallery:

Bradley Cooper Pictures

Bradley Cooper heading to a gym in L.A. (6/3)

Warner Brothers announced yesterday that they’ve signed Bradley Cooper to star in their latest blockbuster film: “How Not to Silence Gay Rumors.” From the National Enquirer:

Bradley Cooper attracted an audience of female fans while circuit training at west hollwood's Equinox gym on June 3. A crowd of women followed the hunky "A-Team" actor from the treadmill to the weight machines to the mats. When Bradley realized he was being watched, he made a dash to the locker room. (Print Edition - 6/21)

Sorry, but if I had a gaggle of women watching me work out, I wouldn't make a beeline to the one place in the gym filled with naked dudes. Maybe the real reason Bradley bolted was because he didn't want anyone to see how little he could bench. If he's anything like me, he probably gets a little embarrassed when he can only do 4 reps at 500. *hangs head in shame*

*15 pics total in the gallery:

Bradley Cooper Pictures

Paparazzi photos from Thursday, April 1

Bradley Cooper on the set of The Dark Fields in New York (pics start here)

Jaime Pressley out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Aubrey O'Day outside Katsuya restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jennifer Garner shopping in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Kris Jenner out and about in Miami (pics start here)

Pete Wentz and his son Bronx in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Dannii Minogue at Perth Airport in Australia (pics start here)

Nicky Hilton outside BOA steakhouse in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Meg Ryan on her way to yoga class in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Raquel Welch promoting her new book Beyond The Cleavage: The Real Story Behind The Sex Symbol at Barnes & Noble in New York (pics start here)

Selena Gomez at a signing session at a C&A store in Paris (pics start here)

Tina Fey at Schoenefeld Airport in Berlin (pics start here)

*137 pics total in the gallery

Bradley Cooper at the premiere of Valentine's Day held at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood (2/8)

I don't want to reveal how I came about this information, but according to my exclusive inside source (the same source that tipped me off about Lindsay Lohan's lip injections), Bradley Cooper uses spray tan. Remember folks, you heard it on Celebslam.com first!

Jennifer Aniston on the set of Bounty Hunter in Atlantic City (6/24)

Jennifer Aniston thought she was dating Hangover star Bradley Cooper -- until he basically dumped her in front of reporters. Ouch. For those of you keeping track at home, Jennifer's now been dumped in person, on the phone, over email, on TV, via singing telegram, and through one of those planes that writes messages in the sky. "It's not you Jen, it's me." An insider told the National Enquirer:

“Jennifer was devastated when Bradley told reporters in Paris that she was ‘just a friend’ and denied they had any romantic involvement. It makes her look desperate — which is the one thing she dreads coming across more than anything else.”

At first, Aniston allegedly assumed Cooper’s public stance was merely an attempt to keep their relationship private, but the source explained that the actress soon learned otherwise.

“When (Aniston) confronted (Cooper) about it, he took the opportunity to let her down gently and say he only wanted to be friends,” the source revealed. “It was a huge embarrassment for Jennifer — now she feels used and upset — her confidence has taken yet another knock and she’s back at square one in terms of dating.”

Hasn't Jennifer realized by now that dating guys with blondish hair named "Brad" doesn't work for her? She needs to change things up a bit and start going after douchebag musicians (oh wait, nevermind), tall ugly comedians (oh wait, nevermind), short actors (oh wait, nevermind), anyone living outside of Hollywood. Seriously, if Jen's ever going to find the man of her dreams, she's going to have to start looking for a guy that's single, older, and not in the entertainment industry . . . like Kathy Griffin.