Bradley Cooper


Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse leaving The Serpentine Gallery Summer Party in London (7/2)

Bradley Cooper and his super young girlfriend are getting serious. So serious that he's been welcomed into the family home by her parents. Nice. I'm sure Bradley and them have a lot to talk about since they're close to the same age. From the Globe:
After dating for 18 months, it looks like Bradley Cooper has finally got the seal of approval from the parents of his model-actress girlfriend Suki Waterhouse, 22. Until recently, the Hangover star always stayed in the hotels when he visited the British beauty in London. "But now he's been welcomed into the family home," says our insider across the pond. "But the deal is he has to sleep in the spare bedroom - on his own!" Still, the 39-year-old hunk has been turning on the charm. "He's been showing off his cooking skills - and wowing everyone with his ravioli and cheesecake." (Print Edition)
Oh, thank God Bradley Cooper finally got the "approval" of this chick's parents! Where's my fainting couch? For a second there, I thought maybe her parents were holding out for someone more famous, with more money, who was better looking, and had (presumably) more than 11 inches. I mean, seriously, this dude can bang any chick on the planet he wants. He doesn't need their approval. He needs them to hold the camera while he skull-fucks their daughter.

*20 Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse pictures total in the gallery:

  • Bradley Cooper Serious Girlfriend 1
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Bradley Cooper arriving to the Burberry Show at Kensington Gardens during London Fashion Week (2/17)

Attending a state dinner at the White House earlier this month: Bradley Cooper. Not attending: His underwear. The balls on that guy. He told Ellen DeGeneres:
"I had to go commando - number one cause there was no room at all (in the tuxedo). I did. I had to... So it was really great. And you have to walk up the stairs and it was a nightmare. But I made it through."
Holy shit, Bradley Cooper is one bad motherfucker. Being the one saving grace from the 2010 hunk-of-shit A-Team movie is a nice feather in the cap, but to have mushroom-stamped a room full of dignitaries is indeed epic (and it's something we haven't seen since W was in office). Well played, Brad. Now I understand why Joe Biden was following him around all night. Not too many men can claim to have been ball-gazed by a current VP -- well, I guess Bono could, too.

*20 Bradley Cooper pictures total in the gallery:

  • Bradley Cooper Freeballing 1
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Selena Gomez leaving a dance rehearsal studio in Studio City (7/13)

Note to Bradley Cooper: If you want to nail Selena Gomez, she's all yours buddy. From Extra:
Extra sat down with singer/actress Selena Gomez to help celebrate her 21st birthday and the release of her first solo album, "Stars Dance."

Gomez opened up about her recent run-in with her star crush, Bradley Cooper. "I just remember seeing him and freaking out and running away very quickly afterward. That seems to be the thing I do. It was surreal. He was so beautiful. I told him I was a big fan." Selena jokingly added, "I'll have a restraining order soon."
Sonofabitch, everything is coming up Clooney for Bradley Cooper lately. First, he survived that clusterfuck A-Team movie, then Jennifer Lawrence volunteered to lay down and take a grinding from him, then he started nailing the equivalent of a college junior, and now Selena Gomez wants an extra large serving of his choice cut USDA Prime beef in her taco to make up for that unfulfilling Canadian bacon she used to force down with a whimper. Throw in his visit to the Boston Marathon bombing victims and no one could possibly hate this guy. He's Like Mathew McConaughey before he lost his mind. Just do me a favor, Brad, and stay away from the bongos.

*10 Selena Gomez pictures total in the gallery:

  • Selena Gomez Midriff
  • Bradley Cooper Selena Gomez Rumors
  • Selena Gomez Stomach
  • Selena Gomez All Sweaty
  • Selena Gomez Dance Practice
  • Selena Gomez Dressed Down
  • Selena Gomez Bradley Cooper Hookup
  • Selena Gomez Casual Clothes
  • Selena Gomez Dating Bradley Cooper
  • Selena Gomez Bradley Cooper Rumors

Bradley Cooper with Jeff Bauman Jr. at Boston Medical Center (4/18)

As everyone sits glued to their TV and internet watching the manhunt unfold for Boston Marathon Bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev (Suspect #2, 19-years-old, "white hat guy"; Suspect #1, "black hat guy," his brother Tamerlan Tsarnaev has already been killed), let's take a minute to give some props to Bradley Cooper. He, along with Patriots receiver Julian Edelman visited double-amputee Jeff Bauman Jr. yesterday at Boston Medical Center. You may recognize Jeff from the gruesome photo of him being wheeled away from the scene by "cowboy hat guy" Carlos Arredondo. Amazing he can even muster up half a smile after the shit that happened to him. Apparently Kim Kardashian was also supposed to visit him yesterday, but Jeff couldn't afford her appearance fee.

DONATE TO 'BUCKS FOR BAUMAN' HERE (you can afford at least $20)

*3 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jeff Bauman Hospital 1
  • Jeff Bauman Hospital 2
  • Jeff Bauman Hospital 3

Bradley Cooper's new girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse

If I was famous, I'd like to think I'd act exactly like Bradley Cooper -- except for the banging 20-year-olds part. Once you hit 19, hit the road, bitch. From E!:
[Bradley Cooper] was spotted enjoying Boston and it's freezing temperature with with his possible new love interest, 20-year-old model Suki Waterhouse [on Monday].  The couple braved the cold weather at the historic tourist spot in beanie hats with Suki dressed in a hipster-chic black jacket, skirt, tights and boots while Bradley was dressed in Khaki cargo pants a winter peacoat and a beanie.

"They were having a good time together, touching and teasing each other," an eyewitness told E! News. "People were recognizing them so they walked quite quickly to avoid the crowds. They were laughing a lot and couldn't keep their hands off each other."
It really is Bradley Cooper's time, my friends. He's on a Matthew McConaughey-type career roll, and his personal life looks like a page out of John Mayer's diary from 2006. I thought there might have been something wrong with him for turning down Jennifer Lawrence like a boss, but now I see his pimpin' ways. Why get tied down to one needy actress when the entire Victoria's Secret catalog and NY Fashion Week roster are lining up to go down on you in the nearest bathroom stall? Just saddle on up to the bar and Brad will give you a drink eventually. Well played, sir, well played.

*15 Suki Waterhouse pictures total in the gallery:

  • Suki Waterhouse Bradley Cooper 1
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Jennifer Lawrence at the 2013 Film Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica (2/23)

Jennifer Lawrence sounds like a really great person to know. Especially if you're Bradley Cooper and you want to have sex with all of her hot friends. From the New York Post:
Despite the constant rumors, Jennifer Lawrence insists she's strictly friends with her "Silver Linings Playbook" co-star Bradley Cooper - and has even been setting him up with her friends. The 22-year-old Oscar winner said she's been helping the handsome actor out in the dating department. (Cooper split with actress Zoe Saldana in December.)

"I feel like all I've been doing lately is setting him up," the beauty said to MTV News. "I was like, 'You know what? I'm gonna save time and just get you a booklet with pictures of my friends. You just go through and pick them out, because this is getting exhausting.'"
Don't read too much into this tidbit, buddies. I have a sneaking suspicion that Jennifer and her friends are completely safe with Bradley Cooper. Brad seems to be the type of gentleman that would do anything to protect the virtue of a woman. Shit, I bet Bradley would rather have an enormous, veiny cock mercilessly rammed into his throat and poopshooter before allowing a lady caller to gain a reputation of ill repute by being seen with him past nightfall. I'm sorry, but Bradley is just a better man than all of us . . . a real "man's man," if you catch my drift.

*15 Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Lawrence Hook Up 1
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Laura Whitmore leaving the Silver Linings Playbook dinner at Little House Mayfair (2/8)

Life & Style says Bradley Cooper probably nailed MTV host Laura Whitmore in the bathroom at a party earlier this month in London. OK, they didn't say that exactly, but that's probably how it went down:
On Feb. 8, just hours after landing in London for a Silver Linings Playbook Grey Goose dinner at Little House Mayfair, "he spent a long time flirting with [MTV host] Laura Whitmore," an onlooker dishes to Life & Style, on stands now. "He asked for her number, which of course she gave him."
This is definitely one situation where those pesky gay rumors about Bradley could come in handy: "Yeah Laura, of course I'm gay. You could blow me to completion right now and it wouldn't even interest me. Watch."

*22 Laura Whitmore pictures total in the gallery:

  • Laura Whitmore Bradley Cooper 1
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Jenny McCarthy at a Halloween party at Gallery nightclub in Las Vegas last year

Note to Bradley Cooper: You could totally bang Jenny McCarthy if you wanted to. From In Touch Weekly:
"I went from one guy to the next. I had them lined up!" the former Playboy centerfold tells In Touch of her love life. "Now I'm enjoying being single. I've been waiting my whole life for my own talk show, so now I have to make sure I have enough time with my son, too. Love is low on the totem pole!"

And although she admits she's "not putting anything specific out there" in terms of the type of guy she goes for, Jenny concedes that all rules would be suspended for a certain Hollywood A-lister. "If someone wanted to set me up with Bradley Cooper, I would say, 'Fuck all the bullshit I just said!'" she tells In Touch with a laugh.
I wish I could be nicer to celebrities, but every time I think I'm out, their stupid-ass comments pull me back in. Case in point: Jenny McCarthy. Jenny wants a shot at Bradley Cooper, a guy who could be plowing a fine little piece of filet mignon -- Jennifer Lawrence -- if he wanted to. Unfortunately for Ms. Mac, she's resembling beef jerky that's been in the Exxon Shop a few weeks too long these days -- not that it makes a difference to Brad. Rumor has it that Brad is big time into the vegetarian scene -- he just cant get enough V8 poured down his throat and chest. Hey, who can blame him? I can totally see why vegetarianism is perfect for him . . . no vegan.

*25 Jenny McCarthy pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jenny McCarthy Bradley Cooper 1
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Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence at a screening of Silver Linings Playbook in L.A. (11/19)

Bradley Cooper says he would never sleep with Jennifer Lawrence because she's too young. WTF? She's not Dakota Fanning. No one's gonna think you're a pedophile. From Entertainment Tonight:
Nancy O'Dell caught up with Golden Globe nominee Bradley Cooper backstage at [Sunday]'s Golden Globe Awards. When asked by O'Dell to address the persistent rumors that he is dating Jennifer Lawrence, his co-star in Silver Linings Playbook, Cooper responds, "If it didn't happen by now, it's not gonna happen...I could literally be her father."
Wow, Bradley isn't interested in uber hot Jennifer Lawrence because he could "literally be her father." I'm obviously not hip the current jive talkin' you kids are all blabbing, but is "too young" another way of saying "I need a hot, throbbing cock jammed into my backside"? If age differences in their relationships don't seem to bother alpha males like George Clooney, Ryan Seacrest, or Hugh Hefner then . . . wait a second, maybe Brad is onto something there. Maybe not bearding out hot chicks is the new way actors stay in the closet. Now that I think about it, where has Gilligan been hiding the last couple of years?

*15 Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery:

  • Bradley Cooper Jennifer Lawrence 1
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Zoe Saldana at the 27th Annual Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica (2/25)

Good news patrons of gay clubs with names like The Lumber Yard or The Sausage Factory ladies -- Bradley Cooper is single. From Us Weekly:
Bradley Cooper is single again. Three months after Cooper, 37, and his Words costar Zoe Saldana, 33, first hooked up, the couple have called it quits, a source confirms to the new issue of Us Weekly.

"They're definitely not together," the insider says of the pair, who met while filming the upcoming thriller and were first spotted kissing at a New Year's Eve bash.

Though Saldana was spotted hanging with Cooper's mom, Gloria, in February, pals say she isn't too bummed about her breakup. "She and Bradley weren't superserious at all," says a pal of Saldana and Cooper.
Well, looky here. I know Bradley and Zoe splitting up is supposed to be news, but when did they officially start dating? That's news to me, and I have a stranglehold on the pulse of pop culture. This really isn't news. Why? Because these two are some bland mofo's. As you nobodies know, the standard formula for my fun little website goes as such: celebrity couple breaks up and I tease them something unmerciful based on the reason for the break-up and/or their appearance. Did my pulling back of the curtain freak you guys out? Good. Now, since no reason was given for Bradley and Zoe's split, I was planning to make one up of my own. I would have, too, but we at Celebslam have a reputation to uphold. I didn't win four Internet Pulitzer Prizes in a row for making up facts. Who do you think we are, MSNBC? ZING, BITCHES!

*30 Zoe Saldana pictures total in the gallery:

  • Zoe Saldana Single 1
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