Blake Lively

Blake Lively on the set of Gossip Girl in New York (3/27)

I don't know why Ryan Reynolds wants to play house again just a year after his divorce from Scarlett Johansson. Blake Lively's vagina must be that awesome. I bet it smells like lavender. From Us Weekly:

Blake Lively and boyfriend of six months Ryan Reynolds want to live together and "have been looking around different areas of Connecticut" for a house, an insider tells Us Weekly. The couple had domesticity on the brain April 12, when they strolled through the upscale town of New Canaan (located an hour away from NYC). "They checked out a lot of home decor stores," says an onlooker of the pair.

Reynolds put the L.A.-area home he shared with ex-wife Scarlett Johansson on the market in February and now spends much of his time at Lively's pad in NYC.

"Ryan is practically living with her already," says one insider. "When he's at her apartment, it feels like home."

Hey, are all Canadians this squishy or is this a Ryan Reynolds problem? Now I understand why Scarlett dropped him like a used tampon and hooked up with a complete toolbag like Sean Penn -- she needed to be treated a bit rough and talked down to. Ryan, believe it or not, your ticket to Tom Arnold Island hasn't been punched yet. You can still sorta recover from the "I was breastfed until I was 16" look you're sporting these days. Come on, brother. You need to man-up before Blake humiliates you and decides to start taking loads from Steven Seagal.

*20 Blake Lively pictures total in the gallery:

Blake Lively on the set of Gossip Girl in New York (2/1)

Blake Lively is being a real bitch to her #1 fan Sergei Mifle. Ugh, I hate ungrateful actresses like Blake who forget that it was men like Sergei who helped them rise to fame. From TMZ:

Blake Lively just got a restraining order against a fan she claims was lurking around the set of "Gossip Girl" -- a fan who claims to have a "metaphysical" connection with the actress and was there "to help me heal."  The fan -- Sergei Mifle -- allegedly made repeated contact with Blake's mom, telling her he was "deeply concerned" about her daughter and claimed he needed to help her because she was troubled. Blake says in her declaration she's fearful about her personal safety and the safety of her mother. The judge issued the restraining order, which prohibits Mifle from coming anywhere near the actress or her mom.

Whoa, just everybody hold your horses for a minute or two. How do we know that Sergei Mifle is the creepy stalker Blake and her scumbag lawyers say he is? There is a possibility that this weirdo is psychic, you know. Miss Lively is virtually unprotected because she's affiliated with that clingy girlie-man Ryan Reynolds. Or maybe it's what we're all assuming: Blake is completely unfulfilled by Nancyboy Reynolds and needs a real man like Sergei Mifle to make it all better. You know, because nothing says "mental stability" like a clairvoyant Russian.

ALTERNATE HEADLINE: "In Soviet Russia, actresses stalk you"

*15 Blake Lively pictures total in the gallery:

Blake Lively

Blake Lively on the set of Gossip Girl in New York (1/31)

*10 Blake Lively pics total in the gallery:

Blake Lively at "A Tribute To Pedro Almodovar" at the Museum of Modern Art in New York (11/15)

Ryan Reynolds might want to slow it down just a tad with Blake Lively. Dude, you look like Ryan Reynolds. Blake's not going to leave you anytime soon. Well, unless she has no soul like Scarlett Johansson. Which is a distinct possibility. From the Chicago Sun Times:

That fast-track romance between "Gossip Girl" star Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds continues in high gear. Not only have the coosome twosome [ed. note: whoever wrote that should be beaten into a coma] been spied locking lips a lot, but a good New York real estate source tells me the couple are seriously shopping for fancy new digs they will share in the Big Apple. A key requirement: a high-rise home that will not have easy, nearby access for pesky paparazzi.

I think I've officially given up on Ryan Reynolds. I tried to get him to man up a little bit, but he's only getting worse. Now he wants to settle down and buy a house with a chick he pretty much just met? I wouldn't be surprised if he's sharing a double dildo with Blake, too (Requiem for a Dream, anyone?).

The reason why Scarlet had to cut this punk loose is becoming clear: Ryan Reynolds is a smothering girlie man. I never thought I'd say this before, but he needs to act a little more like Charlie Sheen around women. This whole situation is really tragic -- Ryan's a young guy with years of banging starlets ahead of him and is just wasting his time with relationships. Hell, at least Harrison Ford had the good sense to get into his 60s before he starting shooting estrogen.

*12 Blake Lively pictures total in the gallery:

Blake Lively at the Gossip Girl 100th episode celebration at Cipriani Wall Street in New York (11/19)

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are acting exactly like you'd expect a new couple to act . . . which is news I guess. From People:

Ryan Reynolds took girlfriend Blake Lively on an old-fashioned date in Connecticut Friday night, where the two held hands and shared ice cream out of the same cup.

The same cup!

After strolling around the holiday festival [in Ridgefield] for a bit, Reynolds, 35, and Lively, 24, stopped into Deborah Ann's Sweet Shoppe, where they "tried a few samples of ice cream off of those little spoons," says an eyewitness at the ice cream parlor.

"They picked their own flavors, English Toffee and Chocolate Fudge Brownie, but put them in the same cup and shared it. They left holding hands. They just blended in. They seemed very happy together. They were very excited about the ice cream."

Ryan, I know you're probably still hurting from being dumped by Scarlet Johansson, but you're gonna have to tone down this new "I'm sensitive and in touch with my inner pussy" version of yourself. Dude, you don't have to do this sugary horse-shit -- you know that Scarlet is pissed off.  Don't do that to yourself, and don't raise the bar for the rest of us. Listen, you and I are basically cut from the same cloth. We have the charm and abs that separate us from the rest of the chop meat. I'm not saying you have to be Chris Brown, but you shouldn't be Pete Wentz, either. Now stand up, take off the sundress, and in front of Blake and all the Saints announce that "Ryan Reynolds is back, and this time my balls are included."

*15 Blake Lively pictures total in the gallery:

Blake Lively on the set of Gossip Girl in New York (12/1)

Mentioned earlier that Scarlett Johansson is livid that her ex-husband Ryan Reynolds is now dating Blake Lively. And now here's Blake sporting a nice hickey on her neck on the set of Gossip Girl yesterday. Oh man, Scarlett is gonna be pissed. I bet she dunks Blake's head extra hard into the kiddie pool of chocolate pudding they're gonna wrestle in. Wait, that is how they're going to settle their feud, isn't it? You know, I just assumed . . .

*10 Blake Lively pictures total in the gallery:

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds on the set of R.I.P.D. in Boston (10/23)

OK, that headline may be a bit dramatic, but I bet if Scarlett Johansson ever ends up behind bars with Blake Lively, she at least tries to shank her with a rusty spoon. From Us Weekly:

A source tells the new issue of Us Weekly that Scarlett Johansson is fuming that her ex-husband, Ryan Reynolds, has moved on with Gossip Girl's Blake Lively -- even though Johansson ended their two-year marriage one year ago.

"Scarlett is pissed that he's not under her spell anymore," the source tells Us. "She realized what a great catch Ryan was .. Ryan would have gotten back with her. He was so totally in love, but then she flaunted Sean [Penn] right after their split, and he was done."

Adding insult to injury for the Iron Man actress? Lively, 24, is sticking around as things get more serious with Reynolds.

"Things are great [for Blake and Ryan]," says the source. "They haven't had a fight yet!"

Oh no, I never thought I'd see Scarlett Johansson do the grovel-walk of shame so early in her career (I'm looking right at you, Demi Moore). It appears that Agent Romanov found out the hard way that no aging commie douche-nozzle (aka Sean Penn) can satisfy you as well as an 8-pack of smarmy Canadian steel (aka Ryan Reynolds). Who says that Canadians aren't worth conquering? Well, myself and Scarlett Johanssen, apparently.

*11 Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds pictures total in the gallery:

BREAKING: Blake Lively has sexy legs

I don't believe this for a second, but apparently Leonardo DiCaprio is heartbroken and wishes he would have never dumped Blake Lively. Did he forget that his new girlfriend, Madalina Diana Ghenea, is roughly 10x hotter? From the National Enquirer:

Leonardo Dicaprio -- suddenly heartsick and lonely after dumping girlfriend Blake Lively -- keeps telling pals: "I made a huge mistake!" said a source: "Leo ended their five-month fling when he told Blake he just didn't have time in his life for serious romance, so she moved on -- quickly falling in love with Ryan Reynolds. But now, after being inundated wit photos and reports about his old flame and her new flame, Leo's jealous and wants Blake back."

Insiders confide that DiCaprio's texting and phoning nonstop with reconciliation pleas -- but Blake's adamant. Said the source: "She told Leo, 'we're not getting back together. I'm very happy right now, and I hope you'll find someone great...just as I have!'"

If Leo's really heartbroken over Blake, there's always one thing he can do to make himself feel better: look in the mirror. I mean, seriously, how is a guy that rich and good-looking supposed to feel bad about anything? All he has to do is walk out of his front door and he probably has 50 hotties lined up ready to bang him. No, there's only one thing that should make this guy feel bad about himself: The Beach (2000).

*15 Blake Lively pictures total in the gallery:

Blake Lively on the set of Gossip Girl in Manhattan (9/1)

Elizabeth Hurley -- who's guest-starring on a few episodes of Gossip Girl this season -- has a crush on one of the show's stars. Who could it be? Penn Badgley? Chace Crawford? Ed Westwick? Nope, Blake Lively. Aw yeah baby. Soooooooo hot. From OK! magazine:

OK! chatted with Elizabeth at the Ready, Set, Pink! event at Bloomingdale's today about the sexy character she plays on Gossip Girl. So has Elizabeth bonded with any members of the cast like Blake Lively perhaps?

"I love them all. I've been enchanted. She's the most enchanting girl," the actress said of Blake. "She's couldn't be more charming. Couldn't be more beautiful, incredibly talented and just adorable. I would marry her in a heartbeat if I had a sex change. She's absolutely perfect in every way."

Listen Elizabeth, if my countless hours of watching internet porn has taught me anything -- besides the fact that the best way for a teacher to discipline a sexy student is with ass-to-mouth -- it's that a woman doesn't need a sex change to be with another woman. She's just needs a strap-on and a pedicure.*

*Look mom, I'm a professional writer!

*30 Blake Lively pictures total in the gallery:

Blake Lively dumped Leonardo DiCaprio?

When Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio announced their split earlier this week, I naturally assumed that Leo dumped Blake ("There's not exactly a shortage of blonde chicks with fake tits for Leo to choose from in Hollywood"). Us Weekly is claiming that that's not the case:

"Blake wasn't ready to move to the next level," an insider tells the new Us Weekly, out now. "It was just too much, too quickly. Blake wasn't ready to settle down."

But, J. Edgar actor DiCaprio is looking ahead to the next phase of his life, the source says. "He's looking for someone to eventually start a family with...That's not where she's at. She's only 24!"

Adds another source: "He's more mature. They're not in the same place right now."

I'm not buying this for a second. Leo's been nominated for three Oscars. He's produced six films. No way he's getting dumped by some chick from Gossip Girl. He probably just leaked this story to get more pussy. "You must be so sad," the buxom supermodel said to the solemn looking DiCaprio sitting at the bar. "Will a blowjob help?"

NOTE: Well that was quick. Leo is already being linked with Australian model Alyce Crawford:



*27 Blake Lively pictures total in the gallery: