Doutzen Kroes in Miami (4/28)
Besides
Kelly Osbourne of course, there was nothing but attractive women in bikinis this weekend, including Victoria's Secret Angel Doutzen Kroes in Miami on Sunday. Yes, Doutzen, your ass really does look that good. I do the same thing in the mirror with my abs. Doutzen and I are both grateful that God made us one of the "pretties" and not one of the "uglies." I heard that they like to steal and don't feel pain like the rest of us do. *shudders*
*48 Doutzen Kroes bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Nina Dobrev and Julianne Hough in Miami (4/27)
What's better than
those pictures of Julianne Hough in a bikini I posted earlier? How 'bout Julianne Hough
and Nina Dobrev. I know, right? Why aren't they making out? It's the perfect weather for it.
*35 Nina Dobrev bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Julianne Hough in Miami (4/26)
Best way to fight persistent gay rumors? Don't
break up with a woman that looks like that in a bikini. Second best way to fight persistent gay rumors? Get caught having sex in a public restroom with a woman that looks like that in a bikini. Ryan Seacrest has a lot to learn.
*35 Julianne Hough bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Nicole Scherzinger is in a bikini It's officially that part of the week where I mentally check out, open a fresh bottle of whiskey, and drink until life doesn't hurt anymore. And I couldn't think of a better way to end the week than watching Nicole Scherzinger run in and out of the ocean. Bouncing boobs, they're my kryptonite, the only thing that can truly bring me to my knees. Oh yeah, and getting shot. And stabbed. But mainly bouncing boobs.
Vida Guerra bikini pics! (4/24)
Not one to let
Big Ang steal the show, Cuban model Vida Guerra also hit up the beach in Miami yesterday. Vida's ass used to be even more famous [and better-looking] than Kim Kardashian's, and then sex tapes were invented and everyone forgot about her. She's basically Nikola Tesla to Kim's Thomas Edison.
*39 Vida Guerra pictures total in the gallery:
Big Ang bikini pics (Miami 4/24)
Angela "Big Ang" Raiola stars on the VH1 reality show
Mob Wives, and yesterday she was spotted at the beach in Miami, or rather beached in Miami. Oh, I hope someone didn't try to push her back in the water. Just let nature take its course.
*30 Big Ang pictures total in the gallery:
Farrah Abraham in L.A. (4/21)
After the whole
sex tape debacle, I didn't think
Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham could sink any further, but then she had to go and include her 4-year-old daughter Sophia in a staged bikini photoshoot she did on Sunday. Using your kid as a moneymaking prop -- I bet Hollywood must be shocked and dismayed by this type of behav-LOL! I was almost able to type that without laughing. No, but seriously, if Farrah wants to make some extra money from her daughter, start selling vouchers good for a lap dance when Sophia hits the stage in 14 years. Hell, I'd probably buy a couple just because it'd be such a great value.
*20 Farrah Abraham bikini pics total in the gallery:
Bethenny Frankel bikini pics! (Miami - 4/20)
That's former reality star Bethenny Frankel in Miami on Saturday . . . though I use the term "former" very loosely. Once a reality star, always a reality star. Like a gay porn star. Once you suck some dude's cock for cash, you can never wash that shame off. Not even with Tide, and that shit is expensive.
*33 Bethenny Frankel bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Rachel Bilson in Barbados (4/16)
Rachel Bilson is currently on vacation in Barbados with boyfriend Hayden Christensen, and yesterday she was sportin' a nice little sunburn. Poor little thing. I bet Rachel wanted to bring sunscreen, but Hayden made her leave it at home because he's so domineering. What a jerk he is, Rachel. I heard a rumor that he likes to jump homeless people in the middle of the night and steal their shoes. Their old, ratty shoes! It's just shocking. Call me, baby.
*59 Rachel Bilson bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: