Eva Longoria in Miami (11/23)
In town for her friend's bachelorette party, here's Eva Longoria playing paddleball for 30 seconds in South Beach yesterday. She played for 30 seconds because that's exactly how long you can play paddleball for and still have fun. Seriously, I hate that damn game.
*49 Eva Longoria bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Model Sandra Kubicka in Miami (11/8)
+ Kate Upton's jugs for Harper's Bazaar [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Jennifer Nicole Lee bikini malfunction (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Jennifer Lawrence talks about her hymen [The Blemish]
+ Kourtney Kardashian is flashy (NSFW) [Celebslam]
+ Kim Zolciak and her daughters in bikinis [WWTDD]
+ NOOOOOOOO [Evil Beet]
+ Amber Rose ain't fucking around [Cele|bitchy]
+ Introducing The Hoff [I'm Not Obsessed]
+ 10 things you didn't know about Caroline Stanbury [Celebrity Toob]
BIKINI PICS OF THE DAY: Kat Torres was born to wear a bikini
*30 Sandra Kubicka bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Michaela Kocianova bikini pics!
Here's Slovak model Michaela Kocianova in Miami yesterday. Bordering Poland, Ukraine, Hungary, Austria, and Czech Republic, Slovakia's automotive industry has seen recent large investments by Volkswagen, Peugeot, and Kia Motors, placing it among the highest per capita car producers in the world. So if that shit comes up on Jeopardy, you totally owe me.
*25 Michaela Kocianova pictures total in the gallery:
Ciara in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (11/7)
Here's Ciara vacationing in Cabo San Lucas over the weekend. Nice. This reminds me of my last vacation to Mexico. Love that place. People helping you who can't speak English, filth everywhere, delicious food. . . wait, Taco Bell counts as Mexico, right? Ciara, I recommend the Volcano Quesarito.
*30 Ciara pictures total in the gallery:
Tawny Jordan bikini pics!
Here's model Tawny Jordan doing a photoshoot for 138 Water yesterday in Malibu. Again with this? You think just once 138 would hire a model who could actually drink their water without spilling it all over themselves. Clumsy!
*30 Tawny Jordan bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Chloe Moretz on the set of Neighbors 2 in L.A. (10/27)
Here's Chloe Moretz in a bikini on the set of Neighbors 2 earlier this week. I was gonna post these yesterday, but I had to set my computer on fire after that Jared from Subway story. Yeah, big mess. I'm actually writing this from the library right now. I can't make any jokes about bolt-on tits or tranny hookers or I'm gonna get kicked out. Praying to God I don't have to write about Kendra Wilkinson and her husband Hank later today. It'd be impossible.
*20 Chloe Moretz bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Maitland Ward bikini pics!
Here's former Boy Meets World star Maitland Ward doing another staged photoshoot, this time in Marina Del Rey. Maitland has firmly entrenched herself into the attention whore niche very nicely over the past year. If all goes to plan, her sex tape should be getting "stolen" around June. I've seen the handbook. I know how this works. I might have even fucked Tila Tequila at one point. I don't know. Last five years are a blur.
*10 Maitland Ward bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Elizabeth Hurley in a bikini
Here's someone claiming to be Elizabeth Hurley on vacation over the weekend. Obviously she's lying because 50-year-olds don't look like that in bikinis. For example, take Lindsay Lohan. She's 51 and looks exactly what you'd think a 51-year-old would look like in a bikini -- a little lumpy; a little saggy; a little droopy. It's not her fault. It's just what happens with time.
UPDATE: Just double-checked and apparently Lindsay Lohan is 29. Mind = Blown.
*5 Elizabeth Hurley bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Model Sofia Macaggi in Miami (10/20)
+ Jessica Biel in a tight dress [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Avril Lavigne nip slip at the pumpkin patch (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Lazy bitch [The Blemish]
+ Selena Gomez upskirt (NSFW) [Celebslam]
+ Oh hi Coco's boobs [WWTDD]
+ Angelina Jolie is gonna kill a bitch [Evil Beet]
+ Just shut up, Jeb [Cele|bitchy]
+ Do it, Daniel [I'm Not Obsessed]
+ 10 celebrities who have funny statues of themselves [Celebrity Toob]
BIKINI PICS OF THE DAY: Kahili Blundell's big ol' bikini boobies
*20 Sofia Macaggi pictures total in the gallery:
Bella Thorne's bikini body
Here's Bella Thorne looking damn fine in a bikini over the weekend. In case you hadn't heard, she turned 18 on October 8. Finally we can talk about her voting without seeming all creepy. What's that, Bella, you say you're registering as a Libertarian because you like the party's stance on social and economic issues? Aw yeah, baby. So hot.