Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden in Sardinia, Italy (7/24)
Don't ask me why I'm posting 33 pictures of Cameron Diaz in a bikini in Sardinia yesterday. I just am. Sometimes I cut myself because the pain helps me forget. I think that may explain things.
*33 Cameron Diaz bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Selena Gomez in a bikini in St. Tropez (7/21)
Selena Gomez is currently vacationing in the South of France, and for the past few days, she and Cara Delevingne have been spotted hanging out on the yacht Ecstasea. Completed in 2009 at an estimated cost of $200 million, the 282 foot Ecstasea is currently the 49th longest motor yacht in the world.
Note to Self: Get 282 foot yacht. Bang Selena Gomez. Seems easy enough.
*40 Selena Gomez and Cara Delevingne pictures total in the gallery:
Ludivine Sagna bikini pics! (Miami - 7/20)
Ludivine Sagna is married to French soccer star Bacary Sagna, and over the weekend she was spotted on vacation in Miami. Being gang-eye-raped by every man within 100 feet of her? Yes, exactly. How did you know?
*31 Ludivine Sagna bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Anastasia Ashley bikini pics! (Miami - 7/19)
Here's pro surfer/Sports Illustrated model Anastasia Ashley in Miami over the weekend. Anastasia has built quite the little career off that video of her twerking that went viral last year. Gotta hand it to her for building something out of nothing. She's like the anti-Lindsay Lohan, who is the master at building nothing out of something. Oh, you gave her a million dollars? Now she has a dollar.
*30 Anastasia Ashley bikini pictures total in the gallery:
LeAnn Rimes bikini pics! (Miami - 7/19)
Here's famed adulteress LeAnn Rimes in Miami on Saturday. On Sunday, LeAnn was the headline performer at the Mardi Gras Casino, about 25 minutes north of Miami. Because let's face it, when the premiere dining, greyhound racing, and nightlife venue of Hallendale Beach offers you a chance to perform in front of tens of fans, you don't pass that opportunity up.
*34 LeAnn Rimes bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Paulina Porizkova in Mykonos, Greece (7/15)
That's Czech model Paulina Porizkova on vacation in Mykonos earlier this week. Fun Fact: Paulina Porizkova was born in 1965, which makes her 49. That is just ridiculous. Prettttttty sure she switched bodies with Lindsay Lohan ten years ago. That actually explains a lot, so I'll just believe that.
*10 Paulina Porizkova bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Devin Brugman bikini pics! (Miami - 7/16)
I've featured Instagram model Devin Brugman (and her friend Natasha Oakley) on the site before, and her she is again because boobs. Good Lord. Her back must be made of titanium.
*30 Devin Brugman and Natasha Oakley pictures total in the gallery:
Kimora Lee on a yacht off of Cannes, France (7/11)
As far as I can tell, Kimora Lee is only famous for having been married to Russell Simmons years ago. But she's managed to parlay that marriage into years of being photographed on yachts -- even after she got a divorce. It's really quite remarkable. She's like some kind of gold-digging wizard. I'd suggest that she write a how-to book, but that would require actual independent thinking.
*20 Kimora yacht bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Lindsay Lohan on a yacht off the coast of Ischia, Italy (7/16)
So apparently Lindsay Lohan got pregnant since I posted those bikini pics of her yesterday. Or she's just fat. Oh dear god, let it be fat. Giving Lindsay Lohan a baby is like giving Jonah Hill the keys to an Arby's. There's gonna be blood -- probably a little semen -- and a death. Definitely a death.
*25 Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures total in the gallery: